


A Smile Like No Other

by SerenareyChiba



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-07 19:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 95,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4274856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenareyChiba/pseuds/SerenareyChiba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm not sure how I came to be here, but I feel like this has to be the worst situation for me to be put in. Why not the Uchiha? Why not the Nara, Yamanaka, Akimichi, or any other big group? Hell, even living as Naruto's sister would be great, but this... When she shows me that smile, I feel like I have a reason to fight. SI (self-insert) fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go again.

I'm not certain what gained me access to my previous memories. Going on accounts of the many different fanfiction I've read online, most people seemed to be self-aware of themselves and their position from the get-go, as if nothing was amiss. Maybe I'm simply different and couldn't recognize myself for what I was. As far as I'm aware, I spent my first two years in childish bliss, unaccountable for anything and not really caring about anything outside of my family bubble.

Young as I was, I still understood that my parents were not the most...hands-on mother and father ever. Aside of feeding me, changing my diapers before I could finally potty train, and meeting any other immediate needs, I actually never really saw the two. My father had been critically injured at some point in his life and couldn't care for me as he probably should have, from a moral standpoint, but at least he was there, I guess. My mother, on the other hand, was frequently attending to duties at work, and going on one mission after another. Considering my father wasn't bringing in any sort of income, it would only make sense that the only person who could support us would do nothing but.

I can't say it was a terrible childhood, those first two years. I had a sibling who was far older than I – close to nine years to be more precise. The second sibling was only around five years older in comparison. To be truthful, I don't think I was supposed to be born – I won't say I was a mistake, but more like an unexpected surprise. I could deal with that.

My sister was the quiet sort – she would often curl up with a book and read, though she always made time to speak gently or play with me. My brother was the complete opposite in that he was quite boisterous, always talking obnoxiously and just generally a nuisance. He adored our older sister though, and used to follow her around like an older puppy, and I won't deny that I didn't do the same as well. With father always gone to the hospital for checkups and essentially someone of insignificance in we three siblings' lives, and as mother was always gone for business and whatnot, our sister was our rock.

She learned to cook because there wasn't anyone else around to feed us, and she learned to sew to fix our clothing, and to clean after us as best as she was able. There was little reason to not see her as something of a role model, or parental figure. When I turned one, she suddenly became a lot busier, but she still made certain to come home and take care of the both of us. At the time, I don't believe I respected nearly anyone as much as I did her. The one thing I will never forget about her from that time period was the ever present smile that seemed like it was permanently affixed to her face. It was a soothing expression.

My brother took up the slack for my sister's continuance absence after a while. He couldn't cook worth a damn, but he tried, which is the most important part, I suppose. Ramen became a constant, and he had this uncanny sweet tooth that I couldn't say I genuinely shared. He would often also take me to the park a lot, though I was too young to actually do most of the activities. He also attempted to show me some different fighting techniques, much to our sister's amusement. Her claim that I was too young for such things obviously didn't deter him in the slightest.

Of course, it wasn't like my brother was always around – he had school to attend, after all. I would sleep in until around noon, by which point, my father would get home from a clinical. When my brother came home from school a few hours after that, Father would once again go missing for whatever reason.

My sister, however, would have periods where she would be home for days straight and then be gone suddenly for weeks at a time. It was jarring at times, but I'd learn to adapt to this routine: Mother was always gone; Father would be gone from early in the morning until noon, be present for me until my brother returned home and then vanish; Brother would be gone for school from the early morning until the mid-afternoon, and then would come home to attend to me; Sister would be present intermittently depending on what business needed to be conducted.

They probably weren't the  _best_ , or most textbook-appropriate family, but they were all I had. As I said, those first two years were somewhat blissful. Ignorance has its silver linings.

Around early April, after I'd turned three, was when things began to roll downhill. My father's health turned for the worse and he permanently landed himself into a hospital bed. As far as I know, he hadn't had much time left to live. My sister left on an extended mission, which essentially meant I wouldn't see her again for quite some time, and suddenly, my brother was the only person I'd had left. I'm sure he tried his best to take care of me, but there's only so much a nearly eight-year-old boy could do when left to deal with a toddler on his own, as well as deal with the stress accumulated from knowledge of our father's situation.

Four months after that, our father died, leaving my brother succumbing to a deep depression. Suddenly, half of his family was gone from his life. Mother really didn't seem to exist, and the only reason we even knew she was still alive was from the gradual accumulation of money within our family bank account. Thinking back on it now, I'd like to say she had probably been running away from our family situation – no person should be able to undertake so many different missions, no matter how good or invaluable he or she was. It isn't hard to accept this theory, considering her husband had passed away, her daughter was gone for who knows how long, and her son was listless and rather unresponsive. Then, of course, there was me, but I was just the dumb toddler who still dribbled on her clothes and butt-scooted everywhere. I could walk, but that took energy I didn't care to expend. But, enough of that.

Admittedly, despite losing most of my family because of various circumstances, I was still content with my life, as most toddlers are. My brother still doted on me, despite his depression, and I was fed, clothed, and more or less happy with my day to day life. After all, as long as I had some of my family with me, what did anything else matter?

Yes, well. Fast forward to two months after that, and suddenly my life became hell.

I remember this moment clearly. My brother had just settled down with me to read me a story and we had made it about a fourth of the way through when a deadly chill laid down like a blanket over us. I don't believe I felt anything to be out of the ordinary, but my brother suddenly sat up ramrod straight, eyes wide and fearful. Book forgotten, he clutched me tighter to his chest, his heart pounding at a higher rate than normal. I heard a deafening roar that made me freeze with acute fear, though for what reason, I was unsure.

The lights all around us flickered off and on before finally losing power altogether as another roar sounded through the area. I heard a scream which must have come from me, as my brother was too drunken with fear to do much more than hold me close to him. A flash of red zoomed past our windows, as if a fire had broken out somewhere until we saw another red substance begin bubbling through the cracks and edges of our house. I had whimpered and clung as steadfastly to my brother as possible, but he didn't seem to register anything, so in the throes of fear that he was. I believe it was the moment that I tried to touch the red substance that he suddenly snapped out of his funk and hauled me up in his arms for a better grip.

My brother chose to jump back onto the couch before suddenly shifting me around to hang onto his back, my arms around his neck as he supported my legs and rear end. In the next second, he dashed out of the house right before we were swept away by a ferocious wind that sent us skyrocketing across the street. My brother had closed his eyes as we neared closer and closer to another house – had I been able to understand death fully, I might have thought that we were definitely doomed at that point.

However, surprise was definitely on our side, for better or worse, when someone suddenly appeared right behind us, catching the both of us with relative ease. Her dark blue eyes looked down piercingly at the two of us – I'd wager we were quite the sight, and I'm sure I'd lost control of my bowels at some point. I almost hadn't recognized her.

"M-Mom?" my brother stuttered out, obviously completely taken aback.

Our mother narrowed her eyes even more, her hand gripping Brother's shoulder tightly.

"There is little time to talk," she said, cutting to the chase immediately. "Do you remember where the nearest emergency bunker is?"

"I-I think so, but what...?"

Her hand moved away from his shoulders and instead rested gently upon my head as she frowned almost regretfully at me. The hand shifted down to cupping my cheek softly before leaving my face, and taking whatever warmth gained away with it.

She smiled slowly and sorrowfully. "You must be strong – take your sister there and protect her with your life. She is all you have now. You must ensure she lives."

"B-but, I don't understand!" my brother argued. "What's going on? What  _is_  that thing? Where are you going? Why can't I help?"

"If you do this for me," our mother began, speaking as sincerely and kindly as she could, "you will be doing more for me than you could ever know. I need to go. Stay safe."

With that, to both my brother's and my disbelief, she had just vanished, off to fight the thing that was wrecking everything in sight. I'd noticed two tears slide their way down my brother's cheeks before he suddenly hardened his expression. He flashed me a quick, wobbly smile and then suddenly sped off in the opposite direction that our mother had. I recall looking back towards the destruction, subconsciously registering that that had been the first, and last, smile our mother had ever made since I'd become conscious of my surroundings. She reminded me of my sister, and was yet another person who had lost much do to circumstance and unfortunate circumstances. It was terrible thing to realize, though it took me some years to finally understand.

My brother had done as our mother requested, and taken me to the shelter. We were both young, so as soon as we'd made it, we were rushed in by some older people. Corralled like sheep, the two of us sat with an alarming number of other people who had no choice over their future, the same as us. I had heard babies crying galore, with their parents either shuddering with fear or brimming with barely reined anger. The children around my brother's age looked restless and discontent, understanding in part their situation, but still so very unaware. This left them looking very unsatisfied with just sitting around waiting for the older, better, stronger, faster people to do the hard work.

My brother and I had probably been at the shelter for maybe half an hour or so before he finally became fed up with just sitting around. The people coordinating the different refugees were so obviously overworked and stressed that they wouldn't have been able to keep track of all of the people who came in. In other words, they never would have noticed a young eight-year-old kid duck out of the bunker, intent on providing whatever help he could to our mother as well. And, he did leave me, though not without sparing me a small smile.

He had laid his hand down on my head and gently ruffled my hair.

"Hey there, little one," he whispered up at me as I'd just stared at him with wide eyes. "I have to go. I can't just sit here doing nothing. What would Sister say? Stay put. I'll be back soon."

Then, just like everyone else in my life by that point, he'd vanished.

I think I'd stayed there for the next few hours until the roaring finally came to a close and silence permeated through the area. I stayed silent in the middle of all those people, not moving or making a peep as a siren wailed, signaling an all-clear. Whatever had put us all in such danger had been dealt with. We were safe again, but there was no denying the evidence of what that monster had done. Even when the people at the bunker doors said people could leave without worry, no one budged, so frightened were they all. Eventually, the coordinators were able to coax out one person after another into the dead of the night, though there were a few of us children who never lifted a finger or bothered to welcome our hard-earned freedom. Although, just as the other families and adults had, those other children finally rose up and dragged their feet as they walked to meet their fate.

In the end, I was the only one left within the bunker, though I'd chosen not to move. My brother had told me to stay put. Nothing they did was going to make me do otherwise. When I persisted in ignoring the coordinators, even going so far as to throw a temper tantrum when they said I needed to leave, someone lost their patience and grabbed me off of the ground. I was forcibly taken out of the bunker outside under the beautifully bright full moon.

The second we stepped out, even my three-year-old mind could depict the damage wrought upon my hometown. Entire districts had been demolished, leaving many homeless and many, many more without their loving families. I'd discovered much later that my brother had indeed gone out to fight the demon, but just like several others, he lost his life almost immediately. My mother had fought with the best of them, but she didn't last long either after bidding us a good-bye.

All I had to remember each of them, my brother, sister, mother, and even father by, were their last parting smiles. Those smiles had gifted me with warmth and now my memory equated them with their deaths.

And then, hours after the demon had been dealt with, I stood in front of my house. The second story was missing part of its roof, and if I had been able to waddle over to see, I would've noticed that I could see a portion of the kitchen as clearly as ever. It was my home, but it wasn't, in a way. I don't think I quite understood this as I walked in through the open front door – something I could thank my brother very much for. I'm not quite sure how I got back considering that, once again, I was three, but regardless...

I'd pushed the door closed by leaning my full weight against it. When it clicked closed, I looked at the empty house with a chunk missing from it. The next few minutes went by in a blur as I walked away from the door and peered up over at the kitchen. I tilted my head to the side as the moonlight poured in but soon lost interest in it. I walked to the staircase, taking each step one at a time. The second floor, I realized upon reaching it, was only half there. My room, my brother's room, and part of my sister's room simply didn't exist anymore. There was nothing left.

I looked down at the remnants of the second story before heading straight across the hall into my parent's room. It was as pristine as ever, almost as if nothing had ever happened. It was both comforting and strange at the same time. As I'd walked across the room up to the enormous bed where my mother and father had slept in the off times that they had been home, I don't think it had hit me yet that there was really nothing left for me. I'd climbed up the covers – always tucked in tightly by my ever anal mother – and crawled across the bed to duck under the covers. That was the first night I had been left on my own. This may have been what caused me to remember everything I'd tucked away in the back of my mind after being born in this world.

The pain came the next morning.

With the unfortunate loss of every single member of my family and the traumatic event of the demon that had plagued my town, the gates of my mind opened wide with an outpouring of twenty-seven years of my previous life. With this information came an understanding of the world I'd lived in before, my high points and my mistakes both, and the eventual death leading to my reincarnation here. Actually, I couldn't remember exactly how I'd died, but as my life was suddenly cut short so abruptly, I can only assume.

Suddenly, it wasn't just my family in this world that I'd lost, but I'd lost my original mother, my friends, my job, and my future from before. I really didn't have anything left. I also could finally understand what had happened to me in my current world, and the bitterness that easily swept through me. I was three-years-old again, trapped in the world of a manga, with a realization that my life was about to get a lot worse.

I think I'd laid in the bed for another couple of hours, my small hands held up to my head as I stared up at the ceiling. I was three. There was no way I could support myself in any capacity. I couldn't even reach the top shelf of the refrigerator, and it wasn't healthy for someone so young to be without company, no matter how old I was mentally. At the moment, I didn't have access to the family funds or any means of taking care of myself. Unless I got some help somehow, I would be well on my way to a quick death of possible starvation.

My goal had been surprisingly clear to me. I had been hungry, but again, as I couldn't cook in my current form, I had to ignore the pangs of hunger as I walked back down the stairs and opened the front door. With the sunlight came a better understanding of all of the destruction. There were people bustling everywhere, trying to fix this and that and make the town, no – village, I corrected, a better place. No one paid me any attention until someone nearly tripped over the messy thing that I was.

I'd fallen flat onto the dirt road, my eyes immediately narrowing as I glanced up. I probably didn't look like the happiest baby girl ever, but that didn't really matter. The person I'd run into wasn't anyone of consequence, though they did ask me the pertinent questions of what I was doing there, where my family was, why I was alone, and so forth.

I'd been taken to the orphanage not much longer after that.

* * *

One and a half years or so passed like nothing bringing us right to the present. Unlike in other fanfiction, I didn't see fit to do much of anything.

Train? What for? I didn't know how to do anything. I'd dabbled in karate at some point in my life, but it wasn't as if that would help me now. Learn how to wield chakra? How? I'd been here for three years before my memories came spiraling back into my mind, and so living with chakra had become as old hat as breathing. Meet important characters? What was the point? I wasn't of any mind to become close to anyone after everything I'd already lost. I had no interest in making friends in a world where people died as easily as the flame of a candle.

I did read though. I read everything I could get my hands on. There was  _nothing_  else to do. I didn't want to "play ninja" like the other kids. I'd already resigned myself to wanting to enter the academy. I'd learn how to be a ninja soon enough. I also never found coloring to be any fun, and trying to hop from tall walls without knowledge of how to land properly didn't sit well with me either.

Ah, one interesting thing that did happen was my meeting the main protagonist of the whole shebang: Naruto.

I honestly didn't think much of him. I wasn't fond of babies. I wasn't particularly sold on blonds. He cried all, of, the, time. He was also the most hyperactive runt I had ever known in my life. This is saying something, since I used to teach children for a living. Whatever sympathy I may have once had for this kid flew out the window the second he woke me up one day by screaming into my ear.

No, I didn't like Naruto. Thank God I was older than him.

Just like last year, and I'm sure, all of the years before, the Sarutobi Hiruzen, the big, bad Hokage himself, came to visit the orphanage. I'm sure it was partly just to check up on Naruto – the dick shouldn't have put the kid in the damn orphanage in the first place – as well as to ask us orphans if we wanted to be ninja. I think every one of us of age said yes. It was either become an academy student, or stay in the orphanage until we were fifteen or sixteen.

I wasn't interested in being a ninja because of how brilliant it sounded, but I wanted a way to ensure my survival. As a civilian, I would be limited to specific things, and unless I became a merchant, I would be restricted to the village. I also couldn't live my life without some kind of specific set path or goal to undertake. I needed structure in my life – that's something I'd sorely been lacking in both lives.

The Hokage looked at each of us with a proud smile until he noticed me. When he saw me, I'm pretty sure I know exactly what crossed his mind upon seeing my features. He frowned thoughtfully though kindly said nothing regardless.

"So you all want to become ninja, do you?"

All of the other children shouted out affirmatives in very loud voices, making me close my eyes and wish I had some ibuprofen to drink down. When he looked at me, I merely forced a smile to my lips as a way of answering. What could I say? I didn't _want_  to become one, but there was nothing else left for me out there.

He patted my head and I resisted the urge to slap the thing away.

"Then we must see that you become exactly that. Behind me, as I'm sure you can see, are several ninja who are here to help you with processing. Each one of them will work with you one-on-one to see that your needs are met. Is that all right?"

The other children stared up at the several chuunin waiting behind the Hokage with wide, starry eyes. While I was curious about who I might be paired with, if anyone at all, the Hokage never let up on his grip on my head. Apparently, he had different plans for me. I knew not what.

He kneeled in front of me, eyes searching my face as he said, "Are you sure you desire to become a ninja? It is an arduous path."

Pfft, as if a five-year-old would know the meaning of 'arduous'. Who are you fooling, dude? And why ask only me this question? You're being suspicious as fuck.

"I must become a ninja," I answered simply.

There was no need for me to say anything else. What else could I say?

He seemed to be somewhat unsatisfied with my answer but let it go. The Hokage stood up and beckoned that I follow him. He went to one of the nuns, spoke a few soft words, and then asked me if there was anything I wanted to take with me. When I shook my head no, he bid that I follow him outside of the orphanage. He walked down the street away from the orphanage towards the Hokage Tower and I looked back to see the other kids talking animatedly with the various chuunin. A feeling of resentment swirled in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't even go through normal due process in becoming an academy student.

I'd considered myself quite lucky in my previous life, but this life had been filled with one disappointment after another. I was not particularly happy with my situation. And in addition to that, why were we going all the way to the tower? No, this did not bode well for me at all.

With how slow I walk, it took us half an hour to make it to the tower, up its many steps, and into the man's office. He left me to stand awkwardly in the middle of the room before leaving again. I stared at the closed door with a confused frown. I couldn't understand for the life of me why I was there.

Twenty minutes later, he came back in and moseyed over to his desk where he promptly sat down.

"Well, isn't this a joyous occasion?"

I stared at him with the most confused expression I could muster.

He smiled. "Unlike the others, I could not assign you a chuunin for temporary partner, due to your odd situation."

I gathered.

He seemed to lose his smile some as I continued to stay silent. "If it is truly your desire to become a ninja, I will not stand in your way. Rather, I appreciate your passion and interest in demonstrating your Will of Fire."

I'm sure there's a point somewhere here, but I'm not seeing it.

"Under normal circumstances, orphaned academy students would be set up with low-funded apartment housing that would be paid for by the village until you either became a genin or were sent back to the orphanage upon failure to achieve that status."

Yes, and the clincher would be...?

"It has come to my attention that you lost both your parents and brother through tragic means. What would you say if I told you that you have an older sister still alive? I wonder if you would even recall her? You were so young."

Ah. Ahhhh. I get it.

My lack of excitement seemed to take him by surprise. What could I say? Even if I were happy to realize my sister was indeed alive, I was far too resentful and bitter over what had taken place. If I hadn't gained my previous memories, well, that'd be something else entirely. I probably  _would_  be ecstatic to know someone from my family was still alive. But at the moment, I just couldn't care less.

A knock sounded at the door with a muffled, "Hokage-sama."

"Ah, that would be her now," the Hokage said before directing in a clear voice, "Enter."

The door swung open and, oh, yep, there she was.

Her purple hair was obvious with the lighting, and her caramel brown eyes never even glanced my way as she walked to the center of the room. She bowed her head before looking up.

"You called for me, Hokage-sama?"

I stared up at her, unsure of how to interpret my emotions. After the flood of memories coming back to me, I'd known that she was alive. I'd known, but I'd figured I just wouldn't see her again. After all, I was an oddity in this world. I wasn't even supposed to exist. Besides, I wasn't sure how to feel about her. She'd been mind-fucked in every possible way, and couldn't possibly be of sound mind at the moment. Plus, I don't think she even recalled her life prior to that entire ordeal.

"Have you become reacquainted with the village, Anko?"

Mitarashi Anko ducked her head down slightly with a small frown. "I will be fine, Hokage-sama."

The old man nodded his head thoughtfully before gesturing to me. "As you can see, I currently have another visitor here with me."

It was then that she turned her gaze upon me, eyes hard as steel and a her lips pressed tightly together. I think that if I had mentally been five-years-old, I might've been frightened of what I saw, though all I could honestly think was that no teenager should be able to look as weary as she did.

Every single part of this young woman was closed off to other people. Nothing in her expression suggested she was even human and she looked like she'd labored through hell. While I clearly remember in my mind and heart the young girl who had shown me nothing but kindness and felt like a warm balm on my – then – young soul, all I felt at the moment was a distinct coldness and unruly silence that pierced my heart like an arrow. I was torn between feeling terrible for her and feeling angry at her for leaving me behind.

I almost wanted to say she deserved every injustice she had been dealt for trusting that snake of a man, but knowing how much she had cared for me as a baby, I couldn't. I couldn't. I just couldn't, and damn it, I hated myself for it. I was an adult. I should've been able to ignore certain things to suit my immediate needs, but all I remembered was that soft, gentle smile she'd always given me.

I felt tears spring to my eyes, unbidden, and quickly turned away. What a terrible feeling.

I could feel her still watching me carefully, taking in my own appearance. While the purple hair might've given me away as a relation, my hazel-blue eyes would've tripped up anyone. There was no denying the family resemblance though. It was there, as denotable as ever.

"Hokage-sama?" she questioned, sounding unsure.

The Hokage leaned forward in his chair a bit, his hands clasped in front of him.

"Unless I'm mistaken, you have just recently been cleared for duty by the T&I, have you not?"

Anko slid her gaze down to look at me again before answering, "Yes, Hokage-sama. I am ready to receive whatever missions you would have me complete."

"Then, allow me to assign you your next mission, Anko."

The words had the young woman straightening up perceptibly and she promptly ignored me.

"Yes sir."

He spared me a wink, and I could barely repress the revulsion I felt from it.

"You are to, from this day forward until the day she is capable of taking care of herself, care for and protect this young woman. Consider this an A-Ranked mission."

To say Anko was stunned was something of an understatement, though I could hardly blame her. The old man made it sound so much more important than it actually was.

"Why is this child so important, Hokage-sama?"

"Her name is Mitarashi Hotaru, your younger sister. I'm sure you understand why you're really the only one capable of handling this task."

I was somewhat impressed that Anko hadn't flown into some kind of emotional rage or something. No, she just froze up completely, as if she couldn't process his words. Her eyes flashed back to look me up and down before slowly turning back to her boss.

"Me, Hokage-sama?" Her voice sounded so weak, and not at all reminiscent of the woman I'd seen in the manga and anime.

"Who else but you should take care of your family?"

"But, I..." She seemed to struggle to come up with the appropriate words. "Are you certain that I should...? I mean, my previous history..."

Hiruzen smiled softly at the flummoxed kunoichi. "You have lost your memories and every sense of your identity. Your sister has lost every part of structure she may have had with the loss of your family. You both have pieces of you that need healing, and sometimes, only time and family can accomplish that. Do you accept or reject the mission I have assigned you thusly?"

I chose not to meet her gaze when she sent me another quick glance. I could only imagine how troubled she was by her new plight. Were I her, I'd be incredibly hesitant as well. Unfortunately, with how shitty of a person I am, I probably would've told the child to survive on his or her own because living with me would be a terrible experience. If I had been mind-fucked as many times as Anko, that would've been even worse. No, I'd say no.

"I understand," Anko said hesitantly. "I accept."

I turned my gaze to her, narrowing my eyes with suspicion. What was she playing at? Was she seriously considering taking me on top of all of her other responsibilities? She'd be busy with mission after mission, and I'd become a part of the background like before. It made no sense for her to agree to something like this.

Part of me just wanted her to suffer some more on her own and not bring me into it further. But, then again, part of me just wanted that piece of familiarity back for selfish reasons. I wanted to have some semblance of a family again, instead of walking home to an empty, cold house like the day of the attack. In part, I never wanted to see her again, but then again, I felt like all I desired was just to see that wonderful, warm smile she'd given me that all those days ago.

Hell, I obviously didn't know what I wanted.

"Good," the Hokage said with some finality, interrupting my thought process. "I will give you a brief period of absence from other missions while you and Hotaru reacquaint yourselves with one another. Ensure that she is ready to begin school next month and that she understands what's to come in the future. My advice to you, Anko, is that you allow yourself some respite and to simply enjoy living. There is always time for doubting yourself later. For now, just try to live."

I saw her become slightly determined and she nodded slowly.

"Very well then. You are both dismissed."

Anko looked at me and seemed to hesitate again. Her hand twitched before tightening into a fist. Obviously, she wasn't sure where she stood with me, and while she wanted to try and display some kind of affection, she just didn't know  _how_.

I solved the issue by simply bowing my head to the old man, turning around, and leaving her standing awkwardly as I left the office. This was probably wrong of me, but damn it, I didn't know how to act around her either. To me, she was a fictional character. She didn't exist. She meant nothing. And yet, she meant everything. I remember the taste of her home-cooked meals, and the soft lull of her voice whenever she read my brother and I a story. I remember how excited she had been upon graduating from the academy only to become a student of  _the_  legendary Orochimaru. I remembered all of this, but I kept having conflicting thoughts.

Damn, maybe I was more fucked up than she was. This couldn't be a good idea.

When I heard the sound of the doors closing, I turned back to see Anko looking thoughtfully behind her. She turned to me and I saw a flash of concern and confusion show up in her expression before she quickly schooled her features. She and I stood looking at one another like that for a short while, the Hokage's secretary staring at us with a soft frown the entire time.

Anko turned away from me to clear her throat before making eye contact once again. Her lips were turned into an awkward, forced smile.

"Shall we then, Hotaru?"

Something in me plummeted upon hearing her say my name. I don't know what it was.

No, this wasn't a good idea at all.

"Sure."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.

The walk from the Hokage Tower down towards the shopping district was a long, quiet one. Anko couldn't move too quickly because I was five and incapable of running that fast for all that long a time. So, we maintained a pace I could keep up with without dying, though I could see her muscles tightening with each step we took through the military district. The second other shinobi saw her, their faces would darken bit by bit with their eyes following after with every step. Some shinobi would gather in twos and threes and stand on the side of the street, like enforcers guarding their land. Other shinobi had enough courage to shout out some obscenities, saying she should have stayed with her lover instead of coming back with her tail between her legs.

I'm sure that particular man had been from the Inuzuka clan.

None of them were dumb enough to overtly antagonize her physically, but with how overbearing their anger was, I found myself hard-pressed to stay calm. It felt like the air was a thick cloud of billowing anger, with crashing thunder and flashing lightning. It began to encircle me, pushing and prodding at my every weakness to the point that I started to have trouble breathing at times. Sometimes I would just suddenly forget that I needed to breathe to survive, so terrible was the horrible sensation. I felt like I was going to die from fear alone, yet I knew I wasn't. I knew I wasn't even the target, but I couldn't help how scared I became. These people were all accomplished killers. I was five. I didn't have a chance.

I was going to die.

I was going to die.

I'm dying.

Someone help me.

I –

A hand fell gently on my head and a feeling of serenity and tranquility suddenly swept over me, washing away the fear, and I found myself able to breathe again. My heart stopped pounding so hard and I was able to wipe away the sweat that had formed on my hands. Everything seemed so happy and shiny and like there were little kittens and butterflies everywhere in comparison to my previous hell. I smiled giddily and looked up at Anko who hadn't yet pulled away her hand, and just like that, I no longer felt like smiling.

Anko's face was shrouded in anger and a malice that I couldn't feel myself. Her cold, steely eyes focused on each ninja that had insulted her, though I got the feeling she wasn't mad at them for doing so. No, she didn't hate them. She would never hate her fellow villagers.

I felt a light bulb flicker on in my head and wanted to slap myself.

Killing intent. For the first time, I had felt the killing intent of a killer, and it felt every bit as hellacious as I feared it might. I honestly felt like I would plop down and die right there, but Anko had saved me from that humiliating ordeal. She wasn't particularly happy now though, which made me feel pretty crappy. She shifted her cold gaze to look at me, and the second she saw that I was no longer a shivering pile of ooze, her hand immediately retracted from my head. Anko looked ready to leave this district, and I couldn't say that I wasn't of the same opinion.

The both of us walked a little faster with me sticking as close to her as I possibly could without cramping her style. It was not beneath me to cower behind someone who was stronger than me. Actually, I would've been dumber to do anything otherwise, like relying on pride to see me through everything. There was a time and a place, and this was the time for cowering like a simpleton.

It wasn't until we hit the shopping district that Anko finally slowed her pace, and I was left breathing in and out like I'd run a marathon. Maybe I should have played that ninja game, if only to harden my constitution and increase my cardio a bit. Her glance back at me was fleeting and I could see that she was less than impressed.

Well, fuck you, too, woman.

We walked by one store after another until she finally directed me towards a particular clothing store. I think she knew the owner and that he wouldn't shunt her. As she opened the door for me to go in, I heard the sound of bells jingling to signal our entrance. I took one look up at the bells before turning my attention elsewhere. I turned back to look at Anko, but she just waved me on and took up a post at the register. I guess that meant she had little to no interest in helping me pick out clothes.

I don't even know why I was surprised. I should have expected as much.

Even if it did hurt somewhere deep inside of me.

I turned back around, taking in a deep breath as I set to accomplish my task as quickly as I could without wasting too much time. I looked up at each clothing rack I saw, my eyes passing over one article after another. There were a lot of fishnet shirts and skirts, though I couldn't say I was sold on them. Only certain people could pull off that kind of look. Of course, considering how well-endowed my mother had been and how beautiful Anko would be in the future, I knew I didn't have too much to concern myself over, but I still wasn't interested, so I passed them by without another glance back.

I came up to a different rack some ways down and looked at some of the simplest shirts I could find. They had high collars but were otherwise thin and looked easy enough to move in. The material felt kind of synthetic and I quickly found there were some reserved for cooler days and warmer days. Well, I was essentially buying a new wardrobe and so needed to make sure I had a few in reserve just in case something went awry, and in this world, something was always bound to.

I grabbed a few of both kinds, each shirt in darker hues to fit my personality. I had nothing against pink, but I didn't want to wear something that would hurt my eyes. Plus, ninjas were all about blending in, right?

I juggled the shirts onto one arm and zoomed straight for the vests that I saw. Vests usually had pockets and I loved pockets. I picked up the first black one that I found, though I wasn't sure what to make of the silver lining. I meant that literally, by the way. The vest had silver lining all up and down it, which was fine. I liked that color, too. I chose one more vest – this one had blue lining? – just in case, and ended up trying to toss them over my shoulder.

I felt like I was getting buried under clothing. I still had to buy a bunch of pants and I didn't think myself capable of carrying all of them, and –

The two vests vanished from my right hand, leaving me grasping at the air dumbly. I looked left and right with a tinge of confusion before looking up and behind me. Ah.

Anko stood a few paces away from me – how was she so fast, and why so far away? – holding the vests that had mysteriously disappeared from my hand. I continued to stare at her with slight frown, unsure of how to interpret her behavior. Had she tired of waiting for me and come to rush me along, or was she simply trying to ease my burden? After a few moments of more staring, she met my gaze with narrowed eyes as if to say "hurry up". At least, that's how I read the expression anyway.

Fine. I hadn't thought I'd been browsing for very long. It wasn't like I'd ever been in this kind of store before, and I wasn't the type to be too, too picky about clothing. I just didn't know when I'd have the opportunity to come back. I looked at the clothing left in my arms, gritted my teeth and walked towards her. One of her eyebrows rose as I neared, but I only shoved my remaining clothing at her before walking away. I didn't bother looking back to see her expression, though I'll bet that as long I hurried my ass along, she wouldn't have too much of a problem being my pack mule.

I marched over to the pants section, perusing as fast as I could and automatically reaching out to grab the few sets of cargo pants I could find. I didn't want to wear skin-tight outfits because, again, I wanted pockets. Plus, these had a chakra line embedded in halfway down the pants leg. I inspected the chakra line – I'd never seen one before. If I were to consider this logically, it probably necessitated that a person extract the chakra from the pants which would detach the lower part from the upper and voila, shorts. Conversely, a person would reattach it once again via imbuing chakra and it would seal just like that. It was convenient, and if I ever – please God, no – caught on fire, this would be an easy way to get rid of the problem and allow me a quick escape. Logically speaking, of course.

I felt Anko looming in again and anger swirled within me. I was moving as fast as I could.

I turned to glare back at her and she merely stared back at me, no other emotion present on her face. That struck a chord in me somewhere once again. All of sudden, Anko turned her gaze away, but before she could back up, I tossed the few pairs of pants I'd found at her and walked away. There was nothing more I needed in this store and I was determined not to spend any more time near that woman than necessary, so I left.

I was acting childishly, but I felt as if she had silently been judging me by my inability to choose in an efficient manner. I folded my arms over my chest and scowled, looking every bit the petulant child that I was.

If Anko had said in any way that we had a deadline, or that she wanted to hurry up... If she had vocalized that, I would have just grabbed any old shirt and pair of pants and beat a quick and hasty retreat out of the store. It's just...she never said a word. I didn't know what she wanted. I couldn't understand why she glared at me one moment and then looked at me blankly the next. I couldn't understand why she'd acted as if we had all the time in the world when we originally entered the store and then was suddenly on my heels halfway through my shopping spree.

I was more irritated because I just didn't know what was going on. I needed some form of communication, but she wasn't giving me any leeway whatsoever. It fell on me to figure things out, but I was, admittedly, somewhat terrified of what she would do if I demanded answers or questioned her intentions, so I stayed silent.

My shoulders slumped down some. I...I hated this. For some reason, I suppose I'd thought that somewhere along the way, we'd just forget that barrier between us and it would be smooth sailing or something. Or, at the very least, I thought she would at least start up some kind of communication, like asking how I felt about starting school, or how I felt about suddenly reuniting with family. I guess that's just what I'd hoped would happen. I really wanted this to work out, but once again, I felt as if this was just a bad idea and was getting worse with each passing second. We had so little in common anymore, and she'd been through so much. The best I could do would be to support her, but she was so prideful, I doubted that she would even accept any sympathy from me, no matter how well-intentioned it was. I wouldn't be able to blame her either if she chose not acknowledge anything from me. I wouldn't accept such an empty kindness from anyone else either.

Anko came out of the store with a large bag full of my clothing, and I turned around sullenly to take it from her hands, but she just walked away from me and down the street, leaving me looking like a fool. I could feel my face scrunch up in slight disappointment. I hadn't meant to anger her. I sighed again and followed after her into a shoe store.

I didn't care about the shoes – there was essentially only one type, and there was no way in hell I was going to attempt to fight in heels. I listlessly picked a couple pairs of black sandals and gently placed them on the counter. If Anko noticed any kind of change in me, she didn't make it obvious. I watched her pay for the sets of shoes, take the next bag in her hands, and then lead me out of the store.

We walked past a few more shops before she motioned for me to stop in front of one. She moved to walk into the shop and when I tried to follow, she gave me a glare that froze me in my tracks. I backed away unconsciously and she went in by herself. I turned around to look up and down the street, my hands in my pockets as I watched kids frolic in the streets, playing with their friends and siblings without a care in the world.

For a second, I was reminded of my brother, Aniki, and all of the times he would play with me as happily. I hadn't been able to do much other than to follow him, gurgling happily, but he still showed an infinite patience with me. He never judged me or anything. He was the epitome of family for me, with unconditional love, but now he was gone.

I shouldn't have been as sad as I was, what with having a living, breathing sibling only a few feet away from me, but at the moment, I felt like she couldn't be farther unless she traveled to a distant planet. We were estranged. I wasn't sure I had the willpower or ability to make us whole again.

I was again reminded of the temperate, kind older sister I had been blessed with. I couldn't get her out of my mind the contrast was mind-boggling for me. I dearly wanted to see her happy again, smiling without a care in the world.

Something cold slipped down around my neck, sharply bringing me out of musings. I refocused on the present and Anko who was kneeling down in front of me. Her eyes seemed to search my widened ones before she turned her gaze away, though she didn't move from her position before me.

I continued staring before palming the whatever she had put around my neck. There were a number of them and they seemed to hum with chakra and there was some kind of seal infused into them. I wasn't sure what to make of them. I looked blankly at her again for some kind of explanation, though I doubted she'd supply me with one so readily.

"They're chakra bombs," she murmured softly, her gaze still turned away. "If you push chakra into the seal and throw them, they'll explode with a diffusion of chakra."

My first thought was that that was kind of cool. My next was that I thought she was insane for giving a five year old explosives, but hey, they handles dangerous weapons on a normal basis, so why not? My last one just wondered why I was given it in the first place.

I stared at her questioningly, my head tilting to one side to belie my confusion, but she only stood up, choosing not to acknowledge me further. Her hand rested gently on my head for a few seconds.

"Happy birthday," was the only thing she said before walking away, and I was once again left standing in the middle of the street without an inkling of what to say or do.

I watched her walk away, feeling both happiness and guilt start to swell within me. I didn't know what to say, but I knew that if she hadn't turned around and walked away, I might have let a few tears escape my eyes. I bit down on my lower lip to keep it from trembling and forced myself to calm down. The necklace of chakra bombs slapped back against my chest.

With a deep intake of breath, I followed after her.

* * *

That night, Anko fixed supper for me and made nikujyaga. I don't know how she knew it was my favorite dish, or if she had somehow remembered that little detail, but I couldn't help but stare at the meal. My right had trembled beside my chopsticks as I looked down at it. It smelled just like how she used to make it when I had finally been able to eat whole food. The smell of soy sauce, a touch of sugar, caramelized onions, thinly sliced meat, the delicious taste of mirin... It was perfect.

I didn't want to eat it. I felt like if I tried to take a bite, it would suddenly disappear and I'd be forced to realize I had dreamt up everything – her return, living together with her, receiving a birthday present from her, everything.

She glanced up from her own meal, eyebrows knit together.

"Do you not like nikujyaga?" she asked softly, as if speaking any louder would disturb something.

"It's my favorite meal," I replied honestly, without emotion.

Neither one of us said anything after that and simply enjoyed our meal.

We were currently back at her  _new_  apartment after a long couple of days of shopping and moving items. She hadn't had any room for me at her previous apartment, so we'd had to seek out someplace new so I'd have a bedroom of my own as well. I think she'd been irritated because the previous landlord had demanded she pay for the full contract's worth. Anko's reply, though I hadn't been able to see it much to my disappointment, had been the thrust of a kunai before she'd gotten right in the guy's face and told him...something. I wish I'd heard. The guy was practically pissing his pants when we left.

He'd even allotted us a few of his men to help with the move. That was kind of him. I kind of wished she'd pushed him to actually going potty right then and there.

After moving all of her items, we'd had to go out and buy me a bed, and a desk, and a dresser, and any other little knickknacks I might've needed... It had been a pretty exhausting experience as far as I'd been concerned, though Anko had taken everything in stride. I think moving all the furniture helped ease some of her anger from dealing with the stupid landlord.

So now, we were eating what was our first official meal in her – our – new apartment. I looked around a bit as I ate. It didn't have much but the absolute necessities. A couch, a kitchen table, kitchen goods, a square carpet for resting on... It didn't feel homey yet, but more like someplace a person just goes to sleep and rest. It felt cold, but there was no reason to expect anything more than that. It was sufficient and I was satisfied. Maybe if I got some money, I'd buy her something to spice things up a bit. No doubt she'd absolutely love that. Please note the sarcasm here.

I was finished with my meal before I knew it, though I did look into the pan on the stove as I went to put my dish in the sink just to see if there was any left over. There wasn't. I was a little put out by this.

Anko gave me free reign to take a shower before her as she set to washing the dishes. I frowned a bit. That was something I wouldn't allow further – if she was going to cook, then I needed to be the one to clean. Hell, I should've been the one cleaning and cooking everything since she was paying for the apartment, but I wasn't going to push her for that tonight. I'd be a good, little girl and take my shower. We could argue or silently glare at each other later.

I didn't like the idea of taking a bath, so I never, ever filled the tub with water if I could manage it, but I had a feeling Anko needed to de-stress a bit after such an annoying day of carting around a kid everywhere. It took so much longer to do things with me around, I could tell, but I didn't have any control over that. There was little else she could do with me, and there hadn't been a single moment – even when she'd gone into the store alone, I'm sure – that I'd been away from her mindful eye or out of her range of protection. If nothing else, she took her job seriously.

Thinking back on it, I wonder if that had been why she had suddenly appeared behind me in the clothes store. The clothes racks had been taller than me, so she might not have seen me at all. It was worth consideration.

I finished filling the tub with hot water and covered it with the large piece of hard plastic to keep it nice and hot. I then quickly took my shower, washed my hair, and made sure my body was squeaky clean.

It felt good to have nice, hot running water again. The orphanage had made sure our basic needs were met, but it was never as blissful as this. I paused in washing my hair to think on that a bit more. Anko had made damn sure I was comfortable but never really invaded my personal bubble much unless absolutely necessary. I was starting to grow irritated with myself for my childish tantrum the day before, but I can't help but think she confuses the hell out of me.

It's taken me a full two days of constant watching to get a hang of her basic mannerisms, and I'm pretty sure she feels I'm just a client to deal with. But, I also sense some sort of confusion hanging about her. She didn't know what the hell to do with me. She didn't know where I stood, so she didn't know where to stand with me. It felt like Anko was tiptoeing around eggshells with me, and it annoyed me, because I was doing the exact same with her. I didn't know if she would somehow lash out at me or finally get fed up with me, so I never challenged. I never chose to speak to her. I was genuinely afraid of her.

I wasn't afraid of her because she had been Orochimaru's student, no. I was afraid because I didn't know what I would do if I had to face that sort of rejection from her. She hadn't pushed me away completely yet, but she hadn't accepted me yet either, so we were at a standstill. I was afraid that something would push that balance of whack in a bad way, and I was afraid I would be the one to do so.

Damn it, I've just been on one heck of an emotional rollercoaster lately.

I got out of the shower room, quickly drying myself off and putting on a t-shirt and shorts to wear to bed. After hitting the restroom, I walked back to the living room once more to say good-night but I stood stock-still when I saw Anko at the kitchen table, her head in her right hand. Her shoulders were slumped over slightly and if I was too be entirely honest, she looked completely worn down, tired, broken. She was a shell of her previous self, and she knew it well. She also knew that she could never go back to how she used to be – she was too broken.

All of this I took in as I saw her small form curled in on itself. My greeting died at my lips and looked down the ground. There was nothing I could say and I couldn't intrude on this personal moment.

I went straight to my room and got into bed as silently as I could.

The nightmares began that night.

I think that with everything that had happened to me and just with how slipshod my life at the orphanage had been, I'd never had time to really concentrate on what had occurred two years previously. I'd never been relaxed enough for my mind to just settle and bring to the forefront all of my fears and terrors. I had been stunned into silence and stark disbelief the night the Kyuubi had attacked, so much that I couldn't recall the attack whatsoever without feeling absolutely numb to it.

So, when I closed my eyes and was suddenly standing frozen as a toddler in the midst of all the destruction as the Kyuubi turned its fierce, malicious, evil gaze upon me, I didn't know what to do. I was once again three-years-old with no way of running away, or without the ability to protect myself. In the back of my mind, I could hear myself mutter something about this being similar to being caught in a Tsukuyomi, with my fears constantly plaguing me on an endless repeat. The Kyuubi would open its mouth and I could see the ball of black chakra form before it would shoot out in bullets straight at me.

Then, out of nowhere, my mother would jump in front of me and protect me as a bullet encompassed her and incinerated her. My terror grew as my brother came next, his will stronger than ever as he leapt in front of me, arms wide as he, too, fell to the beast. I knew the dream was pulling on older memories within my mind, as my father, to my surprise, suddenly appeared and tried to stave off the next attack. He never stood a chance as his body turned to ash and floated away.

Then, to my ultimate horror, I saw my sister, the nine-year-old Anko, standing stubbornly in front of me, silently supporting and shielding me. My mouth wouldn't move, nor would my fingers even twitch. It was as if I were frozen in place like an icicle, unable to affect any of the world around me. The nine-year-old Anko turned around slightly and I saw her smile softly, just as she always had. She then faded away just like everyone else. The ten- and eleven-year-old Anko came next, before the present fourteen-year-old one slid in front of me with soothing confidence and a will stronger than any other. She, too, never once moved away from me, silently meeting her fate without a complaint.

I think the thing that hurt me the most and made me scream for everything to stop was when she looked back at me and there was nothing to see. She had no expression to take mention of, nothing to say that she was scared or proud to do what she was doing. It was like she wasn't even there, not really. She was just a shell, doing what she was ordered.

I didn't want this.

I didn't want her to die.

I didn't want anyone to die.

_Why do you have to die?_

The dream continued on repeat on and on until it just as suddenly stopped, as if nothing had happened.

My eyes opened to the darkness of the night at that point, and my face was wet with the tears I cried as I'd dreamt. I could feel my entire body trembling with abject fear and my right hand raised to cover my face as I began to sob as quietly as I could.

I froze again, just like in my dream, when I felt something squeeze my left hand tightly before relaxing just as quickly. My eyes shifted to my side where Anko laid sleeping, her head resting on the bed and her hand gripping mine for support. She never opened her eyes – she was dead asleep, but her hand still gripped mine every time I shuddered involuntarily.

I looked at her through my tears and bit my bottom lip.

I hated showing her this weakness of mine. I hated being afraid. I hated having reasons to be afraid.

I turned my palm up and slowly, hesitatingly, enclosed my fingers around her hand. Her fingers automatically cupped around my hand tighter with a firm grip, though she never once awoke.

At first, I hadn't been sure if it had been a good idea to touch her, or whether it would have been better if I'd pulled out of her grasp. However, when I saw her taut expression smooth out and her breathing steady, I found myself looking up at the ceiling, my eyes closing slowly.

It wasn't much, but this would do for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

I stared into the mirror, squinting my eyes. Running a hand through my hair, I realized I hadn't cut it even once over the years and was determined to change that today. I didn't think I'd look very good with long hair, so it was with little remorse that I held up a pair of scissors in my hand, striking a pose as I readied them. Should I go for a cropped cut, or maybe a bob? I used to wear a bob in my previous life, but I don't think it would've looked good on me in my new body. Hm, I already looked like a boy as it was, what with having no boobs whatsoever, so why not make myself a little more adrogynous and go for a nice, short hairstyle? I was excited to try something new. This was the start of my new life after all.

The first week ended with every day much along the lines of the first two: get up, go somewhere with Anko to prep me for school, go out to eat for lunch, go somewhere else that was somehow important for my future, then finally go home, eat, relax, and go to bed. I hadn't thought I'd need  _so much stuff_ , but getting ready for school here was nearly the same as getting ready for school back in my world.

I needed scrolls, brushes, ink, a bag to carry everything in, school books bought from the school, a cuff that had the school's symbol on it for special occasions, a fancy academy suit for the entrance ceremony, a list of the year's curriculum plus a syllabus, a list of all of those attending. Anko also saw fit to buy me a set of practice shuriken, kunai, training exploding tags – instead of killing you, they simply caused a small first degree burn – and some training gloves. The gloves weren't particularly heavy duty, but I wasn't allowed to use them until I'd accustomed myself to throwing all my weapons.

Seeing that I'd "learnt" how to read at a fairly decent level – and damn straight I could read. I lived in Japan before somehow kicking the bucket, so I'd damn well better be able to read at a kindergartner's level – Anko also bought me scrolls and books detailing chakra theory, how it associated with one's body, and the basic understanding of how to execute the simplist jutsu: the kawarimi, henge, and bunshin techniques.

We'd bought so many things that I felt like I was drowning within all of the mess that had accumulated in my room. Besides that, Anko was all about preparation, which must have been a basic foundation to her personality, something she couldn't change. I appreciated her passion on the matter, but I'm pretty sure most of the things could have waited until later in the year. Well, I suppose buying them all at once would eliminate a need for a last-minute rush, so I guess it was okay.

I only had a few more days left before school started. The placement exam was today, and I wanted to make the best entrance possible. If that meant that for once in my life I needed to preen and prep myself accordingly, then so be it. This day would never come again.

I opened and closed the scissors a couple of times before lifting them to my hair.

I probably shouldn't have been surprised when my wrist was grasped firmly and the sharp tool taken away. I frowned and looked behind me at Anko who was now holding the object.

"You're still here?" I asked bluntly.

"I obviously am," came the reply. "What do you think you're doing?"

"As if you couldn't guess," I snarked. "I was about to cut my hair. Is that a problem?"

Anko just raised an eyebrow, still keeping the scissors out of my reach. I pressed in on her to try to get them back, but she just pushed a hand against my forehead, keeping me away with little effort. Her brown eyes looked first to the scissors before looking down at me. A sigh escaped her lips.

"Turn around."

I stared blankly at her. This was a first. She had never audibly indicated that she'd wanted to help me in any shape or form before, as if it was too difficult or too much of a pain. It was something of a surprise to see, but I wasn't going to turn her down when she'd managed the courage to offer her assistance.

I turned back around obediently, shivering slightly when her hand sifted through my hair gently. She tilted my head one way after another before inquiring,

"How short do you want it?"

Her expression was completely serious as she made eye contact with me through the mirror. I grinned.

"Make me look like the best looking boy possible."

Anko's eyes widened slightly before a fleeting smirk crossed her own face as she leaned in near me.

"With our genetics, that's hardly a challenge. Just give me a second."

She stood back up and I began to hear one snip after another as she began cutting off chunks of my hair. Her hands were light and painstakingly careful as she maneuvered around my head, eyes completely focused on her task. Anko blew off some hair from my shoulder and I involuntarily jumped, surprised at the puff of air that suddenly made contact with my skin. I glared at her reflection and saw another smirk make its way across her face before it disappeared just as quickly.

"I thought you started work today," I muttered, both happy and annoyed that I was the source of her amusement.

"In about twenty minutes," she replied distractedly. She was almost done with my hair.

I tried shifting my head a bit but Anko forced it back into position. "Ugh. Shouldn't you try to get there early on the first day?"

"A shunshin will get me there in two."

"Going for the grand entrance? I'll bet Morino-san will absolutely love that."

"Shut up."

I'm so glad we've graduated to the talking stage, even if neither of us had much to say on the matter. There were just some things we couldn't get done without conversing about, so we only dealt with topics that had little to no significance in the long run. I never asked questions about her personally, her time with Orochimaru, her memory, or anything that could be construed as personal territory. In return, she didn't ask me about our family, my plans or intentions, my chosen path for the future, or how I was too aware of my surroundings for a five-year-old. We had moved forward a few steps only to become stagnant once again. It wasn't a terrible stagnation, since we were at least talking, but we were still at a standstill. I suppose I should only feel so lucky that we managed that much.

The scissors drifted away from my head as Anko took a step back. I peered into the mirror, my eyebrows raised high as I looked at the new me. It wasn't anything too fancy. The hair on the sides and back of my head were cut as close to the scalp as Anko could manage, with the crown of my head having the most hair at all. I fluffed up the hair I had left over and asked her if she could cut it in a jagged, forward style.

The moment she did, I turned around and, suffice to say, lost myself and quickly wrapped my arms around her for a hug. I couldn't help it, and I wanted to show the joy I felt inside in a physical manner. I realized my mistake immediately when she grew rigid and pushed me away, expression slightly panicked before all emotion fled from her face. Without another word, she handed me back the pair of scissors and stiffly walked out of the bathroom. Not a word of good-bye was said as I heard the door of the apartment open and close with a sense of finality.

"Shit," I murmured, staring down at the scissors in my hand. There went a nice, family moment, all because I wanted a stupid hug.

I'd forgotten that I shouldn't have bothered.

I'd forgotten that I'd forgotten.

I clucked my tongue as I walked out of the bathroom and put the scissors inside the drawer of the end table near the couch. I did an about face to go to the closet down the hallway and take a broom out. I didn't have much time before I needed to be at the academy, but I wasn't going to leave this mess for later. If Anko happened to come back before I did for whatever reason and saw the mess, I wasn't sure what she would do to me. Maybe tie me to my bed and force me to starve for a day? There was no way for me to know for sure.

As I swept up all my hair – why had I had so much damn hair? – I thought about the previous few weeks. I'd grown used to having Anko around. The first couple of weeks, including the one where I'd first moved in with her, we didn't speak to one another at all. The apartment was always silent and somewhat cold. She would take over the kitchen table and use it to prepare for the new tasks she would be given with the T&I unit and then stay there for hours at a time each day. Aside from showing me what we'd be having for our meals and a quick glance here and there to make sure I wasn't destroying the expensive apartment, she never bothered to acknowledge me.

It was a given then, that when she was busy, I couldn't venture outside. As such, since she poured over her preparation from early in the morning to almost evening every single day, I never went outside. I might as well have continued to live at the orphanage – I still didn't have a clue of what the real Konoha looked like aside of the few districts and she and I went to for buying my supplies.

I didn't sit around doing nothing, though. If I was going to be stuck inside, I was going to study myself. I would go to my room and lay down one theory scroll after another, and just try to memorize the information written on each one. It oddly reminded me of the times I'd actually bothered to study for classes at the university, which was rare. This wasn't due solely to laziness and procrastination – I hadn't normally needed to. Linguistic classes are normally fairly easy, or so I'd like to argue.

There was one thing that I'd discovered for certain, and it was that these scrolls were not meant for five-year-olds to read. It had vocabulary that befit an older teenager or a younger adult, and the diagrams were at times difficult to wrap my head around. I often went to bed without food because my head hurt too much from focusing on difficult terminology in a different language.

I started in on the tutorials for how to find my chakra and start honing it properly after that. It was surprisingly simple thanks to looking at the theories behind it all. I wasn't climbing walls or anything, but I could easily bring the glowing energy to the forefront and let it pool haphazardly in my hands or just let it ooze out of my body wastefully. In any case, I couldn't count on anyone but myself to ensure that I understood what I was doing. Anko would never have attempted to help me at all, I was sure. At least, at the time, I'd be certain.

Unfortunately the first time she'd paid me any attention at all for the first time in weeks was when I nearly caused myself to blow up outside of our apartment in the street.

Last week, I'd finally gotten sick of staying inside all of the time. It wasn't due to needing to be free of my restraints under her watchful eye or anything, but an incessant need to do things on my own terms for once. When I'd told her that I planned to go outside to "train" my chakra, she only frowned with a slight glare. I could tell though, that she really wanted to stretch her limbs as well, but the mountain of homework in front of her wasn't going to go away until she tended to it, so she was officially stuck inside.

She muttered something about not drifting too far away from the apartment, and I'd taken that as permission to leave.

The moment I stepped out and the beautiful, brilliant sun's rays hit my face, I happily took in a deep breath of air. I hadn't realized how stuffy it was being stuck in an apartment for days on end. I wonder, now, if maybe that wasn't a type of training in itself, but I don't think I meant enough to Anko for her to bother with something as annoying as that.

I just sat at the bottom of the steps leading up to our apartment and focused inwardly on my chakra. I didn't have that much chakra to mold as a whole, but I took joy in trying to push all of my chakra to one part of my body and then another after another. It was easier to focus on a bigger area like my head, torso and my legs. I ended up losing control the second I tried to have the chakra flow to a specific area like just my hand or just my feet. After about three hours of doing this continuously, I sat back again the steps and took a breather.

I wasn't surprised to see Anko poke her head out to check up on me and make sure I wasn't getting into too much trouble. I fiddled with my necklace as I looked back up at her, the remnants of my chakra still humming around my hand. I was tired and wasn't paying any attention to what I was doing and couldn't understand why Anko's eyes suddenly widened incredibly and her lips parted as she began to shout something.

I remember my eyebrows raising from confusion as something blue began to shine dangerously from one of the pieces of my necklace. I didn't even have the time to shout out "fuck" as Anko appeared next to me in a flash, her hand grabbing at the chakra bomb I'd unwittingly unsealed and pitching it as high into the air away from us as she could. The bomb exploded not even half a second later, filling the brilliantly clear sky with a burst of blue energy that expanded until it reached a radius of approximately ten feet wide. The explosion was powerful enough to rip off some of the wooden shingle pieces on the roofs.

Anko continued to clutch me to her chest as I stared, shocked, at the remaining chakra left billowing angrily through the air. As it was a residential district, the chuunin, jounin, and ANBU appeared almost immediately.

"Oh, shit," I recall myself breathing out as I stared at the shimmering air.

"Oh, shit," Anko said more or less at the same time, her gaze on something else entirely.

I don't think our actual meaning behind those words had quite been the same.

My attention turned quickly to one of ANBU who had walked forward, his dog mask covering his face. He approached the two of us slowly but without any wasted energy whatsoever. Several chuunin took off after receiving directions from other ANBU, though the few jounin who had come stuck around, looking slightly concerned and glaring at Anko with some suspicion.

"You are aware that you set off an explosive within range of normal civilians, right?" the man I had then known for certain was Kakashi began. "This doesn't seem like your style, Mitarashi."

" _I'm_  the one who –" I tried to argue before Anko clapped a hand over my mouth.

I covered her hand with both of mine, trying to see if I could get her to let go without suffocating me. She squeezed my cheeks for a short moment, causing me some pain as a warning to not say a word before she let go, stood up, and stepped away from me. Anko looked down at me with an undecipherable expression before whispering harshly,

"Go back inside." Her tone left zero argument.

I hadn't intended to bother trying to counter her, but I suppose I'd hesitated for a mite too long because I saw her tense immediately and fix me with a terrible glare.

" _Now_."

I'd jumped up from where I'd been sitting, feet pounding against the steps as I dashed up and sped down the walkway until I reached the door that would lead to the inner corridor. I didn't stop running until I came to our apartment door and was safely inside. My heart pumped hard within my chest and I breathed in and out quickly not from the exertion, but from the fear of what was certain to come. I'd dreaded the upcoming confrontation. I knew nothing about it would be a happy family moment.

Remembering what had happened then made me shudder in the present. My grip on the broom trembled a bit. I went out into the hallway, quickly grabbing a dustpan and going back to collect all of the hairs I'd swept into a pile. Seconds later, I was pitching the pile into the nearest trash can, putting the broom and dustpan back.

I took a look at the clock on one of the walls in the living room, noting that I still had a few hours before Anko was due to come back home to feed me and before I had to be at the academy. I ran a hand through my incredibly short hair, a yawn escaping my lips. My mouth clacked closed as I shook my head to clear the cobwebs. I hadn't slept well the night before thanks to being too excited for the next step in my new life.

I fingered with the necklace around my neck again.

 _"What the hell is it about the word '_ bomb' _that you fucking don't understand?"_

Anko's words raced across my mind, making me stand straighter as fear struck through me. My hand dropped from the necklace like the piece of jewelry was on fire. I didn't want to remember what had happened. Most of the time, I could keep the thoughts out of my mind, but sometimes, when I was alone like I was now, they just came flying to the forefront without holding back at all.

_"Fuck, it's not like you're really –"_

No, stop it. Stop thinking about it.

My fists tightened and my shoulders tensed. I didn't want to remember. I didn't. I didn't. I wouldn't.

My eyes glanced back at the clock and I shakily took in a deep breath. I needed to sleep this away again. That was the only thing that worked lately. I could pretend in front of Anko all I liked, but I couldn't –

_"This was just a fucking waste of –"_

I walked out of the living room and headed straight for my room. I could feel my body starting to tremble again as I climbed onto the bed and laid on top of my sheets. I needed to forget. I had to. I had to.

I slowly set the alarm for my clock – there was no real guarantee that Anko would come back home on time anyway – and fell asleep.

* * *

"What the hell is it about the word ' _bomb_ ' that you don't fucking understand?"

She was really mad. No. She was beyond mad, I realized, falling back a step as she glowered down at me. For every step I backtracked, though, she matched me with one step forward.

"It was an accident," I tried to reason, the necklace trembling in my hands. "I'd forgotten to shut off the flow to my chakra and –"

"Do you even realize how many people live in this area alone?" Anko yelled, cutting me off without mercy. "You could have potentially killed dozens of people,  _including yourself_! I don't know what I was thinking, getting that for you! You obviously can't use it!"

I was starting to get angry now. "Of course I can't use it, damn it! I don't know anything about seals. I'm only five. What were you expecting from me?"

Anko gritted her teeth at my rebuttal, obviously aware that she'd probably expected a little too much. Truthfully, that was probably partially my fault. No normal five-year-old had the average vocabulary of an adult, or acted like one most of the time. I'd probably confused her more than anything else.

"Why were you even wearing it?" she bit out, growing more and more furious by the second. "It's supposed to be for when you are actually fighting or in danger of losing your life, not for being the cause of losing it."

I scoffed. "Well,  _pardon_   _me_  for wanting to wear the first and only birthday present I've ever received from anyone since... Since back then. Pardon me for wanting to display my gift happily. Pardon me for letting the damn thing mean something to me."

She rose a hand to massage her fingers against her temple, a short, quick breath escaping her lips as she closed her eyes.

"I just spent the better part of an hour trying to convince the ANBU that you weren't some homicidal maniac dressed up as a child. I have the Hokage breathing down my neck to take care of you just because we're 'family'. People are on my case just because my old teacher decided to go rogue and become an enemy of the village. There are civilians out there who are blindly placing blame on me for every misfortune that happens to them because of some unfortunate circumstance I couldn't control. I now need to write up a report detailing your habits and how I have related to you in the past couple of weeks."

Anko paused her rant to open her eyes and stare down at me. "And now, I have to deal with you personally making my life a living hell whenever I want to just go home and relax. I don't have any place to run, and I can thank you for that. So, thanks."

I could almost feel her hatred for me pouring off of her in waves. I'd honestly never known that she'd felt that way, and I'd thought we'd been getting along for the most part. I swallowed slowly, not knowing what to say to ease her pain. I glanced absently around me, my brain struggling to come up with a decent response, but it felt like the gears had ground to a halt. I didn't have anything to say.

"This was just a fucking waste of my time and money," Anko continued, no longer directly speaking to me, but just airing out the dirty laundry. "I haven't survived for this long just to get a mission like this and send it all scattering to hell. Shit, I'm better than this. I'm worth more than this."

The words hit me hard and I winced with each one as they slammed into my heart like piercing daggers. I could feel my thoughts taking off, but I was determined to see this through. I'd messed up. I got that. I didn't think it was entirely my fault, but I'd accept responsibility if it helped ease matters. I could do that. I was capable of that.

I lifted up the necklace slowly as if it were an olive branch.

"I'm sorry, Anko. I really am."

She slowly turned her gaze back to me, eyes shadowed with doubt, anger, annoyance, and several other emotions swirling around in a frenzy. Her eyes fell down upon the jewelry I held up for her to possibly take, if it so helped her. Her mouth slowly twisted into a sneer.

"Sorry?" she asked, voice low.

Her hand darted out, slapping the necklace out of my hands and sending it crashing into the baseboards under the cabinet doors in the kitchen. I stared at the present I'd received, looking at each chakra bomb as they rolled across the floor, scattered. Unsure of what I'd just witnessed until she grabbed my wrist and twisted my arm around until I fell to my knees, my arm pushed tightly against my back.

It hurt, though I tried not to cry out. She pushed down harder, pressing her short nails into my skin without caring at all. I grit my teeth tightly as she sighed.

"I don't know what I was thinking. I was stupid for trusting in something like this."

Her voice sounded so far away, or maybe I was just mentally creating a distance between us. I doubted it.

"Fuck, it's not like you're really family anyway. Just some stupid kid with the same name. Fuck this."

I lost my balance and fell against the carpet mat as soon as she released my hand.

I continued to lie there even as I heard the apartment door open and close, the lights flicking off as she left, leaving me shrouded in darkness. I laid my head against the softness of the carpet, feeling numb to what I'd just witnessed. My eyes caught the soft glint of the chakra bombs as the setting sun cast its rays into the apartment.

I think I stayed there until the sun finally set before I pushed myself off the ground with my good arm. I cradled my left wrist gently, standing up and walking over to bend down in front of a few of the bombs. The clasps had broken off many of them entirely, so I couldn't do much more than simply gather them together and place them neatly in a row on the kitchen table. I stared at the broken gift for a bit longer until I realized I needed to eat something. Anko obviously wasn't going to cook me anything.

I opened the refrigerator almost robotically, and pulled out the first container I saw. It was filled with some leftovers of something she'd cook previously, though I couldn't recall for the life of me what right then. I didn't even bother to warm it up and just set it on the table and methodically pushing out a chair and climbing into it. My eyes stared across the table blankly, though I made sure to place my hands together as I thanked whatever ethereal being above for my meal.

I ate slowly, mashing my food between my teeth mechanically. I'm sure I should've known something wasn't quite right when I realized I couldn't taste anything, but I continued eating. People should eat when they're hungry, after all.

When I finished, I pushed my chair back in, grabbed my stepstool and cleaned my dish slowly, carefully, painfully. I set the bowl gently onto the drying rack and then stepped down from my stool. My shoulders felt tight as I glanced around a bit before retreating to my room.

One article after another, I took off my clothes and folded them neatly, placing them on my bed. I then dug into the bottom drawer of my dresser to pull out the ratty clothes back from my orphanage days. It felt like it'd been forever since I'd last seen them, and yet, it had only been a little over a couple of weeks ago. Time really flew, didn't it?

After making sure everything was in its correct place, I walked out of my room wearing my old clothes. I felt like I could hear the echo of my footsteps as I walked across the floor with my ratty socks on. When I got to the main foyer, I looked down the new sandals that had been bought for me.

Ah, that's right. Anko had thrown away my old shoes.

My right arm started to tremble and I clapped a hand over it, my eyes still staring down at the shoes I would normally wear. The arm began to tremble a bit more uncontrollably and I squeezed it hard to make it cease.

Stop. Get over it.

Ignoring the shoes, I touched the concrete ground with my clothed feet and opened the apartment door quietly. No one was out in the corridor. That was fine.

I turned around and locked the door but then looked down at the key in my hand. What would I do with it now? I ended up just putting it through the mail slot on the door before turning away and walking down the hallway.

I found night had fully fallen once I'd gotten outside and there weren't very many people walking about. I think I took in all the details but I couldn't fully acknowledge them for some reason.

My left arm began trembling this time and I crossed my arms across my chest for good measure. Taking in a short breath, I began walking down the walkway and down the steps. I took one step after another away from the apartment, not really knowing where I was going but knowing I was going somewhere.

When I smelt the scrumptious smells of several restaurants, I realized I was a good twenty minutes away from home. I hadn't been so far away without an escort in what felt like forever. It was kind of nice being free.

_"Fuck, it's not like you're really family anyway."_

I felt my heart tighten as I walked and absently placed a hand against my chest. My eyes were starting to burn, too, and my throat felt parched, like I hadn't drunken anything for a week.

_"I'm worth more than this."_

I bit my lip and turned my burning eyes up to look around me. I hadn't been this far before, even with Anko around. This was new territory.

_"I was stupid for trusting in something like this."_

I found myself in the middle of a large, grassy area. It was far away from most of the "civilization" and seemed like a suitable place to hide away. I really did want to hide.

_"It's not like you're really family anyway."_

I didn't feel the wetness on my cheeks until I'd settled down against the trunk of a tree, hidden well behind some dense brush. My trembling hand reached up automatically to wipe the tears away.

I didn't know why I was crying. Anko had been right, of course – we weren't family, not in the truest sense. Yet, she was part of the only "family" I'd ever known in this world. It was a new experience for me, being rejected as I had. I didn't know how to deal with it.

In my past life, I'd had a fairly large family. No siblings, but I had plenty of cousins to make up for their absence, and a mother who loved me unconditionally.

I think it was a shock for me to be ousted as I had been by Anko. For me, family was something that you never turned away, even if you couldn't stand them. Even if you hated them, since they were family, and if they were ever in trouble, you would quit or relocate your job and uproot everything you know because you knew they needed your help. There wasn't anything to question, that was just what was done.

I didn't know how to feel about my current situation. I was in unknown territory. Was I supposed to cry, or just accept it as a thing that happened to most "normal" people? What was normal anyway?

My gaze turned up, although there wasn't much to see through the underbrush. Maybe I was just being contemplative.

I hadn't cried about something family-related for a long, long time. Rather, I don't think things really click for me until a significant amount of time has passed. When my grandmother died on Christmas Day, I'd cried almost immediately, but I didn't cry for my grandfather until nearly seven to eight years after his death. I think it took me that long to reconcile with the fact that there were certain traditions that just wouldn't be upheld without him, and grandma's loss had just been the piece of hay to break the elephant's back.

Was I supposed to cry because I'd lost Anko, although I'd never really had her? Maybe I was just looking too far into it all.

I was dizzy and fell down to lie on the grass. The intervals between my breathing was beginning to shorten bit by bit, though at least I had stopped crying. Maybe I'd been dehydrated, because not many tears had fallen, or maybe I was just in shock because of what I'd experienced.

I closed my eyes as my body fell slack.

I swear though that I'd only had them closed for a few minutes. Or maybe a few hours as I fell into a deep sleep. I swear that it hadn't been that long and that I'd wake up to the blazing sun and have to search for a new hiding spot, just to keep things interesting. Anko wouldn't be very happy with me when she finally found me, after all.

I swear on my life that I'd meant to only take a small nap, but when I opened my eyes again, it was the intermittent beeping that put me on immediate alert. As my pulse shot up, I heard the beeping start to quicken, and I hastily stared all around me.

White. White. White. And more white. A smell of disinfectant. A soft bed beneath my back with a set of covers hiding my body away.

The hospital. I was in the hospital. Did I just...die for a short time? What about the placement exam? What about starting academy? Or, was I back in my original life, having woken up from a coma?

I pushed myself up quickly, the wet towel on my forehead flying off as something clacked against my chest. I swallowed and grabbed a fistful of whatever was around my neck before taking a really good look at it.

My chakra bomb necklace. But, I could've sworn...

_Her hand darted out, slapping the necklace out of my hands and sending it crashing into the baseboards under the cabinet doors in the kitchen._

It had been broken. I swear it had.

_I couldn't do much more than simply gather them together and place them neatly in a row on the kitchen table._

My hand fell down onto my lap. I didn't understand. What had just happened?

I felt something, or someone, watching me, and warily turned my gaze to my right to confront whoever, or whatever it was.

Anko rested on a stool with her back to the wall, her eyes shadowed as their brown depths made eye contact with me. I didn't see whatever expression she made, but only saw the emptiness swimming around and trying to surround me. I felt my guard instantly rise.

_"It's not like you're really family anyway."_

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Get over it.

Anko's expression, looking so tired and troubled, softened slightly as she regarded me.

"Hey," she murmured in greeting, leaving me dumbfounded.

I stayed silent. The last time I'd seen her had been traumatizing to the point where I wasn't sure I wanted to say anything at all. I backed away when she sat up fully, leaning in towards me. My reflexive movement caused her pause, and she slowly reached out for my hand, as if reaching out to a cowering animal.

_She grabbed my wrist and twisted my arm around until I fell to my knees, my arm pushed tightly against my back._

I pulled my hand out of her reach, my body automatically shifting to the other side of the bed.

I was scared shitless. I was just waiting for the ball to drop.

Anko stopped, her hand freezing in the air before retreating and weakly resting on her knee. I saw her bite her lip and then bow her head slowly, almost as if she were yielding herself to me. My heart began to pump harder and faster. What was the catch? What was she going to do now?

"I'm sorry."

The words tumbled out of her mouth awkwardly and I could feel my body grow rigid. She was...what?

"I know it wasn't your fault," Anko confessed, her voice barely louder than a whisper. "I was scared. Both for you and what such an event might mean for your future, and for what it meant for me to frightened in the first place. I took out that fear on you."

I continued to stay silent. What was she doing?

The muscles in my back tightened up like a cat when I saw something silvery trail down her cheek. My eyes widened as the tear made its way to her chin and then pooled without dropping. Her fingers dug into the skin of her knees, her teeth biting into her bottom lip as she struggled for control.

"I'd only meant to take a breather for a few hours. Regardless of what happens, it is my duty to protect you."

Ah, that was a nice neutral word, "duty". I think that, more than anything else, helped me to relax. She wasn't trying to act as if everything had been a complete accident or mistake. She was just upset that she had failed in her duty. I could understand that. I could respect that.

"I never would have left if I'd known that..." Anko paused, her mouth tightening. "I'd never meant to... I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I placated her, much to my own surprise, and hers, apparently. "You needed time to deal with your thoughts and feelings. It's fine."

Anko reeled back slightly, looking stunned. "What are you talking about? If I hadn't found you when I did, you could've been –"

"Sure, I could have," I answered automatically, slowly growing able to detach myself from my feelings again. "But, I didn't. So, let's forget about it."

Anko looked as if she wanted to argue, but I turned away, refusing to continue the conversation.

Some things were just better left alone.

* * *

I finished washing the dishes after Anko had left to go back to work. I hugged my arms around my body, relishing in the warmth and the security only I could provide for myself. It was best not to expect too much.

Walking out of the apartment after putting on my shiny, new vest, I made sure to lock the door and then place my key on the small key ring attached to the edge of my hip pocket. My wonderful new sandals clacked against the wooden floor until I reached the door leading back outside. It was a sunny day today, too, though I had no intention of blowing myself up this time. I still wore my necklace proudly, but my hands were moving anywhere near it unless I fully intended to blow someone or something up. I'd learnt my lesson. No more recklessness.

For now.

At the top of the steps at the end of the outer walkway, I stood still and concentrated inwardly on my flowing chakra. I cupped my right hand over my left fist in front of me, eyebrows narrowing as I focused. It was hardly a seal in any manner of speaking, but helped me line up my thoughts more quickly. I felt the chakra flow slowly down my legs, ebbing and waving as I tried to control them more exactly.

My breath whispered out of my mouth as I let my hands fall to sides. This "technique" was the one and only thing Anko had ever taught me since she had been tired of walking everywhere with me like a normal civilian. I bent down close the ground, a smirk on my face as I expelled chakra from the bottom of my feet and jumped at the same time. Like each of the few times I'd done this before, I leapt high into the air, flying over the street and landing on the roof of the building on the opposite side without too much trouble. I always exerted a ton of effort to do this higher level ability but it was worth it to see all of the people below me, walking without any other alternative available to them.

I turned away from the crowd milling about on the streets, my shoulders straightening as I bent down and then leapt forward again.

At times like this, it was nice to have superpowers.


	4. Chapter 4

I was not particularly pleased when I slowly made my way home after hours of both physical and mental testing at the academy. The first few hours dealt with all manners of various tests and quizzes pertaining to information I hadn't touched since leaving high school, and perhaps university, even. Whereas my math and science scores had not altogether high or noteworthy, I could certify for certain that I'd passed geography, history, a varied portions of the Elemental Nations' political schemes and people, as well as a number of other core subjects. Academic education was something I could definitely do – it only required reading comprehension, writing ability, and decent memory faculties.

The physical portion, however, did not go as well as I had hoped. Of course, this can solely be blamed on me for being a pathetic child and not playing outside like a normal person. I'd never used my muscles enough to develop the balance and endurance necessary to race against other kids in tests of agility and speed. Now, my scores hadn't exactly been abysmal, but I wouldn't be seen as some sort of genius anytime soon.

My jutsu skills were also  _highly_  lacking. Since I had actually attempted to train my basic ninjutsu skills, I was somewhat okay on that front, for an average five-year-old, that is. I wasn't going to be defeating Orochimaru anytime soon to avenge my sister's honor or anything like that, but I was on par with the other clan kids as far as everything went. I could bumble my way through taijutsu, though, let's not kid ourselves, here. I sucked. I  _really_  sucked, and the instructor had hardly been impressed with whatever random karate movements I'd pulled out of my ass.

Genjutsu though, man.  _Genjutsu._  Why did a skill like that even have to exist? I do not notice my surroundings all that well – I'm one of those people who won't notice someone ever got a haircut until someone else pointed it out. What do I care if they changed a part of themselves? I could walk down a street and suddenly see a building, and wonder if it had always been there or if I had just missed something. Fucking genjutsu killed me. I have no mental barriers erected to block something like that, and I'm sure that if anything is going to kill me one day in this godforsaken universe, it will be genjutsu. Ninjutsu? Nah, there's always a counter to that. Taijutsu? I have a decent tolerance for pain. Genjutsu? You can fuck the hell off with that mess right there.

I trudged past the food district, my mouth watering as I smelled the wonderful aromas swirling all around me. I really could have done with some good ole takeout, but why spend the money on a one-time thing when we had food at home that could potentially stretch for several meals? Don't get me wrong – I was very happy that Anko took the time to always cook for me. At times, I would wonder where she learned to cook, and if Orochimaru had somehow taught her. Then I would get an image of Orochimaru in a pink, frilly apron and oven mitts on his hands and whatever normal thoughts I had would fly out of my mind.

Anyway, I was happy and very privileged to have her cook for me every day, but I wanted something different every now and then, you know? I wanted to try an Akimichi dish. I mean, in the manga, they alluded to the Akimichi meals being amazingly delicious, and with how many restaurants there are in the Akimichi district alone, I can only imagine the savory, delectable food one could eat there. I needed to make an Akimichi friend, or something.

I sighed at my state of poorness, wishing I had some sort of income coming in to treat myself to something or another. My hands slipped into my pockets as I began to walk again, my eyes focusing on the ground instead of at each food stall I passed. I could be as tempted as I wanted to eat at one of those places, but without the funds to cover me, that temptation was nothing but a menace.

I finally made it to our apartment door about ten minutes later, my hand resting heavily on the knob.

I didn't want to go in.

These past few weeks had been trying, very trying. Anko wasn't the only one without a secret place to retreat to for recharging. I was kind of jealous of her, since while she did have to watch me, she also had the fortunate advantage of being old enough to go anywhere in the village on her own. I might be entering the academy soon, but even ninja were wary of letting a child dillydally about without someone to watch over them. Oh sure, I  _could_  run off somewhere on my own, but after landing in the hospital from the last time I chose to run away, I doubted Anko would take my attempt at freedom all that well.

As my hand twisted the knob and I opened the door, I found myself wondering just what had happened that night. I'd essentially told Anko I hadn't wanted to discuss it, that some things were better left alone, but inside of me, I still wondered. How did I go from resting in some bushes to being in the hospital? Obviously, someone had found me and I'd been hospitalized, but how did Anko fit into that? Had she been the one to find me? Why was I in any state to be hospitalized in the first place?

I had questions, and I wanted to know, but at the same time, I didn't want to open that can of worms. What if knowing led to another disastrous argument with Anko? What if she really lost her temper this time? What if she found me as collateral and decided to eff her mission and take me out? It would be so easy for her. All she would have to do is slice my throat when I was asleep, or shunshin behind me and take me out that way. If I didn't watch myself, I would potentially be stepping on landmines no matter where I stood with her. It was exhausting.

I didn't want to go in.

When I took a tentative few steps into the foray and close the door behind me, I found the lights still turned off and the room covered in a blanket of darkness, save for the moonlight shining in through the windows. I looked around with my eyes before closing them and trying to listen for any sign of movement within the apartment. I didn't hear anything, though that didn't necessarily mean anything. Anko was a silent sleeper – she didn't snore, didn't make a single peep. If she was asleep though, waking her was the last thing I ever wanted to do. She was not a morning person, and always woke up grouchy – not that I blamed her at all. I could only imagine what she'd contended with under Orochimaru's tutelage. Waking up could not have been all that fun an ordeal with him.

I shuffled through the house as silently as I could – learning how to walk silently was definitely difficult, and I just didn't have the chakra control fine-tuned enough for that yet.

I, as slowly and gently as I could, twisted open the doorknob and opened the door leading to Anko's room. I peered around inside, quickly judging that she was nowhere in sight. My head tilted a fraction to the left – she should have been by now. Maybe the bathroom? Or, God forbid, my bedroom?

When neither place showed her being there, I paused in the middle of the living room, feeling my body began to lose every string of tension that had built up over the day. She wasn't home. I was home alone. I didn't have to attempt to act like there was nothing wrong with me, nor did I have to pretend to be someone I wasn't for Anko's sake. I could just be me.

My body fell to the carpet mat as I stared up at the ceiling.

How long had it been since I had been free to be myself, without worry of other people finding me odd or strange? Up until I was three, I had been together with the last of my family, playing the act of a toddler. No, not playing – I truly hadn't known anything about who I really was at the time. In a way, I had been Hotaru, not the person from another universe and time. But now, I was Hotaru with the mind of a twenty-seven-year-old adult. For the past two years, I'd been surrounded by orphaned children, kids who hadn't grown up mentally or physically yet. They were prone to emotional outbursts, and questioned everything about the world. That just wasn't me anymore, but I'd had to feign that curiosity. Nothing went well when a child simply accepted the world around them as a truth, and not an indicator of something better and greater.

My wish for reclusiveness had been granted, but now that I was alone, I didn't know what to do. Did I read? Did I study? Did I train? What had I done before dying the first time? I'd played games, gone out with friends, read things online, gone to work, tried to be an adult, although I just couldn't adult well. That had been the 'me' then, but the 'me' now was entirely different. I lived a different life, had different goals, different opportunities, and knew different people. I had different restraints to focus on, different wrongs to right, and different passions altogether. I was new. I was an enigma.

I had no idea who I was anymore, nor who I was trying or intending to be. It was...strange, and yet, invigorating. Instead of chasing a past that no longer was, I had a completely unpaved future waiting for me to carve into it.

I sat up from where I lay, my eyes gazing down at my hands. I also had a sister who had gone through a difficult time and was hurting very much inside. I don't know for what purpose I had been reborn in this universe, but there had to be a reason I retained all of my previous knowledge and supposed maturity. Anko was, by all rights, still a child in her heart. She was a child trying to live as an adult and support another person while dealing with her past traumatic events and a sense of an amnesiac past. She didn't know who she was either. It would be selfish of me to assume I could guide her along the right path, but if I could somehow support her...

Yes, I could support her – so long as she didn't try to kill me. Then, I swear, no matter how fucking strong she was, I was going to kick her ass somehow.

All right. I had a plan that revolved around supporting the fourteen-year-old sibling of mine. Until I was of genin level though, there was nothing I could do as far as finances were concerned, or seeing eye-to-eye with her in that manner. I could do other things though.

She was obviously late due to her job, and I doubted she'd be in any mood to cook something as soon as she got home. Hell, I could cook. My particular dishes didn't range very far and they weren't very diverse as a whole, but I could whip something together that was both simple and tasty to eat.

I jumped up from spot on the floor, went and tossed my vest onto my bed, and shuffled back into the kitchen while cracking my knuckles. I threw the fridge door open with flourish, my eyes quickly falling on the empty state of our wonderful refrigerator. Aside from a couple of mushrooms, and an onion, we had literally nothing in there.  _Nothing_.

Had she known that and gone shopping? Did we at least have bread? A quick check led me to an answer of no. No milk, no cheese, no meat, no other forms of vegetables... I couldn't make anything at all. I screwed up my mouth into a frown. The grocery store would shut down soon, like within the next half hour. Even if I wanted to buy something, I didn't have any money.

I winced as my stomach growled slightly. No money for food, no one to rely on, nothing else to do...

I went back into my room, put my jacket  _back_  on, and left the apartment again.

I was still tired, but hunger was a powerful motivator. I didn't know precisely where my older sister was, but my best guess was to try T&I to see where if she was still there or not. If not, I could ask someone when she'd left and go from there.

Chakra slowly flowed into my legs as I jumped on the railing before blasting from there onto the opposite roof. I landed strangely and had to roll across the roof to keep from hurting myself somehow. As soon as I was balanced, I turned in the direction of the administration building, its bright lights a beacon for all to see and recognize. I rocked back a bit before dashing across the roof and jumping onto another one across the street before jumping onto another one, and another, and another. When I had momentum on my side, running across the roofs was probably similar to hurdles on a track – momentum and velocity made things much easier than working from a standstill, but just as with all things, stopping was not my forte.

On the last roof, I slipped and fell while trying to find a way to stop and promptly bounced off the roof and fell down hard onto the ground below. I stared, almost shocked, at the moonlit sky above me as I tried to figure out where I'd gone wrong. I'd misstepped when going to the academy too, though I'd just rolled to the ground without receiving any major injuries. I now had a definite request for Anko when she had some free time: teach me how to stop.

Various adults popped up around me – all shinobi, for that matter – asking if I was all right, though I just waved them off. I wasn't dead, nothing was broken, and I didn't know them at all. I was fine, all things considered.

I asked someone for directions to T&I, and instead found myself fielding questions on why I was alone and where my family was and other such ridiculous questions.

"You mean the Torture and Investigation unit?" someone asked from behind me.

I turned around and was suddenly staring at a tall blond man with pupil-less blue eyes. His arms were crossed across his chest, and I suppose he found it somewhat odd that a child my apparent age would be asking around for a place as dangerous as T&I. I tilted my head at his high ponytail and the long hair flowing down from it. I should know this person, but my memory was failing me.

"Yes, that's right," I replied with a clear voice. "I'd like to know the way there."

"Now, what's a little girl like you doing searching for a place like that so late at night?" the man asked kindly, seemingly almost amuse by the small smile on his face. "That's not a place for a child to be."

Huh, well, if he wasn't going to tell me, I'd just search for it on my own. Maybe if I flared my chakra a few times, Anko would get the point and wonder what was going on. I wondered if she even had a lock on my chakra signature by this point. I turned away from the blond man without answering his question, and flinched when he gently grabbed me by my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks.

"Let go!" I yelled out, shrugging out of his grasp and backing up a few steps.

I felt my pulse began to ace automatically from his innocent gesture and saw the alarm register on his face from my reaction. For a moment, I saw a flash of brown eyes and purple hair leering down at me and I took another couple of steps back involuntarily.

Crap, crap, crap. Calm down, calm down,  _calm down_. He isn't her, he isn't her.  _Calm down!_

I tried to adopt an emotionless expression, but the damage had already been done. He was now looking down at me with an unreadable expression. I saw a muscle in his jaw twitch slightly before he forced a small smile on his face. He held up his hands in a placating manner and kept his distance.

"I'm sorry. I scared you, didn't I?" he asked in a light tone, betraying none of the emotion he'd let slip just seconds before. "I'll take you there, but would you mind telling me why you want to go there?"

I hesitated, before softly saying, "My sister works there, I think."

The man's eyes widened before quickly sharpening as he took a good look at me. "Your sister? Ah, are you related to Mitarashi Anko?"

"The one and only."

"Ah," was the only word he offered me at the confession.

He seemed somewhat troubled, and I continued wondering exactly who he was. He knew Anko for whatever reason, but practically everyone in the village knew of her somehow at this point. It wasn't too much to assume that she was rather infamous within the village through no fault of her own. I could almost feel him making assumptions and connections to her and my previous unnecessary reaction. The man didn't look happy in the least, but he still granted me a nice smile regardless.

"My apologies," the man said, crouching down to look at me eye-to-eye. "I never told you my name, did I? I'm Yamanaka Inoichi – I work together with your sister. Perhaps we'll be seeing more of each other in the future."

Oh, great. That's who he was – a freaking Yamanaka. I honestly didn't want to be anywhere near a Yamanaka. The very thought that they could use some kind of technique to enter the barriers leading to my mind and see every single secret hidden inside filled me a cold dread. I wanted nothing to do with him.

I didn't respond to his subtle suggestion and only stared at him. He held out a hand towards me as a nice gesture, but I just stared at it before staring back up at him. After a few seconds, he lamely let his hand drop and continued smiling at me. The guy was incredibly kind – I'd give him that. But then again, psychologists had to be kind to get into patients' minds, didn't they? That was a normal thing, but it might have been genuine for him, at least. I had no way of knowing.

He eventually stood, gesturing toward the large building in front of us. "Come, it's this way."

I watched his every movement as he walked ahead of me, though to my untrained eye, he seemed to be walking as normally as ever. There was no hitch in his step, no obvious tightening of his shoulders, nothing that screamed anything was wrong with him from normal. In seeing this, I felt myself slowly relax. If nothing seemed conspicuously wrong, then perhaps I was just overreaching with my thoughts.

Inoichi led me deep into the admin building until we heading down a dark tunnel of stairs that opened up into a spacious underground area lined with bookshelves, desks, and papers galore. There was a large steel door on the opposite end that I supposed led to the prison cells. When I walked into the room, I was taken aback by how amazingly large it was, and I guess I was surprised, too, by the number of people that worked in the unit. There had to a staff of at least thirty people here, but considering how late it was, I could bet that there were definitely more aligned with this line of work.

I caught the telltale purple hair of Anko almost immediately, but as soon as I made as if to go to her, Inoichi quickly stepped into my path, blocking her from my vision. He held a hand down, palm towards me, as if to ask me to wait before I tried to talk to her. I was not pleased by this action, but any attempt to move around him only yielded in him blocking my way again and again, so I just gave up and turned my gaze away while placing my hands in my pockets.

"Anko-kun," Inoichi called out.

"Yamanaka-san?" I heard her reply with some curiosity. "I thought you were heading home."

"I got a little sidetracked along the way. Ah, and I have something for you."

He stepped aside and I saw Anko's gaze zero in on me. Her eyes first widened before she flicked a quick glance at the clock and narrowed her eyes a bit. She looked back at me with a frown and held up a hand.

"I was supposed to be home by now to cook, right?" she asked without pretense, her eyes shifting to look at the paperwork in front of her. "Just hold on a second. Give me fifteen minutes to finish up."

I shrugged – I was in no real hurry at this point, and I was hardly a stranger to waiting for relatives to finish up a massive amount of paperwork. I nodded at her and she sat back down and busily tried to complete all whatever she had to do, so I gave Inoichi a glance. The look on his face made me freeze.

He was not happy at what had just occurred, but I couldn't see anything wrong with what she'd said. One couldn't compare Anko and I to a normal family – we were hardly anything but normal, after all. Hell, she could've given me ten or twenty ryou to go buy food for all I cared and I would've gone about my way to one of the many shops along the way. I didn't care. Work was important.

"Anko-kun, how about leaving that for tomorrow?" Inoichi suggested in a way that obviously indicated it was anything but.

Anko looked back at him with some confusion, and seemed loathe to leave things undone. I admired that about her – she wasn't quite a workaholic, but she was obviously devoted to what she did and took it very seriously. I respected people who could become so involved in a project at work that they would lose all track of time. People who could value their work so much like that were okay by me.

"I can wait," I tried protesting but Inoichi just gave me this  _look_ , as if to stay silent and not butt in.

Anko hesitated to some small degree. "Is there something wrong, Yamanaka-san?"

"You've been at this all day, Anko-kun. I'd say it's high time to take a break."

"But I –"

Inoichi smiled more. "I'm sure you agree, of course."

I was looking at Inoichi the entire time, the same as Anko, but whatever she saw made me freeze at her desk and pale significantly. I looked between her expression and Inoichi's a few times, trying to figure out what exactly I'd missed. He only gave me a kind smile, but one could hardly expect me to accept that after my sister, Orochimaru's apprentice, paled to a degree like that. Whatever he'd done or left unsaid had bothered her greatly. I was not okay with this, but it wasn't like I could do anything about it.

She stood up swiftly, work momentarily forgotten. Her eyes met mine, though I couldn't read the emotion swirling within their depths. She cleared her throat and bowed, informing everyone she'd be leaving early as a respectful gesture to those who had to stay late. There hadn't been a single person in the room who hadn't been paying some attention to our conversation, but they all bid her a good night and said they'd see her in the morning. She threw on her jacket and came over to me, but not without giving Inoichi a respectful bow. He maintained his smile and motioned to the door.

Anko went out first with me following quickly behind, and Inoichi taking up the rear. As soon as we were outside of the admin building, he waved at the two of us and bid us a good night, saying he had a family to get home to. For some reason, he'd decided to emphasize the word "family", a fact of which escaped neither of us.

Anko's eyebrows knotted together as she frowned, her arms crossing across her chest. She sighed.

"You're hungry, I take it?"

"Kind of, yeah," I answered, trying to look as standoffish and laidback as she did. I didn't manage it as well.

Anko ran a hand through her thick hair, her expression troubled. She was obviously exhausted – meh, I could go to bed without eating tonight. I've done it before.

She looked down at me. "I'm kind of tired. You up for eating out tonight?"

Oh, oh, oh! We were eating out today? Oh, hell yes!

I grabbed at her coat in my excitement. "Can we eat at an Akimichi restaurant?"

"Akimichi?" She looked bewildered. "I guess, but which one? There must be at least twenty of them."

"Something with a lot of meat!"

"Well, that narrows it down," she replied sarcastically. "Fine, I know of a place."

She nodded her head at the roof above us, silently asking me if I was okay to take to the roofs. I wasn't exactly brimming with chakra anymore, but if we walked the way back, I could manage this much. I chose to answer her by flooding my legs with chakra for the third time today, and she nodded approvingly before vanishing from my sight. I turned quickly to see her already on the rooftop, waiting for me. She waved for me to come up and I let out a short breath. Damn, she was fast.

I leapt onto the roof, falling to a knee as soon as I landed. She waited patiently while I stood up before dashing off in the direction of the food district. I was a little slower on the uptake and struggled to stay anywhere near her, although she was obviously not moving as fast as she could for my benefit. About five minutes later, and as I was becoming increasingly exhausted, she stopped at the edge of one of the roofs to look down at the bustling district below. As with both times before, I had no idea how to come to a nice clean stop. I ended up skidding past her and off the roof. Only her hand reaching out to grab the collar of my vest and shirt kept me from making a messy landing.

She frowned at me with some consternation.

"You never taught me how to stop," I muttered.

"S'pose not," she agreed, before wrapping her arm around my waist as she jumped down to the street.

She set me down gently and gesture her thumb at the restaurant we'd landed in front of. The smell of barbeque immediately got my saliva glands working, and I could almost taste the amazing meat that would be available for eating.

"It's not traditionally Akimichi, but a lot of them tend to visit," Anko explained as we walked in.

I guess I looked disappointed because she quickly said, "There was no time to get permission to enter their district. This is going to have to do."

Whatever. There was meat to be eaten.

"I'll deal," I said with no small amount of happiness as we were welcomed into the restaurant. "I want the most expensive meat then."

"I'm not spending more than four hundred ryou at this place," Anko said, shutting me down immediately.

"Damn it."


	5. Chapter 5

It was the night right before my first day of school that an instructor from the academy paid a visit to our apartment. Anko had been doing...whatever it was she normally did in the living room, and I was reading some scroll about genjutsu and how it obstructed mental synapses and allowed for a quick insertion of false information to display a scenario that would somehow trick the brain into thinking something was real. It was about as a dry a text as reading the dictionary. Fuck genjutsu, man.

The second I heard a knock at the door, I tossed the scroll back onto my desk, eager for any distraction that would grant me a reprieve. I walked out of my room and stood at the doorway leading to the living room, watching as Anko let in a young man wearing a flak jacket. She gave me a glance as if to ask what I'd done now and I just shrugged back, keeping my eye on the visitor.

He was good looking, I suppose, in a boyish kind of way. I couldn't recall seeing him during the actual event of the practical and academic exams, but he might have just been someone who worked behind the scenes with grading or something along those lines. He turned to give me a gentle smile – a smile I didn't think to return. Anko didn't either, for that matter, so she obviously wasn't very impressed with him.

"My name is Moroi Takeya – I'm representing the academy this evening."

"I gathered," Anko said, obviously wary. "What do you want, Moroi-san? It's fairly late."

"Yes, it's in regards to young Hotaru over there."

He waved at me cheerfully and I felt my eyebrow raise, unimpressed. I didn't wave back.

Anko spared me another quick glance, but I shrugged at her again. She then gestured for the man to take a seat on the couch, but maintained her distance by sitting in a chair at the kitchen table. She barely looked at me when I sat down Indian-style a little ways away from her on the carpet mat. Takeya smoothly fell back against the leather couch, his eyes widening a bit in appreciation. I smirked when I saw Anko roll her eyes slightly. She had only bought leather because, being that I'm outwardly a child, she figured there would be less of a possible mess to deal with. The couch did have the added bonus of being comfortable though

Takeya cleared his throat softly and leaned forward, hand on his knees as he adopted a more serious countenance. Anko noticed this quickly, but never moved her arm from where it lay over the back of her chair. Her eyes did narrow as she regarded him.

"As I'm sure you are aware, as the guardian of Hotaru-chan, she participated in the pre-entry exams as required by Konoha for proper allocation into the academy system. The good news, overall, is that she has exceeded expectations with her written exam results, and as it stands, could potentially graduate at the end of her first year and become a genin without any issues."

Anko's eyes narrowed even further. "And the bad news?"

Takeya closed his own eyes as he admitted, "Unfortunately, her practical exam results were subpar at best. Despite her lineage, it seemed almost as if she were new to the shinobi lifestyle, and was unable to replicate even the simplest kata formations. I do not know where she learned the abysmal style of fighting she constructed at the time of her practical, but it was shoddy at best, and a death warrant at best."

"That is hardly surprising," Anko replied civilly. "Hotaru hasn't had much instruction in the general know-how of being a ninja."

"Indeed. While I applaud her ability to perform the academy's most basic, and yet, most intrinsic ninjutsu techniques, her taijutsu needs quite a bit more work before it would be considered suitable. I would comment on her incapability of recognizing genjutsu and countering them, though that, unfortunately, is not a field the academy delves into with considerable detail. If she became able to effectively disperse a genjutsu set upon her, even a very low-ranked one, that would be more than applicable enough to allow her to graduate as far as that is concerned."

Takeya smiled at me again. I had to give him points for trying, at least.

My sister cracked her neck as she rotated her head, allowing herself a few moments to swallow all of the information he'd basically thrown down her throat. The second I saw her flick her fingers around as if twirling a dango stick, I knew she was taking this matter as seriously as if she were on another mission. Though, I guess that technically, if we were to remember what the Hokage said, I was an ongoing A-Ranked mission for her, so it would only make sense that she take everything seriously.

Takeya turned his attention away from me and looked back at Anko. "As a shinobi, yourself, I'm certain you understand the risks of sending out a child into the unknown with very little way of actually protecting him or herself. I'm sure you didn't have such an issue when you were a child –"

Anko's glare was as quick and deadly as a snake when threatened. "We are not discussing me or my capabilities. Stay on topic and don't veer off again."

The man reeled back, but nodded obediently. Anko continued glaring at him for a few more seconds before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"So, what are our options?"

"Yes ma'am," Takeya quickly said, grasping at the change of topic as if it were a lifejacket. "The problem we have come across concerns whether to place Hotaru-chan in a higher level class with perhaps the ten or eleven year olds, and let her attempt to catch up physically, or, that perhaps it might be better to place her together with children her own age and potentially bore her with redundant information while giving her an opportunity to raise her physical capabilities naturally and with a decent amount of time in a stress-free environment."

I looked at Anko as her face clouded slightly. Her fingers began "twirling" her invisible dango stick more readily.

"Honestly speaking," she said, face shadowed by some emotion I couldn't read, "I do not think she would fare well in the latter situation. If she were to start at the same level with all of the other kids her age, it would make more sense for her to only participate at school for the physical fitness tests, alongside of learning the kata and taijutsu skills. Forcing her to submit to relearning material she obviously already knows would leave her stagnant, which I think is contrary to what the academy is attempting to do. Or am I wrong?"

"Do I not get say in this?" I muttered and she flicked my head,  _hard_.

"Shut up. The adults are talking," she muttered back as I rubbed my head and glared at her.

Chakra! She'd used chakra to do that so hard! This was obviously violence against a child. Too bad I wasn't in a world where that  _really_ mattered.

Takeya winced for me but I just stared at him like he was an idiot as only a child really can. He raised children to become cold-hearted killers, and he was upset by the fact that I got hit on the forehead by my sibling? Priorities, you're getting them wrong.

He shook his head. "You aren't incorrect, Mitarashi-san. However, I am concerned that if she only appears at those specific times, it would lead to bad blood between her and her classmates, potentially causing issues down the road if they happen to become jealous over her leisurely lifestyle. There is also the matter of where she would go or what she would do in her off-times. You could very well hire a tutor to teach her more academically, but that might become a very expensive endeavor."

"And if she was upgraded to learn alongside the older kids? How would that work?"

"While she would still more than likely know the material," Takeya explained softly, "she would at least be able to participate with the rest of the class without sounding dismissive or derogative to others, and be able to also provide new and fresh insight for her peers to amuse themselves with. Her physical capabilities, however, wouldn't be able to compare to the other more mature students. In which case, she would need a teacher outside of the school who could work with her personally one-to-one. The teacher would need to be able to allocate much of his, or her, time and devote themselves to making sure Hotaru was brought up to speed on everything she needs to know."

Anko shook her head slightly. "So it's either stagnation or a do-or-die scenario."

The academy instructor nodded, looking sympathetic. "Yes, that is the gist of it. The reason it took so much time for us to bring this to your attention is that, even after creating the class ledgers and figuring out what people should be in which class, we still were uncertain on the best path for Hotaru-chan to take. Being that you are her relative, we believed that you might have more insight on her capability level and make the most suitable decision for her future."

She sighed irritably and I could definitely understand why. She no more had a grasp on what I could do than anyone else did. We'd never sparred with one another before – she'd never had the time nor the interest, and I could hardly expect her to want to choose the path that would shape the rest of my future. Anko covered her face with her right hand, her eyebrows knotted as she frowned.

Eventually, she shook her head. "I think you would be better off asking her for her opinion yourself."

Takeya seemed surprised. "Mitarashi-san, this is not something that should be left to a child's devices. This decision has the potential to –"

"It's her damn life," snapped Anko, apparently at the end of rope of patience. "Let her make the decisions for what she wants to do. She's the only one who should be able to regret what she has chosen to do, or would you be willing to pay reparations for a decision you made in her place should it go horribly wrong?"

I'll admit, I looked up at her a little too sharply when she said that. I hope that she wasn't referring to her situation with Orochimaru, because that really  _hadn't_  been her fault. That shit had been thrust upon her without her knowing how to subvert it. If she believed she was at fault for going astray, she had another thing coming. I'd just have to wait a few years to confront her about it, since I doubted she'd take the commentary very well from someone who had nothing to do with the situation. I would also have to work on my defenses as well, as well as my evasion and dodging techniques. I didn't want to be another example of Gohan from Team Four Star's abridged series.

Anko frowned down at me and nodded her head at Takeya, who was apparently waiting to talk to me. I turned my focus back to him with a frown.

Takeya seemed troubled as he regarded me, but asked, "Hotaru-chan, what would you like to do? I understand that learning with the older kids may seem a bit overwhelming, but we'll try to match you with an appropriate tutor should you stay with your own age group. We just want to make sure your needs are met as accurately as possible."

I rubbed the back of my head, enjoying the feel of all of the short hairs. "Obviously, I want to be advanced to the upper grades and work with the older children."

The instructor looked shocked at my admission. "Ah, but, Hotaru-chan, perhaps you don't understand how much stress you will be under to learn five to six years' worth of physical training within one to two years' time..."

"I doubt it's impossible," I countered. "Hatake Kakashi graduated in a year's time, didn't he?"

"Hotaru-chan, while it's wonderful you are aware of that man, you must understand that he is a genius within his own right, and has learnt several ninja techniques since he was a toddler. Your circumstances are a bit different..."

I could feel my patience starting to run out. "So, are you saying it's impossible for me to advance my physical capabilities within that amount of time? Why'd you even suggest it in the first place if you, as a whole, don't think I can do it?"

"Well, that's..."

Takeya looked pleadingly at Anko for assistance, but she was focused on me. Anko tilted my head back as she pressed a finger against my forehead, silently demanding that I look in her eyes.

"And how do you think we'll be paying for a teacher if you choose to take the route?"

"There's always a way," I responded, trying to swat away her hand, but all I ended up doing was hurting my own instead. "I'm sure there are a bunch of people out there who wouldn't mind teaching me a thing or two in their off times. I could do manual work for them, like clean their houses for free or sell my services in some capacity –"

Her fingers flicked against my forehead so hard that I fell back against the mat, my eyes wide as she glared at me. Takeya, I realized offhandedly, looked rather uncomfortable watching the two of us interact.

I clutched at my forehead, barely managing to clamp down a yell of pain as she glared fiercely at me.

"Damn it, Anko! What the hell is your deal?"

"Last I checked, this wasn't a damn brothel!" she yelled at me, her voice snapping at me like a whip.

It took me a few moments to connect the dots. I looked at her as if she was stupid when I finally got it.

"Goddamn it woman, I didn't mean I'd become a damn prostitute. I meant that I'd be using myself to complete certain tasks like be their punching bag or agree to their wacko experimentations for new techniques or whatever. What about that guy, what's-his-name? You know, the one who wears this green leotard or whatever and shouts from the rooftops at the crack of dawn?"

Anko paled the moment I mentioned Maito Gai; she obviously wasn't going to let me go one step near the man. That was a shame though – he'd always been an interesting character in his own right, in my opinion, and very hard to forget as well.

"You aren't going near that man."

Yep, I thought so.

Takeya interrupted awkwardly: "Hotaru-chan, as much as I would like to say that everyone in the village is a good person and would never mean you harm, I am rather concerned about a five-year-old girl possibly approaching adult men for lessons in physicality. Most might simply ignore you, but there are a select few that might take that consideration a step further..."

I kind of wanted to tease him and ask him what he meant by "a step further", but there was no need to traumatize the man before I'd even officially entered the academy. There would be much more time for that later.

Anko tapped her right hand on the tabletop, her eyes darting left and right as she thought deeply about something. After a minute of complete silence on everyone's part, her tapping stopped abruptly and she sat up straight.

"As Hotaru wants, she'll attend class with the older children. That is our final decision."

Takeya looked disheartened and disappointed. "I understand. I will relay this to the academy officials. Allow me to explain fully what will happen in that case:

"Hotaru-chan will attend each and every single class alongside of the ten-, or possibly eleven-year-old students. Arithmetic, science, geography, history, and other core subjects will be learnt together as a class. She will also join kunoichi classes to ensure that she understands the proper methods of seduction and how to use her femininity in a professional manner. As far as physical fitness classes are concerned though, she will not take part actively at the academy – that will be all up to her efforts outside of class. The teachers' attentions will be sparse enough as it is with teaching the older students new material and they simply can't be forced to attend to someone who is not up to speed in any way, shape, or form."

Anko nodded with every new piece of information. Takeya looked at me again but turned his attention back to Anko almost immediately.

"In three months' time, she will undergo an evaluation to monitor her progress. The first time she is evaluated, she will receive a report detailing areas that need to be worked on further and a probably time scale for how each skill will more than likely be raised and addressed. At the six month mark, she will spar with another student of our choosing, and this will lead to a review of what changes have occurred over the three month time span. At the nine month mark, she will again undergo another physical fitness test similar to her pretest. This will detail whether it is advisable for her to, in fact, attempt to graduate at the one year mark, or whether she should wait for another year to fully raise her physical capabilities."

Anko bit her bottom lip. "If it is judged that she has advanced her physical attributes to her certain degree, will she be allowed to graduate, or forced? Conversely, will she be allowed to personally remark whether she is ready to test for becoming a genin, or will her opinions on the matter be overlooked?"

Oh, those were good questions. I looked over at Takeya to see him look resigned, but still willing to answer any questions tossed at him.

"As much as we would like Hotaru to be mentally ready for adulthood upon possible graduation, please understand that we teach over two to three hundred children. It might cause other children more harm than good if a child has indicated that he or she does not want to graduate due to various issues. Unfortunately, this is not looking at a single child in particular, but everyone as a whole. Mental growth can take place anywhere and is not limited to only the academy."

I could almost feel Anko's muscles tighten as her gaze bore down on the instructor.

"So, even if she is not ready for whatever is to happen, you would still kick her out of the academy because other kids might get a little upset and jealous?"

"Were it simply civilian children," Takuya countered, "it would not be as much of an issue, I do not believe. However, it is the clan children's parents we are most wary of. Graduating and become a ninja, as you well know, is an accomplishment, a privilege. It is not something to be shirked because you don't feel 'ready'. No one is every really 'ready', and it would only seem as if she was stamping down on the other children's hopes and goals by turning down such a promotion. You're a kunoichi, yourself, Mitarashi-san. Please try to understand where I am coming from with this."

"Some things never change," I barely heard her murmur to herself.

I could tell she was starting to retreat into herself when her eyes glazed over slightly. I lowered my gaze to the floor.

"I'll be all right," I said. "I'm hardly what you could call a normal child."

Anko snorted. "That's an understatement."

She stood up, forcing Takeya to do the same out of respect. "We understand the conditions you have set and would like to proceed with this line of action. Please do not be afraid to inform us should anything change dramatically."

"Understood, Mitarashi-san." Takeya's words were clipped and curt at this point. I don't think he really expected Anko to agree to me essentially being tossed to the dogs and forced to fend for myself. He obviously wasn't amused with our choice. He'd just have to get over it.

Takeya bowed at Anko before turning around and heading to the door. Anko followed after him and closed the door behind him after he left, before turning her attention to me.

"It's time for you to head to bed," she declared softly.

"What am I, five?" I argued sarcastically.

"Yeah, you kinda are." Her tone left no room for further debate.

I stood up from my spot on the map, brushing at wrinkles at the butt of my pants. "What's going to happen with this teacher thing."

Anko clicked the lock on the door shut, her fingers brushing lightly against the lock as she thought.

"I'm going to call in a favor with someone I know. If all things go well, they'll be waiting for you outside of the academy when you're done for the day."

"Huh, I get to start my training tomorrow?"

Anko frowned at me. "You chose this path. Don't back down on me now. Now, shoo. Take a shower and get to bed. You'll need the sleep."

"Yes  _mother_ ," I scoffed at her as I walked away. I'll admit, I was slightly concerned about who she would choose to be my teacher, but I never once lacked faith that she would choose whomever with the best intentions for my future, for better or worse.

* * *

The academy was bustling with children everywhere to my great annoyance. I saw other first years swarming around for their entrance ceremony – a ceremony I would not be allowed to attend as the older kids were starting classes from the get-go. I watched my fellow age group get herded into the building while I was personally guided by one of the faculty to a classroom on the third floor.

When we reached the right room, the faculty member opened the door and ushered me in with him just for me to see the very bored and generally confused students within. I looked around at all of them without much interest as I was forced to stand next to the main instructor. The woman eyed me with a face devoid of emotion – whether that was because she didn't know how to deal with me, or because she wanted to treat me equally, or because she plain just didn't care, I couldn't say for sure. I looked back at her just as blandly.

The woman sighed and looked at her class. "Students, please meet our newest addition to the class: Mitarashi Hotaru. Due to her academic test scores, she will be participating in class with you instead of with her peers of a similar age. Don't underestimate her just because she's young. Hell, I'll bet she could teach all of you a thing or two."

How about we  _not_  inspire a sense of jealousy and spark potential bullying on the very first day, huh?

A number of whispers rumbled about the classroom, and I suddenly found myself in a rather uncomfortable position.

"Mitarashi...?"

"You mean she's related to  _that_  traitor?"

"What the hell? Wasn't she kicked out of the village?"

"What if that kid's really actually a spy for Orochimaru?"

"Shh! Don't say his name!"

Fuck. I'd known that I might have some trouble with people in the village for the role my sister played, but I'd never thought I be anywhere but with my own age group. These kids, though, they were only three to four years younger than Anko – they would've heard about all of the gossip surrounding her and, as all kids do, they would've rallied along with the voice of the majority at the time. Now, I was in the unfortunate position of having to deal with all of their possible prejudice and misguided hatred.

I narrowed my eyes, finding myself at a loss as I wondered how to contend with this situation, but some kids interpreted my facial expression for anger or assumed offense. The kid stood up pointing at me, shouting,

"She's just here to kill us all! There's no way a kid like her would be in a class with people twice her age otherwise!"

The teacher, someone I had dismissed as just a regular person due to my own stupidity, chucked an object from her desk at the boy in question, hitting him directly on the forehead and sending him crashing back into his chair. The class suddenly fell silent as shade of killing intent swept over everyone. I stood ramrod straight as I felt the fear roll across me, my attention on the teacher as she growled out,

"I don't care what the hell you kids think. Or do you somehow believe a  _five_ -year-old is going to hunt you all down, kill, and eat you for breakfast?"

I peered up at the teacher and she directed for me to take a seat at the very front, under her watchful eye. The two kids sitting on the bench next to me only glared but otherwise stayed silent as they focused on the teacher, whose name I still didn't know. The faculty member who had guided me in bowed and left quickly, and the instructor was quick to start the lesson with a rundown of the topographical features of the Land of Lightning. No one paid me any more attention for the next few hours as people busily wrote notes down on scrolls for reading later.

I sat there for the full lessons of geography, history, and applied and practical physics – each one an hour long – until it was time to break for lunch. I chose not to move while people lazily left the classroom, with some of the kids giving me the evil eye and flipping me off to show their disgruntlement with my presence in the classroom. Other students ignored me entirely, and the little fucker who said I was some kind of spy blew me a raspberry as he walked by before joining his group of friends.

Not everyone, I noticed, had left the classroom. There were a few loners here and there – an Aburame, if I were to judge by the high-collared jacket and sunglasses, and a couple of girls in the opposite corner from him, chatting eagerly about some nonsense. I looked forward to see what the teacher was doing, but she paid me no mind and was silently eating whatever meal she'd prepared. It looked like gyouza. I loved gyouza.

I pulled out the scroll Anko had given me from one of my pockets, tossing it once in my hand before setting it down on the desktop and unrolling it completely. Letting chakra slowly overtake my hand, I lightly touched the seal in the middle of the scroll and watched my meal poof into existence right before my very eyes. Hoh man, if I could've had this kind of ability in my old world, it would've made packing  _so_  much less tedious.

I pulled off the lid and peered in to see what today's menu was. Anko had gotten up and left before I'd even awoken this morning, so I never got to find out what she'd made for me. I grinned when I saw the chicken and vegetable curry and rice in the dish, but was somewhat disappointed to find an umeboshi laying in the middle of my rice.

Goddamn it all. That woman  _knew_  I hated this thing. I mean, I could eat them, but the taste was way too strong for me to stomach. I didn't care how healthy it was. I barely like plums as it was, much less  _pickled_  plums. I hurriedly picked up the disgusting thing with my chopsticks, holding my left hand underneath to make sure it didn't drop onto the floor. I was hardly rude enough to just throw it away, but if I left it uneaten, Anko would only double the amount tomorrow to spite me. Eventually, I'd have nothing left in my lunchbox but the damnable things.

I looked first at the Aburame and then over at the chattering girls. Then, I looked at the teacher. She had gyouza. Maybe I'd be able to trade.

Almost immediately when I approached her, she took one look at the thing my chopsticks were holding and quickly and clearly said,

"No. Go away."

I grimaced. "Oh, come on. You don't have to trade anything. I just can't go home and leave this uneaten or my sister will kill me."

"Sounds like a personal problem to me," the teacher muttered in between bites of her delicious-looking gyouza. "Life's tough."

Damn it. What about the Aburame?

When I approached him, he turned and gave me a polite "no, thank you". Damn it.

I took one look at the girls and sighed. I wasn't even going to try.

Sitting back down, I quietly ate my curry without bothering anyone else any further, though the umeboshi went untouched for the entirety of my meal. I forced it into a corner of my dish, slapped the lid back on, and wrapped it up in a piece of cloth. Taking the first scroll, I rolled it up and traded it for a different one in my other pocket. This one already had a seal drawn on it so I could seal the bowl back up without issue. I quickly clapped charged my hands with chakra and clapped them together before touching the scroll. Like clockwork, the dish disappeared.

I'll admit it. I loved being able to do stuff like this.

I put the scroll in my pocket and subconsciously noted that it was nearly time for recess. It was only noon, and already, I was pretty exhausted. It's boring having to relearn things that you've already learnt on your own. Of course, it wasn't like I knew  _all_ of the material the teacher – what the hell is her name? – had taught, but a good majority, sure.

I turned and watched the Aburame walk down the steps and leave the classroom, although the two girls on the opposite end were still deep in the midst of a conversation. The teacher was working on whatever, and I was pretty bored. I needed entertainment, and something to do far away from people who would bully me the second I walked away from this classroom. Sorry, teacher, but you're my target for today.

"Hey," I called out to her, catching the two girls' attentions as well. "What's your name?"

She gave me the most disinterested expression possible. I didn't think anyone aside from Anko was capable of it, and she was so  _good_ at it, too.

"Don't act as if you don't know."

I snorted. "Name me one instance where someone called you anything other than 'sensei'."

Her eyebrows rose as she thought on my words before she leaned back in her chair with a grin. "Okay, you've got me there."

"So, your name?"

"You're training to become a ninja, right?" she said, still grinning cockily. "Use those 'skills' of yours and figure it out, kiddo."

Fucking son of a... Fine. You know what? Fine.

I stood up from my chair and glared at her before marching out of the classroom. She chuckled as I walked past and I ignored her in favor of going to the restroom. Why were all the women in my life always trying to knock me down and make life much harder than really necessary? What was wrong with just  _telling_  me her name? It wasn't like I was going to write it down and make a voodoo doll of her or something. And, even if I could, I'm not so sure I would. With my luck, that would get back to me someday, somehow.

I went down the hall and used the facilities, to my immediate relief. I hadn't realized I'd gone four hours without a bathroom break for the first time in...a long time. I shouldn't have drank the pitcher of water I did for breakfast. My bladder wasn't that big, unfortunately. I got out of the toilet and went to wash my hands before slapping my face with cold water.

Okay, so there was some clear hostility from the kids at me in the classroom. That's okay. I could deal with that. The kids, while older, probably weren't of the mindset to really cause me harm yet. From a mental standpoint, I outranked them by nearly two decades. I could take whatever they dished at me. Besides, if I could somehow turn their opinions of my sister around and make them see that the village wasn't the only thing wronged by Orochimaru's deception, then so much the better. Hell, they were only freaking ten- to eleven-year-old kids. I used to  _teach_ kids of that age bracket, and besides a few brats from the underworld, kids that age were generally kind and good. They still had this innocent outlook on life that separated them from middle school kids that were nothing short of hellions in disguise.

I breathed out a sigh of weariness.

"I can do this. It's only the first day. I can totally do this."

I walked out of the bathroom, head held high, and ran smack dab into one of my male classmates. Peering at him in surprise, I looked back at the bathroom to make sure I hadn't gone into the wrong bathroom. I didn't recall there being any urinals in there. I looked back at him, and realized with a sinking feeling that he was smirking quite evilly at me.

"'I can  _totally_  do this'," he mocked, leaning in close to me. "You're pretty confident for a small fry."

My eyebrows raised at his audacity, though I did notice, with some discernible amount of nervousness, that there were a few more boys crowding around me. Were it just one or two boys, I could probably find a way out of my situation by either retreating or appealing to their childish indulgences. With three, four, six boys crowding me, however, I wasn't sure what all I could do.

"You've got some guts going to the girls' bathroom," the kid who had originally pegged me as a target in class said with no small degree of disgust. "What are you, some kind of faggot?"

Such words to hear from so small a child. I could hardly say I was surprised, and the only thing I took offense to was that they were somehow inferring that I was a boy simply by my hairstyle. Sure, I didn't have any breasts yet, but Heaven forbid that a girl should have short hair. Seriously?

I mentally thought back on every girl I could remember in the storyline that had had short hair at some point in time, and found myself coming up with a very short list.

Crap.

"I'm female, you pathetic excuse for a pig's refuse." Yes, brain, let's insult the people that are trying to make your life miserable. What a wonderful suggestion.

I saw a vein pulse in the boy's forehead as he screwed his face up in anger. The other boys seemed taken aback, and I heard one whisper, "If she's really a girl, maybe we should let the girls deal with her, Rouri..."

"Rouri" pushed the guy who had spoken away, as if disbelieving of the idea that anyone would back down from a five-year-old. Yes, that's right, fear me. I am your worst nightmare.

"This idiot's no  _girl_!  _Look_  at him!" Rouri turned back to give the cruelest expression I'd ever witnessed on a child's face. "And it's time we show him his place. Anyone with a sister like his is just looking for trouble. Let's make sure he regrets the day he was ever born."

Alarmed, I took a step back before Rouri grabbed a hold of my vest and dragged me to him. I panicked and slammed a fist of chakra into his face, sending him flying back as chakra swelled into my leg muscles as I ran away and down the hall. I heard a yell of frustration as I ran away and heard footsteps chasing after me. I didn't bother turning back as I realized I'd gone the wrong way and came face to face with the wall at the end of the hallway. I cut the chakra to my legs abruptly and nearly flew into the wall before sliding to a stop.

All six boys had been right on my heels with each step, and for the first time, I realized just how much of a gap there physically was between these kids and me. Takeya had been very correct in assuming I might have difficulty catching up to them in a year's time – these kids have been working on their skills for the past five years, minus some time in between thanks to the attack of the Kyuubi. Rouri cracked the knuckles in his hand as he walked straight up to me.

"What is your deal?" I bit out, trying to appeal to his better side. I knew he had one, – all kids did – I just didn't know how to access it.

Rouri ignored me and motioned at one of the larger kids to come forward.

"Yuuya, show this prick how we deal with traitors."

"Wait, I'm not a traitor!" I was starting to get mad now. They weren't listening! "And my sister isn't either! Why are you so quick to assume we've done anything wrong?"

My eyes narrowed as Rouri ignored me, and I was ready to march forward and attempt again when something hit me, literally. Yuuya's fist slammed straight into my face, striking my left eye with practiced grace, sending me crashing back against the wall, holding my face as I cried out from the pain. I have  _never_  been hit before by anyone in my life. Not even Anko has ever hit me, and yet this  _child_ , out of some misconceived prejudice for someone he has  _never_  met in his damned life, comes out and strikes the first blow?

I couldn't even be as angry as I wanted because shock was all that was running through my body – well, that and pain. My eye hurt so much that I think he'd applied chakra to his throw. My hands trembled as I sat on the floor, trembling from both rage and disbelief. With my good right eye, I glared up with absolute malice at the kids who had dared to piss me off today.

Yuuya grabbed me by my vest and lifted me up as I still covered my eye with my hands while Rouri slammed a fist into my stomach. My vision blurred as I suddenly saw two to three Rouri swaying in front of me, before another kid threw yet another punch into my stomach. I don't think I even realized that I'd fallen back to the ground, rolled up in a ball as I tried to protect both my face and stomach from more strikes.

Someone kicked my back – I'm not sure who – and another struck at my legs. Eventually, I think they grew bored with their victim who wouldn't – couldn't – fight back. Someone hauled me up my by vest collar and dragged me down the hall and pushed me into some tight space. I couldn't struggle even the slightest bit as they shoved me into the small container and then slammed the door in my face. My breath came out in small puffs, my heart having accelerated from the fear and anger coursing through my body. My entire body trembled as I fell forward to lean against the door of my new prison.

I fell unconscious not too long after.

* * *

I woke up hours later to the sounds of kids racing out of their classrooms and down the hallway, and could only assume that school had been let out for the day. My left eye had already sealed shut due to lack of immediate treatment and every movement I made to just breathe hurt so deeply that I couldn't focus on anything else. I stayed there in my little closet for a long while after everyone had left – maybe twenty to thirty minutes. When all I could hear was perpetual silence, I fiddled with the door and somehow maneuvered it open, immediately falling flat on my face. The quick movement caused me to curl up on my side into a fetal position as I struggled to bypass the pain.

I had to get home. I needed to shower.

If Anko saw me like this, I didn't know what she would do. She might help me, or she might scold me for not fighting back better. The worst scenario I could think of was if she didn't bother to notice in the first place, as if this was my business and she wanted no part of it. I wasn't sure what I would do in that case.

For the first time, I think I had a vague understanding of why anyone would want to stay home alone in their room and never come out for years. If this was all I had awaiting me every day of school, then I wasn't sure how long I could tolerate it without either going berserk and finally killing someone with a real kunai, or...

I struggled to sit up slowly, and then forced myself to stand on wavering legs. My breath came out quickly – I couldn't take in deep breaths. They hadn't broken anything, I don't think, but they'd definitely bruised a couple of my rib bones. Those fuckers. I was going to enact vengeance on them one day.

I couldn't wait for it.

It took me a good five minutes to trudge into the classroom and retrieve my bag. It had, luckily, been left untouched. I paid no notice to the teacher who stared at me as if she'd seen a ghost. Her golden-brown eyes were wide, incredulous of my current status. When she stood up quickly to come tend to me, I affixed her with the most piercing stare I could manage with one eye.

"No. Get the fuck away from me," I warned softly in a rendition of what she'd told me earlier.

She stopped in her tracks as I tried to heft my bag over my shoulder a few times without success before giving up and carrying it out with me by my left hand. I felt her eyes trail after me as I walked across the classroom and left without another word. I had no interest in a teacher that couldn't anticipate that something like this would happen. Even  _I'd_ managed to anticipate as much, I had just assumed it wouldn't, which was almost just as bad on my part.

My way down both staircases was tedious and wracked full of pain as each step down jolted my ribs with pain here and there. I was so happy to get to the bottom step and out the academy doors until I realized I still had another fifteen minutes of walking to get home. Maybe even longer.

I walked across the schoolyard and out of the gates leading to the main street. I never noticed the person waiting against the gate for me and walked straight past them without a word. I wanted to get home. I wanted a shower. I wanted to get my eye treated. Maybe it would be better to head to the hospital first? But, damn it, if Anko found out that way, I didn't want to think of what she might do in that situation. No, home first. Treatment later, if ever.

"Hotaru-chan?" a deep, feminine voice called out, barely registering in my mind.

With great effort, I stopped my trudging and slowly turned to look behind me at a young woman in a customary flak jacket. Her long, raven hair fell in waves over her shoulders as her piercing red eyes stared at me with dismay. I turned to look at her fully, my ribs protesting each movement.

"Yes?" I murmured, my voice somewhat raspy. I was quite proud of myself for not having broke down just yet.

The woman came up to me, seeming unsure of herself, but eventually gathering her nerve and tentatively touching my jaw as she pushed my chin up to look carefully at my eye. I noticed her eyes were a really deep ruby-red, something I'd never witnessed before. I'd have normally thought them to be unnerving, but I was hardly thinking clearly anymore at the moment. I just wanted to go home.

"What happened?" she asked, gently tilting my head one way and then another to get a better look at my swollen eye.

I just stared at her with my one good eye, my energy fading by the minute.

"Could... Could you take me home? I want to go home." My voice was childishly small, and later, I might come to hate myself for it.

The woman's gaze shifted to make eye-contact with me. I'm not certain what she saw staring back at her before she made a hesitant smile.

"Sure, let's take you home," she replied, her right hand coming up in the Ram seal in front of my face. "But for now, why don't you go ahead and sleep? Rest will do you some good."

"But I –"

I never knew what happened until I'd woken up several hours later in my own bed.


	6. Chapter 6

It was pitch-black in my room when I opened my eyes – plural, as in both of them. My left eye still throbbed a bit, but it no longer caused me acute pain to move it around or open and shut it. I swallowed, my throat feeling dry while I pushed the covers off of me. Whoever had tucked me in did it with the intention that I wouldn't be able to move while unconscious. As soon as I'd sat up, though, I'd begun to understand why.

My ribs hurt something fierce as I shifted my body around. I couldn't see the exactly, but my hands felt the coarseness of the bandages wrapped around my chest. I rubbed at them underneath my pajama shirt, frowning as I realized that I would have preferred to never have needed to deal with this. My breath shuddered out as I recalled how I'd been hurt in the first place, and just as quickly, anger swept through my body like a storm. No, I wasn't just angry, I was fucking pissed. Those fucking miscreants chose to mess with the wrong person, and I wasn't so above being childish in that I was ready to sic Anko on them the first chance I got. My sister, however, wouldn't be around to save me all the time, if she was even interested in doing so, so I would have to figure out a way to get back at them myself. That meant training, which meant I needed time to prepare. Until then, I'd need to find a way to escape in case I found myself surrounded again.

I looked around my room, my eyes having already adjusted to the lack of light as I tried to figure out what time it was. I was lucky in that my room also had a window to peer out of, but the sky was overcast with clouds, so there was no telling where the moon was. I slowly slid out of my bed, my right hand immediately moving to rest against my bandages – my ribs were really bothering me. My back was causing me some annoyance as well, but that was nothing too, too tedious to try to ignore. I think my legs were the only part of my body that had gone unmarred in some way.

When I shuffled over to the door so I could head to the kitchen for a late snack, – I hadn't been able to eat dinner, I now recalled – I saw that there was a small stream of light coming in from beneath the door. It couldn't have been all that late, then, if Anko was still up. She had work in the morning, after all, and was pretty good about getting to bed before ten, at the latest. I tilted my head. I wasn't looking forward to what she would have to say about my condition, if she had anything to say at all.

I opened my bedroom door and slipped out of my room, slowly shuffling down the hallway and into the living room. I carefully glanced around the corner to see Anko lounging on the couch, her eyes narrowed but lacking the normal fire I was used to. She didn't seem to notice me as she continued looking straight ahead with a frown set on her face. She seemed resigned and that worried me. Anko was a fighter and wasn't one to give up easily, but looking at her now, I wondered what had happened to put her in this particular mood.

Seated next to her, I saw the woman from hours earlier, looking pensive and concerned as she, too, looked straight forward. Maybe were I of a better mindset, I would have been thrilled to meet the great Yuuhi Kurenai – I'd always liked her in the manga and anime, and was a bit annoyed that she'd been taken out of the action so easily because of her baby. It seemed like she could have accomplished so much more during the story that it was a shame she'd never gotten the chance. She, alongside of Anko, had been one of my favorite female characters. I'd loved how gentle and loving she'd always been with her team and future husband, but it was kind of sad to see her with an uncharacteristic frown on her face. She'd only ever showed that to her enemies, or when she was deeply worried about something.

When I came fully into the living room, both of the women snapped their gaze over to look at me, Kurenai with a smile already prepared, and Anko with a mounted frown affixed to her face.

"What are you doing up? It's late," my sister commented, her tone sounding somewhat distracted.

"I'm hungry. I was going to get a snack and then go back to bed."

A strange expression appeared on her face as she looked at me before she slowly got up from the couch. Anko walked across the room into the kitchen to get a frying pan out and I frowned myself.

"If there's nothing already there, then I'll just go back to bed."

"No," she said, shutting me down immediately. "Just go and sit on the couch. This won't take long. Kurenai," she called out, looking at her friend, "do you want anything?"

"Don't worry about me," Kurenai answered, waving me over. "Dinner earlier was more than enough."

As much as I would've liked to argue the point, my injuries were weighing down heavily on me, and the sofa looked incredibly inviting. I wasn't sure how long I'd been out, but I was still ridiculously exhausted – my body was requiring more energy and resources than normal to heal my wounds, and despite apparently receiving a bit of medical care, I still needed far more time to rest and relax. I looked at Kurenai tiredly.

"You used genjutsu on me, didn't you?" I asked, my voice barely louder than a murmur.

Anko snorted from her place in the kitchen as Kurenai's eyebrows rose slightly. She then had the grace to look a bit chagrined and contrite for forcibly putting me under a genjutsu with me none the wiser.

"I told you she'd figure it out," Anko was quick to say to her friend, the knife in her hand chopping quickly as she cut a few carrots up.

Kurenai sighed at Anko's commentary, but did not attempt to counter my sister's words. She turned to look at me fully, her leg sliding up onto the couch's cushions as her shadowed eyes focused on me. I continued to lean back into the sofa, my eyes half-lidded as I tried to stay awake, at least until my food was ready.

"I'm sorry about putting you under like that," apologized the red-eyed woman next to me. "I was concerned about the graveness of condition, and didn't want to leave anything to chance. You had also seemed ready to drop from pain when we met, and I thought this would prove to be an easier, less problematic experience for you to endure, as opposed to forcing you to stay awake and alert."

I closed my eyes. "I'm hardly upset, Yuuhi-san. You obviously know what you're doing. Besides, you were the one Anko asked to oversee my training, right? She'd never bother with that if you couldn't be trusted."

Silence ensued after my response, and the only sound heard was the sound of oil crackling in the frying pan. I forced my eyes back open to see Kurenai looking at me with a strange expression on her face, as if I was a mystery she couldn't figure out how to understand. She continued to frown at me, eyebrows furrowed as she regarded me silently, her red eyes never once looking away from mine.

"How are you feeling?" she finally asked, voice low and soft.

"Like I got hit by a bunch of people and was left for dead," I deadpanned. "I'm tired, in pain,  _hungry_..."

Anko glared at me from the kitchen as she took the pan off of the burner. The food contents went directly into a bowled plate barely a moment after, and she stuck the pan into the sink for washing later. Kurenai gently pulled me to the middle of the couch, taking into account all of my injuries, as Anko plopped her butt at the right end where I'd initially been. She passed over the plate of food to me, complete with chopsticks. I took it into my small hands, too tired to even smile half-heartedly at the steaming pile of stir-fried vegetables and chunks of meat spread before me.

Kurenai smiled kindly as I maneuvered my chopsticks to begin eating, and I saw that even Anko's eyes had softened somewhat as she, too, watched me. Pulling one foot up onto the couch, my sister rested her cheek on her upraised knee, both she and Kurenai watching me eat silently. I'm not sure what they were thinking inside their heads, but for me, it was quite awkward to be the cause of such attention, and it made it a little difficult to eat without wondering if I was supposed to be tidier and cleaner as I did. I was halfway through my meal when Anko finally posed a question that appeared to have been eating at her the entire time.

"I'm curious," she began, choosing her words carefully as she paid me close attention. "What exactly happened today, anyway?"

Kurenai's smile faded as she grew more attentive, too. She had obviously pondered the same question as well.

"I got beat up," I answered, not giving any real details away. I wasn't sure what exactly to say, and I figured that telling the whole story truthfully might cause a few issues.

For one, if Anko ever caught wind that I was being bullied because of her influence, I wasn't sure what that might do to our delicate relationship. We had enough problems communicating as it was already – if ever the real cause behind my current state got out, I felt like that would only brew a number of troubles that no one in the village was prepared for. I also, honestly, couldn't say that I trusted her to let bygones be bygones, or that she might somehow blame me for my mounting problems. She had already blamed me for her problems once – there was no denying that she might attempt to do so once again, given good enough reason.

I hated that I couldn't trust her, but she hasn't given me much reason to do so yet.

It wasn't just her who I couldn't really trust either. I couldn't trust the Hokage, because anyone who would put a child through the kind of experience Naruto went through in order to force him into a hero in his own right was nothing short of strange to me. He'd also forced this living situation on the two of us, not even bothering to allow Anko any real choice at all, nor me, for that matter. That was already two strikes against him. I could hardly remember the other dastardly things he'd done for the sake of the village, but needless to say, he was not worthy of my trust, in my opinion. I couldn't allow myself that kind of possibly fatal weakness.

I couldn't trust Anko because of all the problems that had been foisted upon her by Orochimaru. Orochimaru had tried to use her to accomplish his every whim, and could very well have killed her had her curse seal not been sealed away as it had. It still caused her constant pain every now and then – I could hear her whimper at night, though I would never inform her of that much. I also couldn't trust her because I'd never once really felt safe in her presence. There was always the possibility, in the back of my mind, that Anko would somehow find a way to get rid of me. There was nothing wrong with that, of course, but I just didn't want to deal with yet another rejection. Then again, that was probably just my selfishness speaking. I was uncertain of her motivations concerning me, and this made me feel guiltier and guiltier every time I acknowledged it.

Kurenai was someone else I found that I couldn't trust. I liked her, and I appreciated her kind and gentle nature, but she was loyal to Anko. If something happened, I was certain that she would be sure to take Anko's side – not because of any particularly cruel, misplaced feelings towards me, but because I was an unknown, and she  _knew_  Anko better. If she didn't love and trust Anko as much as she was sure to in my mind, then there was no way Kurenai would ever have continued being friends with my sister after hearing of Orochimaru's treachery. That required real and genuine trust, and despite Anko not being able to return the feelings completely as of the moment, I know that, in her heart, she was nothing short of grateful for the unconditional love given her.

My academy... Well, it went without saying I couldn't trust the classmates I'd just met, nor the teacher who had been unprepared for what it might mean if a five-year-old joined a class of ten- to eleven-year-olds. I couldn't care less what she tried to do to make up for her ineptitude because, for me, the damage had already been wrought.

I hated that I couldn't trust anyone, and I hated that I wouldn't allow myself to trust anyone.

I clutched my plate of half-eaten food tighter. I could try to continue fooling myself as I'd done for the past month or so, but I knew that I was definitely alone in this world. No matter how incapable I might be of trusting them, I still wanted them to be okay. So, it was with this reasoning – both an inability to trust and an unwillingness to create more ripples in the pond – that I chose not to give any more details than I felt necessary.

Anko glared at me again. "Yes, that is obvious. What we'd like to know is  _why_. What happened to cause this?"

I restrained myself from pointing out that she'd asked  _what_  happened, not the  _why_  behind it.

"It was just the normal, garden-variety bullying. Not a big deal."

Kurenai looked troubled as Anko snapped, "Bone bruises all over your ribs. Nearly bruised kidneys. A black eye. Bruised abdominal muscles. What about that indicates 'garden-variety bullying'? If they had somehow broken your ribs, those bone shards could have torn into your lungs, or worse, your damn heart! You're lucky those kids hadn't been just a bit older, because you can bet that you would probably be dead!"

"And wouldn't you just like that?" I muttered my innermost fear, unfortunately loud enough for both women to hear.

I could've heard a pin drop onto the carpet for how quiet it had suddenly become in the room. I swear the room had grown a bit colder as we three sat there on the couch, no one budging an inch. I looked down at my food, no longer hungry enough to partake in it.

Anko turned away, a muscle in her jaw jumping to belie her anger. Kurenai wisely stayed out of our little spat, only carefully monitoring both sides just in case intervention became necessary. Her eyes switched back and forth between us, and I could see the muscles in her legs tautening as she grew warier.

"I'm," Anko started, breathing in slowly, "going to forget you said that. Ignoring whatever you may think of me, all I'm asking is that you tell me what happened, and reason for it. Do you think you could manage that much for me?"

I immediately felt guilty, but chose not to acknowledge the feeling because that could have been chuunin Anko speaking, as opposed to just talking to me as my sister. I pushed the feeling down to a place where I placed all the feelings I didn't want to acknowledge and shrugged.

"They were just offended by my presence, I guess. I wasn't what they were expecting and it caused some alarm."

Both women shared a concerned glance over my head, as if I couldn't notice.

Kurenai finally spoke up, asking, "Your presence? What do you mean by that?"

I gestured to my hair. "I look like a boy. When they saw me coming out of the girls' bathroom, they thought I was a pervert and a faggot, apparently. Maybe they thought I was trying to peek in on the girls. I can't say I blame their reaction – men like that disgust me, as well."

A half-truth. They had definitely been angered that someone who looked like me would be so audacious as to go into the "wrong" bathroom. I'd also never considered that my hairstyle would cause me any sort of issue, but that was definitely my fault. I couldn't blame anyone else for that.

Anko seemed confused. "They beat you up that much because you...look like a boy?"

At my nod, her face blanked completely. "Let me get this straight. They thought you looked like a boy, and so they beat you up almost to the point of requiring hospitalization."

I nodded again, and a red hue spread across her cheeks as her eyes darkened from anger.

"And you expect me to believe that?"

"I expect you'll believe whatever it is you think to be true," I answered, definitely no longer hungry and no longer in a mood to talk to about this. "To each his or her own."

Anko took me by the shoulders, forcing me to look straight at her. Her fingers gripped tightly over my shirt, and I could see her trying to keep herself from hurting me.

"I'm  _not_  your enemy here!" she said harshly, her voice raising with each word. "I just want to know what's going on, and how I can deal with it! If there's something I can do, then I want to know! If something happened that you're worried about, you can tell me, and I will do my best to take care of it! I can't read your mind and you're giving me absolutely nothing to work with. Stop pushing me away!"

My fears overtaking my ability to maturely reason, I narrowed my own eyes, baring my teeth as I snapped back, "You pushed me away first, and now I'm suddenly supposed to be able to trust you? Back off – I'll take care of my own problems!"

Anko's eyes widened slightly and I pushed my bowl of half-eaten food into her stomach, forcing her to automatically take her hands away from my shoulder and hold onto the plate to keep it secure. She watched me get up off of the couch as quickly as I could, no sound making its way out of her mouth.

"I'm not hungry anymore," I muttered, gritting my teeth. "I'm going back to bed."

Anko continued to gape as I began to shuffle away before she swiftly set the food onto the couch cushion, fluidly standing up at the same time.

"Hotaru!" she called out, her tone practically commanding that I listen.

Kurenai jumped out of her seat with the steady grace of a strong kunoichi, quickly grabbing a hold of Anko's arm as she pulled the latter back. Anko fought back, eager to get a better understanding of the situation when Kurenai's patience finally broke down.

"Anko, enough!" the raven-haired woman hissed.

I stared at the two warily until Kurenai nodded for me to leave, and then turned my head and walked away, the act of brushing my teeth not even on my mind. I pushed myself to walk back to my room, barely crossing into it when I heard,

"There's no way in hell that's all that happened, Kurenai, and you know it!"

"Anko-chan," Kurenai reasoned as calmly as she could, "forcing her into a situation that makes her so uncomfortable isn't going to help anyone. You need to be patient until she's ready to confide in you."

"Those fucking brats... If I could just  _understand_ , then, I don't know, maybe I could do something about it?" Her voice sounded a bit muffled. "How did it come down to this?"

"You know I mean well, Anko-chan, but, let me ask you honestly: are you sure you'd be ready to deal with whatever happened had she told you?"

There was a small moment of silence before Kurenai continued: "That kind of confidence is the start of a deeper relationship, Anko-chan... Are you sure you're ready for that kind of responsibility? Are you mentally prepared for what that will mean for you?"

I shut my door quietly to block out the information. Whatever answer Anko might have given was an answer I, myself, wasn't fully prepared to hear. Like Kurenai had said, this all could possibly lead to a bit of growth within our relationship, and that could go either way. At the moment, I couldn't trust Anko. I knew that. It was obvious to me. At this stage, though, I think we were both secure in that cold belief. Advancing further could potentially make the rift smaller, or throw us even further apart.

I was content in my fear, and was content to keep things as they were. Change wasn't always good.

With that dread taking over my mind, it took me a long while to fall asleep that night.

* * *

"Women are not a part of this world for the sole purpose of having children and catering to men, but for finding a way to ensure that such catering will open a door to more vital information."

Ibara Suzume, or Suzume-sensei as we were supposed to call her, walked forward smoothly, her facial expression cross as she swept her gaze over all of her students. Her eyes, a pale hazel-yellow, glanced at me once before she turned away and gently touched the top of her desk with incredible grace.

The class was nearly over after nearly an hour of trying to walk around with the sex appeal of a skilled kunoichi, although I think that most of us looked something short of a beached walrus with hip problems. I'd never thought to use my femininity as a type of weapon in my previous life, so this was a rather interesting, new experience. I hadn't known there were so many different ways to walk across the room: one way showed fright, another showed bookish charm, with yet another showing no-nonsense command. Each particular walk would open a path to discovering more information from specific men – or women – and allow for better infiltration. Each motion – a wink, a slight sway of the hips, the angle of one's foot as she walked – led to a way to possibly unlock something of importance.

Needless to say, I found all of this to be incredibly entertaining and informative. Behavioral social sciences were always intriguing, and that a person could be lulled into a state of false pretense simply based on the way I walked was a weapon I wanted in my arsenal. I wasn't into flower arranging or sexual confrontation much, but this? I could work with this.

"The saying goes that women are weak, helpless, and fragile when faced against terrible opposition or horrible circumstances," Suzume-sensei continued, sliding her fingers slowly against the desktop. "However, allow me to inform you that this is hardly the case for a trained kunoichi. You say the kunoichi is weak? I declare that she allowed herself to show you a sign of weakness so that you would wish to protect her and demonstrate your masculinity. You say she is helpless? That was only to lure you into a sense of false security where you would be the dominating factor in the relationship, such that it might be. Fragile? Fragility is but a state of mind – none are less fragile than a kunoichi when she has already slipped a poison into your tonic that will render you incapable of combat."

Oh, poisons were cool, too. I could go for those, too.

A slow smile full of charm and confidence made its way across Suzume-sensei's face, making her seem cool-headed, yet utterly captivating. Her gaze once again passed over everyone in the room and she walked across to the front row where an Uchiha girl was sitting, wide-eyed at what she was seeing. Suzume-sensei leaned in, softly cupping the girl's cheek as she continued to smile so wonderfully.

Then, without warning, a kunai slammed into the wood behind the Uchiha, making the girl yelp and jump. She swirled around and stared at the kunai that had been so close to her head before staring back up at our teacher. Suzume-sensei, however, was no longer smiling, and merely reached forward to pull out her kunai and twirl it in her hand. The Uchiha glanced around herself quickly before narrowing her eyes as she tried to calm down.

I could imagine her fear. I'd felt that thunk from well across the room as it was. That had been quite the shock.

"Every part of you is a weapon!" barked Suzume-sensei, her eyes fierce. "As you grow and mature, men will leer and stare at you, desiring something they will never be able to have, and you will  _use_  that to draw out every piece of information they might have. If a man indicated he takes a fancy to your breasts, wear your clothing in a way that his eyes will be drawn to those instead of your hand as you spike their drink. Maybe the man likes beings submissive in bed. Use that against him – I would say this would be easiest mission ever granted to a kunoichi."

She banged her fist against her desk as if to emphasize a point. "Men are useless when put against a woman who is well aware of her abilities and has an incredible amount of finesse available at her fingertips. As a kunoichi, you may be the only route left to securing a misshapen mission! Do not allow anyone to take that strength away from you, be it a friend, your husband or boyfriend, or anyone else. Once you lose this power, you lose what it means to be you, and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone."

Our teacher glanced once at the clock before nodding slowly. "Today's class is over, but I look forward to seeing you again next week. You're dismissed."

I didn't bother moving as one girl after another filtered out of the room to go home for the day. I stared warily at the door leading out into the corridor. I'd missed three days of school this week because of my condition, and while my homeroom teacher never let me out of her sight until she had been certain that the main troublemakers had been out of my vicinity, I was concerned about what might happen now that school was over. Rouri and his groupies had been none too pleased to find me sitting in the classroom this morning, save for that one boy who had tried pleading my case a bit. The look on Rouri's face had been enough to tell me I needed find a detour out of the building that would, in no way, alert anyone else. In other words, I had to try to be a ninja. Lucky me.

Without thinking, I reached my hand into my pocket to feel at a piece of paper. When I'd woken up this morning, I'd gone into the kitchen for a meal and had found five slips of paper with seals on them sitting on the kitchen table next to the scrolls for my lunch. They'd all been sitting right next to a note with Anko's elegant writing on it reading: " _Attach chakra to these slips when you find yourself in trouble. Only for situations where you need to escape. Also, Kurenai will be waiting for you again today, same place as before. – Anko._ "

I didn't know what they'd do and hadn't had time to figure it out. Anko and I hadn't exchanged a single word of conversation since Monday, and I almost felt like we'd taken a step backwards. I couldn't blame her though – it was unfair to her that I consistently compared her to the person she used to be as opposed to who she was now. I'd trusted the younger Anko implicitly, but now...

_"I'm_ not _your enemy here! Stop pushing me away!"_

I wasn't even sure who I was trying to protect at this point: myself, or my memory of her. Whatever I was doing, it was only causing the both of us pain right now.

I fiddled with the paper more before again looking at the door. I needed to go. Maybe I could jump from the window?

Suzume-sensei frowned as she saw me continue to sit at my desk.

"Is there a reason you've stayed behind, Mitarashi-san?" she asked softly, without even a touch of warmth.

I looked back at her with a mirthless smile. "Just considering my options."

My answer perplexed her, but instead of being amused, I quickly stood up. Instead of going out of the door, I jogged across to the other side of the room and jumped onto the window sill. My teacher narrowed her eyes at my actions, but I simply waved and jumped out from the third story window.

The ground raced up to meet me as I fell. I forced chakra into my legs for a clean landing and the moment I landed, I heard a bark of laughter. My legs were trembling from the fall, but I made certain to stand up as, lo and behold, Rouri came walking around the corner, his arms crossed across his chest. Behind him drew up the large boy named Yuuya, and from behind me, the last four of the group.

Damn it, I'd miscalculated. I'd hope they'd think I'd take the route through school to get out.

"Hah, I'm sure glad that Riki was waiting over here for you," Rouri cackled, much to my annoyance. "It would've been a real pain to have missed you."

"A set of stalkers," I said wryly, glancing back behind me. "Just what I wanted."

For fuck's sake, the stupid boy had posted sentries? Seriously? Did these kids have  _nothing_  else to do?

"I'd thought you'd left for good," Rouri continued, cracking his knuckles. "You should've stayed home, little faggot."

I fingered the paper in my pocket, concerned that I'd have to use it. If I could somehow make it out to Kurenai, I wouldn't have to worry about them bugging me after that, but until then... The chakra paper was starting to look better and better.

Yuuya immediately stepped forward and Rouri grinned menacingly.

Fucker. You've got nothing on my sister. Her middle name may as well be "menacing".

As soon as the big boy was near me, he, predictably, threw a punch that flew through the air straight at me. I took in a deep breath and pushed myself away by expelling chakra out of my feet and sending me rolling across the ground. The boys seemed taken aback by my one-time quick movement, and I, myself, was surprised that I'd managed to evade the blow. My eyes narrowed the moment I realized they had snapped out of their funk and were rearing in on me. My hand slid into my pocket as I grabbed a piece of paper with two fingers and pulled it out in a flash. Yuuya was about to grab my vest when I funneled chakra out of my hand and into the seal on the paper.

Someone must have noticed something because I heard a cry of "get back!" before an explosion of black smoke surged through the area, clouding all seven us with an intense smog. Several of the boys cried out with confusion as they coughed and I held my forearm over my mouth to block out the pollution. I could barely see the silhouettes of them as they tried to get their bearings. No, I wouldn't give them that time.

I ducked around Yuuya, pushed more chakra into my legs, and leapt out of the smog high into the air and far away from them. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I grunted from the jolt as my ribs protested. I heard someone complain that I was getting away, and saw them running out of the smog themselves to catch up with me. With my teeth gritted, I dashed away from them as fast as I could, seeing the entrance only a hundred meters or so away. Just when thought I might get away scot-free, a boy whose name I didn't know appeared in front of me almost out of thin air.

He glared at me with irritation present in his eyes and stalled long enough for the other boys to join him.

"You're dead," Rouri growled out.

"Not today," I declared, slamming my fist against the tall, wooden fence.

They stared at me as if I were crazy, but I only shook my head.

" _KURENAI_!" I shouted, hoping to God that she was where she'd been on Monday.

Rouri frowned. "What the fuck is a –"

I'm not sure how she managed it, but one second, Rouri was ready to hit me himself, and the next, a woman was standing right in front me, her hair still flowing gently from her arrival. I let out a sigh of relief even as the boys backed away, staring at the newcomer with disdain and a touch of fear.

I couldn't see her expression, but I saw Kurenai tilt her head back and whatever she'd shown them had sent them running away screaming. Rouri pointed a finger back at me, yelling,

"This isn't over, you bastard! We'll get you later!"

Kurenai's arms folded across her chest as she pegged the boy with a glare, sending him running and squealing like a pig. I smirked at the sight, completely happy with the results of having a kickass older acquaintance.

As soon the boys were all gone, Kurenai turned back around to look at me, red eyes full of concern.

"I take it that was them? The ones who did that to you?"

I sighed, falling down to my butt on the ground. "Yeah."

"And, you aren't going to tell Anko-chan, are you?" Her tone was a bit accusatory. "You should."

I simply held out another piece of paper with a seal drawn on it. The second Kurenai saw it, she sighed and shook her head. I guess she knew Anko's writing well enough to know where I'd gotten it, though she still seemed annoyed. I wasn't sure if she was more annoyed at me or her friend though, but she let bygones be bygones, and didn't question me any further on the matter.

"Let's get started on your training then," Kurenai instead said, holding out a hand to help me up.

"Right-o," I replied, taking the hand and getting hauled to my feet.

I just hoped she wouldn't spam me with a bunch of genjutsu.


	7. Chapter 7

Breathe in, breathe out. Look left, look right. Up, down, behind, in front.

Ground myself. Recognize my surroundings. Get a hold of my bearings.

Her red eyes peered down at me as I lowered my center of gravity, one hand reaching out in front of me as for blocking purposes as my right hand clenched into a fist near my side. Sliding my left foot back, I brought in my left hand, clenching it into a fist as I threw my balance to my right, shifting across the grass as smoothly as an amateur was capable. My ninja sandals barely faced resistance as I swept my entire left side forward into a sharp straight, my breath escaping as soon as I launched it.

Then, without further ado, I fell back into my initial pose with my arms crossing diagonally across my chest. I swung my right foot back around and turned swiftly to look behind me, throwing a quick jab before drawing back, my right knee rising to meet the elbow of my right forearm to block a potential blow as my left fist tucked in next to my body. My right leg then extended as fast as it was able, a side kick immediately striking at my invisible enemy.

My heart pumped hard in my chest as I stared out across the field. I pulled my leg back, setting it firmly on the ground before drawing my left foot towards my right, my right hand instantly settling into my cupped left as I bowed deeply to my nonexistent opponent. I stood up fully, ready to begin the process all over again, when she raised a hand, stopping me.

"That's enough for today," Yuuhi-san – no,  _Kurenai_ , as she wanted to be called – informed me.

My chest rose and fell with each shallow breath I took and I'm sure an expression of incredulousness showed on my face.

"What?" I gasped out, bending over and setting my hands on my knees as I fought to catch my breath. "Already? I swear that I almost had it. We can't stop yet!"

Kurenai smiled. "While I appreciate your enthusiasm..."

Suddenly, the world crashed around me as my eyes flew open to see Kurenai sitting down seiza-style in front of me. Sweat poured down my face and I felt as if I'd run a marathon, instead of working out from within a genjutsu.

"...It's fairly late. It's time to wrap it up for today," she finished, looking somewhat tired herself for having operated such a genjutsu for the past three hours.

My eyes zipped left and right as I looked around me. Dusk had long since fallen and the two of us were indeed sitting in the early evening darkness with only an overcast moon for light and some darker hues of blue and purple out in the distance. I wiped my brow with the back of a hand, sighing softly as all of my adrenaline flew out of my body. Falling back against the grass, my right forearm draped over my face, I attempted to forget that Kurenai, contrary to her sweet, loving personality, was a fucking totalitarian dictator of an instructor.

"Are you all right?" I heard her ask.

"Oh, you know, just fine. I only feel like I've been kicked in the balls a few times."

"And how would you know how that felt?" she continued asking with a small snort of amusement.

"I can only imagine."

So, because I technically am not authorized to physically push myself, Kurenai came up with a solution that would allow me to train and learn basic forms and katas outside of the physical realm. So, from the moment she told me to sit on the ground and relax my body, the woman immediately thrust me into a genjutsu that was a complete copy to the world around me. While physically, I'd been sitting down Indian-style, staring blankly at her real self, my mental self was inside the genjutsu, learning how to punch, kick, block, and the first form of kata that all academy students learn.

While I wouldn't have muscle memory left over from the training, because my mind could recall every movement I made constantly without interruption, I could then apply that to real life as soon as I was cleared to train by her. I also hadn't been constrained by limits of endurance and stamina in the genjutsu, so I really  _was_  able to keep going and going as if I were a living Energizer Bunny. Kurenai had also implanted a part of herself in the genjutsu that would correct my every mistake calmly and collectively. She was, honestly, a very good teacher.

She was also a total bitch.

"I'm tired," I might say, to which she responded that I wasn't physically doing anything and that this was all within my mind. When I tried to argue that the mental scope of a person is also somewhat dependent on their physical capability, she replied that that theory was utter nonsense, and that if I actually had any intention of getting stronger, then I needed to separate my understanding of what I thought to be true with what was actually true. In other words, I needed to allow myself to forget the limits I'd personally set for myself as a normal human being and push past them, or I wouldn't get anywhere.

Kurenai said this all with a smile, and then made me do the same,  _boring_  punch on and on until  _she_  got bored. That's why I say that she's a dictator. She's nice about it, sure, but only the vindictive could take any joy in forcing a young girl to repetitively do the most boring movements over and over with a smile on their face. She was scary. There was nothing entertaining about a punch after the first two hundred times.

Maybe I was just being immature about it all. I did need to grow stronger, and this was a great way to do so. I don't know why I was whining.

Oh, wait, I know. Maybe because she spammed me with a  _fucking_ genjutsu? Yeah, that might be why.

I'd called it. I'd  _fucking_  called it.

Jesus Christ, this woman, man.

I shifted my gaze around to pass her a small glare, but she was frowning as she looked off in the distance. She then looked back at me kindly and finally stood up from where she'd been sitting for the past few hours. When she held out a hand, I took it without a word, and she hauled me up from where I laid.

"Let's get you home," Kurenai told me, and I only nodded in agreement.

As we left the training ground, the two of us initially walking quietly until we crossed the threshold back into town.

"Does it cost money to rent a training ground?" I asked, genuinely curious. I wasn't sure if it was a tally system, a pay forward system, a ledger system, or what.

"Not at all," she smoothly answered, eyes glancing back and forth as she took scope of all around us. "One merely needs to sign up for a specific placement, though each training ground is only given in order of importance or rank of the one seeking assignment. In other words, the Hokage would, of course, be granted favor first, and then the special corps, then jounin, chuunin, genin, and then academy students. It's simple enough, and I was lucky that I could secure somewhere, though this type of training can be done literally anywhere, so it wouldn't have been too much of a setback had I been denied the grounds."

"So," I persisted, "what if there's a team of genin that need space, but a group of ANBU are also vying for somewhere. Given that the ANBU are technically higher in capability, couldn't they essentially pursue their training anywhere?"

"No," Kurenai immediately said. "All things considered, you're right – ANBU should be able to train anywhere, but we cannot send them out of the village far enough from everyplace else for training in case of an emergency. It is unfortunate, but the genin team would need to wait for another available space to open up later."

I mulled that over a bit. In a way, I'd think ensuring that the kids might hold more importance because if they were unable to gain any real skill, then they were basically sitting ducks just in case of an attack on the village. ANBU had more resources to work with whereas the genin were at the bottom of the totem pole with nowhere else to go.

"What if it were a genin team full of clan kids versus a genin team of nameless people? Who would gain full rights first?"

Her red eyes turned to me, displaying a bit of amusement. "You're an inquisitive little thing, aren't you?"

"I'm just wondering if hierarchy has any real significance, or if it's dependent on the level of experience either team has, or how well fought the jounin is."

"It does," Kurenai answered slowly. "Unfortunately, should both jounin be equally qualified, then yes, hierarchy comes into play and the clan kids would receive first preference."

"Figures," I muttered. My questions really didn't have any kind of meaning now, but if I ever planned to train by myself in the future, I needed to be aware of the chances of receiving a space to do so within the village. I'd, of course, never be allowed to go outside without supervision, so that was a moot point. I didn't even bother questioning the fact.

Kurenai rubbed her fingers through my hair softly. "Now, if you don't mind, I've a few questions myself. May I?"

My body immediately stiffened as I grew wary of what she might ask. I knew she was concerned about Anko's and my relationship, but I wasn't sure I was really prepared to talk to her, or anyone else for that matter, about it.

"Depends," I finally responded.

Her eyes narrowed slightly but she didn't comment on my sudden defensive nature.

"Now, Anko has asked that I continue mentoring you to acquire the basics, and while I don't have any issues with doing so, I do wonder," she began, voice lowering as we continued walking, "what is to be gained from this?"

"Pardon?" This wasn't a particular line of questioning I'd prepared myself for.

She turned her gaze away, thankfully. "Were you an ordinary child, I wouldn't bother asking, but I've had to reconcile myself with the fact that you do not act five. In some ways, you most certainly do, but you ask questions no five-year-old has business caring about. It almost makes me wonder..."

She looked down at me again, suspicion obvious in her expression, and I stilled entirely. I forgot to continue walking and she also paused a few steps away from me, giving us both ample personal space.

"I wonder," she started again. "In the future, what do you hope to become? Why am I taking time out of my day to train you? What will this all lead to?"

"That's a fairly loaded question," I commented, evading what she'd asked. "It makes me wonder why you seem so suspicious of me."

Was this something we really needed to be discussing out in the street? Although, after having taken a real good look around me, there weren't many people walking about, so I supposed it was as safe as any.

"Are you afraid of me?" Kurenai asked in a low, somewhat deadly voice. "I pose no danger to you, Hotaru-chan."

Bullshit. I wouldn't even be able to run away if you thought I was a danger to anyone in this village.

A hand rising to settle at her hip, Kurenai stared down at me, her red eyes almost glowing. "Now, why don't you try answering the questions I've asked?"

"I-, I don't know what I want to be," I stuttered, much to my shame. I normally didn't frighten easily. "I would just like to get out of academy without getting myself killed by underage bullies."

"What appeals most to you? Power? Destruction? Knowledge? An ability to heal?"

"Survival," I muttered. "Plain and simple. If power grants me that, fine. If destroying something does, great. If knowledge supplies a means to staying alive, awesome. If I have to heal others to be healed, all right then. I don't have any particular preference."

Her eyes gleamed even more, and I felt something press down on me. Fear raced through my body like ice through my veins, and for a moment, I remember that the person in front of me was a seventeen-year-old chuunin, a woman who had dealt with much death and destruction herself, and was an up-and-coming kunoichi with a bright future ahead of her. It grew harder to swallow and I felt my chin lower slightly as I continued to make eye contact with her.

"Last question," Kurenai said, her voice no longer kind and caring. "Are you, or will you ever be, a danger to Mitarashi Anko? You are her sister, and thus I hesitate to ask, but unlike normal children, you rebuffed her kindness. Unlike any other lost sibling who would be overjoyed to be reunited with family, you looked at her as if she were a suspicious stranger, meant to be watched warily without any give whatsoever. What are your intentions towards her? Answer carefully."

I gritted my teeth. "I remember who she was before, and I can't help but continue to compare how different her present and past selves are. I don't have any ill intentions towards her, but I can't just accept her as if nothing happened. She was gone for _two_  years. That's a significant amount of time when you're young, and more than long enough to become estranged from one another. I don't want to hurt her, but we can't act as if that rift isn't there."

She just stared at me before raising a hand in the form of a Ram seal. "You are not the five-year-old you claim to be, but your intentions seem pure."

With a flash, I found myself suddenly staring at the door to my apartment, beads of sweat running down my face as my heart beat rapidly. I slowly inched my gaze up to look at her standing right next to me as she knocked on the door. Kurenai spared me a small smile of reassurance.

"And I can work with that."

Another stab of fear sunk into my heart as the door opened to my tired-looking sister. Anko held the door open wide enough for me to shakily walk inside. I heard her and Kurenai exchange a few words as I walked into the living room, barefoot, my eyes staring at nothing as I recalled the conversation the red-eyed woman and I had just had. I slowly turned to look back towards the door, only to see Kurenai give me a gentle wave coupled with a smile.

"See you tomorrow, bright and early, Hotaru-chan."

My hands trembled as I considered what might be in store for the next day, but I saw Anko's eyes peering at me curiously. I forced my mouth into a shaky grin and waved back.

"Looking forward to it."

God, someone save me.

After shutting the door, my sister turned back to look at me, an eyebrow raised. "What's your deal?"

Kurenai's last words rang through my head and I shuddered again. "I'm experiencing a living nightmare."

That made her stop completely and just stare. Then, a corner of her mouth quirked up.

"Let me guess," Anko joked, her arms crossing across her chest. "She put you under a genjutsu for 'training'."

"It isn't funny," I muttered. Kurenai was unbelievably scary. And those questions... Was she on to me?

"No," Anko agreed, her smile fading. "It isn't. Kurenai would use a genjutsu for anything and everything if she could manage it and had the chakra to back her up. It's pretty frightening how she'll strike first and question the matter later."

Then she turned away, muttering, "And she wonders why she's still a chuunin..."

After a few moments, Anko sighed and cracked her neck a couple of times as she walked into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and looked inside, with me coming up behind her to stick my head in, too. She gave me a quick glance before breathing out slowly.

"Our stock's in a pretty sorry shape," Anko murmured.

It was, I agreed as I continued staring. Inside of our icebox, there were a couple of onions on the shelf, and half a container of orange juice, but I wasn't interested in having caramelized onions and orange juice for dinner. Anko opened the freezer and pulled out some chicken breasts, but frowned down at it.

"This may take some time to thaw."

"Just toast it with a fire jutsu."

"And potentially burn down the entire place?" she asked, bewildered. "I'm good, kid, but I ain't that good. I'll buy some green stuff to make a sandwich or salad or something tomorrow."

I took the chicken out of her hands and slid it onto a shelf before shutting the door. "So, what? We eat an imaginary dinner tonight?"

Anko frowned and rubbed her face with a hand. "Mmm... How's ramen sound?"

" _Ramen_?"

There was nothing wrong with ramen. I happened to like that kind of meal every so often, but Anko had never been too fond of it. I can literally count the number of times we've ever eaten the stuff on one hand, and that was including before the Kyuubi event. I didn't count the mess that Aniki always cooked up – I missed him dearly, but the kid had been capable of burning water.

She grimaced slightly. "Money's running a little tight this month. I'm not actively taking any missions, so I can only depend on what I get from my job at T&I. Sorry."

I shrugged a shoulder, smiling for her benefit. "Then, hey. I know just the place."

"It'd better not be expensive."

"...Oh, I sincerely doubt  _that_  will be a problem."

She narrowed her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. "Fine, whatever. I don't care. Let's just get there, finish, and come back home so we can get a good night's sleep. God knows I need one."

I walked back to the foyer to slip on my shoes again, Anko following right behind me, keys in hand. As soon as we were out and she'd locked the door, we both walked down the hall and out of the apartment building itself, heading down the steps and into the street.

"So, where is this place, then?" Anko asked, walking next to me, her eyes keeping watch ahead of us.

"I just know the name: Ichiraku."

She paused for a moment. "I've never –"

"Well, well, if it isn't my wonderful subordinate!"

Both Anko and I stopped and turned around to three men walking up behind us. One was tall and blond, another large and stocky, and the last was rather tall, sinewy, and raven-haired. Well, fuck me if I didn't know this famous trio.

The second Inoichi turned his gaze on me with a smile, I involuntarily took a step back, hiding slightly behind my sister.

"Crap, it's him again..."

Anko didn't say anything, though any hint of humor she'd had earlier had vanished clear off of her face, leaving her expression completely neutral. She regarded her superior before breaking eye contact by making a deep bow. To the other two, she nodded respectfully.

"Akimichi-sama. Nara-sama."

Akimichi Chouza guffawed as he slapped his large stomach, his face lighting up easily. "Now, now, there's no need for so much formality! We're all equals here!"

No, we're not. Besides, don't you guys have toddlers at home? Why are you out so late?

Nara Shikaku nodded back at my sister, acknowledging her greeting but saying nothing in return. Inoichi, much to my displeasure, never once shifted his gaze away from me, and instead took a couple of steps forward.

"So, where are the two of you off to?"

Anko lowered her gaze so as to not seem challenging. "Hotaru and I were about to go to a place called Ichiraku for dinner."

Inoichi frowned. "Ramen? That's not very heal–"

Chouza slapped a hand against the blond's back, pitching him forward a few steps, a bellow of laughter erupting from his mouth. "Sounds appetizing! Say, you wouldn't mind if we happened to join you? I wouldn't mind eating some ramen right now, and Ichiraku's one of the best places around!"

"We just ate," muttered Shikaku, not seeming pleased.

My sister hesitated only slightly. "We wouldn't want to impose on your time..."

"Nonsense!" Chouza loudly declared. "After all,  _we're_  the ones inviting ourselves! Come, come! Allow me to lead the way!"

The Yamanaka clan leader gave me another smile before falling in step with my sister as she grudgingly walked next to him. Whether because she didn't want to disrespect her superior, or because she didn't want to seem too unwilling, she never glanced back at me even once. I watched the three walk forward with mild disdain and annoyance. Tonight was supposed to be another night of bonding. Where the hell had these three even come from?

"Damn it, Yoshino's going to kill me," Shikaku muttered irritably, rubbing the back of his neck.

I glanced up at him once before walking ahead and leaving him behind. The clan leaders, even more so than the main characters, were definitely part of the few that I had no desire to be near. I was further annoyed when I realized that Shikaku had fallen in step next to me, his eyes focused on the road ahead. I stared up at him critically. Where did he hide all of that intelligence anyway?

"Keep staring all you like. It won't make me disappear anytime soon."

"Whether you disappear or not is none of my concern," I answered honestly, my face scrunching up as I continued staring up at him.

Ah, that's what was strange. He didn't have those two scars yet.

Shikaku passed me a glance. "Unless you have a reason to continue staring at me, knock it off, kid."

I chuckled. "If it bothers you so much, sir, you are free to move faster or slower at your own volition."

He frowned curiously at me, but then let the matter drop.

We arrived at the Ichiraku ramen stand about ten to fifteen minutes later, and I must say, I was  _starving_ by this point. I wondered if Anko would allow me two bowls if I could manage it.

Luckily there was enough space for all five of us to sit on stools, much to the owner's obvious pleasure. Unfortunately, and I don't know how this worked out, the Akimichi planted himself right in the middle between Anko and me, with Inoichi sitting next to her and Shikaku sitting next to me. I narrowed my eyes as I looked around Chouza down towards where Inoichi was sitting.

He'd wanted Anko separated from me for some reason, and she had apparently noticed. I could see the muscle in her jaw ticking as she grit her teeth together, but she made no sounds of opposition and just let things go as they were. My eyes narrowed further.

Inoichi was becoming a bit of a hindrance.

"Keep scowling like that and your face'll stay that way," Shikaku said as he looked at the walls to read the menu posted all around.

I ignored him, but he persisted:

"She isn't going anywhere. Just relax and think about what you want to eat."

My glare shifted over to him. "You're quite talkative for a genius tactician. I would've thought that you had too many thoughts roaming about your head for you to consider attempting normal conversation."

Shikaku cracked a smile. "Ah, so there's fire within her yet."

"Was your intention to rile me up?" I asked. The only irritation I felt right then had nothing to do with the Nara though, but was solely focused on the blond three seats away from me.

"If only a few words can rile you up, then I worry for your future."

"Then I suppose it's a good thing that my future has little to do with any of you."

I made as if to move off of my stool, but found myself completely immobile. I tensed my muscles, for the second time that day, another stab of fear hit me. What was with people using their techniques on me?

"Inoichi is just checking in for your benefit," Shikaku murmured softly enough that only I could hear him. "He wants to make sure Anko is treating you right."

I grit my teeth further. "He could just ask."

"Do you have something to hide?"

A frown stole across my face, and I stopped fighting. "Everyone has something to hide."

"Too true," he agreed. "Look, I'm going to release the jutsu. But you need to promise to stay right there. Don't interfere."

I wanted to glare at him, but couldn't do a single thing. "'Don't interfere'? Isn't that what you guys are doing?"

"More or less," Shikaku stated, pausing only to tell the owner his order. "We have our reasons though."

"Most do. That makes you no nearer to being right."

"Being 'right' is a matter of opinion," he countered, releasing his hold on the jutsu binding me.

I turned to him. "You can waste your opinions on someone else. You treat her like she's going to kill me."

Shikaku never bothered to look at me. "She very well might."

"So much for that camaraderie thing. If you can't trust someone who put her life on the line to come back, then it's a wonder that you manage to keep living at all. I thought everyone in Konoha was one big family."

"Even families have their black sheep," was all Shikaku said before I hopped off my stool.

I marched around Chouza and grabbed a hold of the back of Anko's flak vest, causing her to spin around with some alarm. Inoichi also looked back at me, surprised that I wasn't still at my booth. I saw him send a discreet, meaningful glance over at Shikaku, though I couldn't see how the latter might have replied.

"Hotaru," Anko said. "What are you doing?"

"I want to go home."

Both of her eyebrows raised. "I thought you were –"

"I,  _want_ , to go  _home_ ," I persisted, tossing a glare at Inoichi, whose expression closed off some.

With that, I pulled even harder at her vest. She slid off of the stool and grasped my shoulders.

"Listen, Hotaru..."

"I want to go home."

"We just got here..."

I glared at Inoichi again. Unless he relinquished his control over her, she wouldn't feel comfortable leaving before him. Inoichi met my gaze once, looking at me with his complete attention before standing up and sitting on the stool where Anko had just been.

"I'll see you tomorrow at the office," Inoichi said, dismissing her with a short wave.

Anko stood up fully and bowed her head. "Of course, Yamanaka-san."

She turned away from the three men and led me away. We ended up getting takeout from a nearby restaurant before finally heading home together.

Inoichi was a thorn who was sticking his nose into family business, and Shikaku was a menace who was ready to put down a dog before understanding its true nature, only knowing it was a possible gateway to danger. My eyes hardened as I walked home next to Anko.

Yes, this was the world I currently lived in.


	8. Chapter 8

It was very early the next morning at six o'clock that Anko roused me out of bed to prepare for my training session. I'm one of those people who _hate_  being woken up by someone else – an alarm clock is fine, but another person? That makes me irritable as hell.

Completely dressed and washed up, I glared across the dining room table at the opposite wall. It was Saturday, it was early, someone had woken me up, I was hungry, and I was absolutely terrified at the thought of working with the same person who had threatened my life just yesterday.

I clenched my vest tightly in my hand, my breathing quickening as I worried about how I was going to get through today. I couldn't just quit on Kurenai, seeing as I wouldn't have anyone else to depend on, and Anko would wonder what the cause of it was. If I told her that her friend had threatened me with my life if she insomuch as detected any ill intentions, then Anko would either start doubting the one other person who really, truly thought well of her, or she would start doubting me, again. It was hard enough to be rejected the first time, that if it happened again... Well, I didn't know what I would do. I'd probably try to go back to the orphanage, or hell, let myself be killed.

I was scared. What if I took a wrong step? What if Kurenai decided to put me down? What if all went well, but I couldn't pass my exam anyway? What if the Ino-Shika-Chou trio took things too far and drove Anko into a corner? What if  _I_  drove her into another corner?

My fist tightened further. I was scared. I was very, very scared.

The clink of a dish hitting the table in front of me snapped me out of my paranoia. I saw Anko slide into the chair with her plate of scrambled eggs and one slice of toast and spare me a tired smile. As tired as she seemed to be, her eyes were very much focused and alert as she looked me over. I felt my pulse skyrocket when I thought that she might question why I was so freaked out, but...she didn't. Her mouth tightened a bit, but she simply looked down at her plate, eating one bite after another at a slow pace.

"Times are rough, huh?" she murmured, gaze still focused down. "But we'll get through this."

We. She said "we".

Just like that, all my fear melted away. I looked down at my plate, tenderly picked up my fork and scooped up some eggs.

"Mmm. You have work today, right?"

"Yeah," she sighed, laying her elbow on the table. "Geez, I don't know what that guy's deal is. He's been giving me the stink eye ever since that one day you showed up."

I frowned. "Inoichi, you mean?"

"Yamanaka-san," she corrected me before rubbing her eyes. "What the hell did you do to piss him off?"

"Tch. More like he pissed  _me_  off. I just wanted to get you so we could eat, but he decided to butt in and get nosy."

She put her head in her hands and then concentrated her gaze on me. "Promise me you won't make matters worse by getting uppity with him. He's a clan head and has a lot of power behind him, and I don't want to give him an excuse to make our lives miserable."

I sat back in my chair and blew a huff of breath through my nose. The child in me definitely wanted to say that it was the stupid guys' fault for poking his nose into things that didn't actually matter for him, but the adult in me agreed that pissing off someone with that much power would never make for a good story later. It took some restraint, but I ended up shrugging.

"Understood. I just wish he'd stop smiling so creepily at me. I don't like him."

Anko chuckled softly. "It kinda is, huh? Like some kind of pedo."

I felt my face relax into a toothy grin – I was losing my baby teeth, and it was just as fascinating the second time around as it had been the first – and laughed a bit myself. Anko smirked back at me and the conversation came to a standstill after that as we both concentrated on our meals. Only five minutes later, she was washing the dishes with me as the token dryer, as if she expected me to be able to reach those cabinets up there. Not happening.

As soon as the dishes were cleaned, dried, and put away, Anko ran a hand through her shoulder-length hair and left the dining room area to go get herself ready for work. I stared after her and then looked at the clock – a quarter 'til seven. I was supposed to be at the training ground by eight, and Anko was supposed to be at work by the same time.

I rubbed my eyes and yawned. Damn it, kids just required so much more sleep than adults, though I had never been one to deny myself too much sleep. I was one of those dysfunctional people who needed like ten hours of sleep per day or I couldn't do anything. Obviously, my new life was hardly any different for me.

I longingly looked at the couch. Eh, I had nearly an hour to kill. What was the harm in sleeping some more?

With that logic in mind, I hopped onto the couch and a few minutes after my head hit the pillow, I was out.

I was out...only so that I could be woken up by being dumped on the ground like a sack of potatoes.

I flailed like a fish out of water and quickly stood up, looking around blearily. My eyes first found Kurenai looking down at me with an amused expression on her face. Ignoring her, I looked left and right for the culprit who had left me hung out to dry. There was no sign of Anko though. Damn it.

"You should be in okay enough shape to do this outside of a genjutsu, yes?"

With that rude wakeup call vanishing from my mind, I immediately froze up the second I heard her voice. Whatever fears I may have had concerning Anko may have been somewhat alleviated, but I was still just as frightened as ever of the genjutsu mistress. As long as I didn't do anything "suspicious" or worth investigating into, then she would have no reason to perhaps kill me anymore, right?

I never even tried to meet her eyes when I nodded. When she shifted to walk away, my body stiffened out of reflex and I cautiously watched her feet as they walked a few pace away. The moment she stopped, I chanced at look up at her face to see that she was still smiling, and an ice-cold chill slipped its way down my back.

Kurenai frowned somewhat. "Are you all right?"

I nodded rigidly, determined not to say a single word to her if it would keep me safe. She seemed somewhat put out, but gracefully fell into the fighting stance that I recognized as the first form without saying another word. With one hand in front of her for blocking and the tightly next to her side, even I could tell her form was flawless. Then again, if it hadn't been, then I had a whole crop of new problems to deal with.

"Remember," Kurenai said softly, beginning her lecture, "each strike is made with solid determination, an unbroken will and a knife to wedge into your opponent. Each blow is meant to kill or maim, and with that, the intention behind it must be pure enough to show thusly. If you lack the desire, it will be a simple matter for an enemy to turn your own action against you."

She straightened up and motioned for me to take the same stance. I breathed out slowly as I fell into a stance myself, my mind instantly recalling the hell – I mean,  _tutorial_  – I'd gone through yesterday. As soon as I was ready to begin the kata, though, she lightly touched my outstretched hand, ensuring that my fingers did not curl lazily and were rigid. Kurenai then kicked lightly at my foreleg and I shuffled it forward a smidgen. Then came my back leg and I slid it back.

The genjutsu mistress circled around me and after checking my tucked fist, she finally nodded. I expected her to tell me to begin the kata, but she only backed away and, well, waited. My brow furrowed, but I figured this was like karate back during study abroad and that it was to make me sweat and turn my muscles into goo.

Bring it on.

* * *

Come one hour later, I was no longer in the mood for "bringing it" anywhere, and would have loved to sit down instead. Kurenai didn't give me the all-clear until my legs started trembling so badly, it would've been crazier for me to be able to keep myself up any longer than that. I fell to the ground the second she raised her hand as a signal, my breath huffing and puffing out of my mouth as I gasped. I, not caring how I looked to her, dragged my body over to a water thermos just waiting for me to drink from it.

As soon as the cold liquid slipped into my mouth, – I could just hear George Takei's voice saying "Oh  _my_ " to that line – I sighed with contentment. My legs hurt, my muscles were twitching all over, and my face was covered in sweat, but my first hour of "training" was done. Only...three more hours to go. Awesome.

Kurenai, probably having noticed my tendency to stiffen up – man, what is with these innuendos today? – whenever she was around, sat a little distance away from me. Her eyes were closed, but I knew she could tell if I was watching her or not, so I didn't. I instead looked up at the blue sky above me, marveling at how there wasn't a single cloud in the sky. The sun wasn't up too high either, so the temperature was more or less perfect – that and it was still April, so it wouldn't get incredibly hot yet until mid-May anyway.

I might've fallen asleep had my instructor not risen up nearly ten minutes later. I pushed myself off of the ground unwillingly, my muscles starting to cry out in response. Kurenai attempted to smile at me again but I averted my gaze. I didn't want to acknowledge her on a familial basis – her as my instructor was more than enough for me right now.

At her hand's direction, I fell back into the fighting stance, my teeth gritting tightly as pain rushed through my legs. Breathing out, I grounded myself and tried to ignore the tingling sensation all over. It wasn't working.

"Begin the kata you learned yesterday," Kurenai said, her voice cutting through the calm silence.

I didn't bother nodding and simply pushed myself forward, going through each part of the kata until I finally reached the end. When she didn't say anything, I began the kata again, walking through it over and over and over for, yet again, another hour. At the thirty minute mark, though, my fist trembled so much that I could no longer control my movements as well anymore, but Kurenai never stopped me. She just stood there, watching with a concerned expression on her face. I wasn't sure why.

Was I doing the kata wrong? She's corrected me before, though, so I didn't think that was it, and she wasn't one to mince words where training was concerned. I forced myself through the movements for the last twenty minutes and then promptly fell down onto my face when she raised her hand.

Face plants hurt about as much as you'd expect them to. But, my body wasn't standing up, so I was okay with this. I could also barely breathe, but, again, this was preferable to my last two hours of training. I closed my eyes as my body laid motionless on the grass, though I could kind of hear the crunching of grass as she walked away. I felt myself relax further and turned my head to lay my cheek on the ground. Once again, I nearly fell asleep, but just as I was almost there, Kurenai stood up.

Just as I'd resolved to, by some miracle, push myself up, I heard her sit down right next to me, and my heart jumped into my throat. I tried shifting away just a bit.

"Hotaru-chan, we need to talk."

No, I  _need_  to train. That's what we're out here for, so I can train and eventually no longer need an instructor. Yep. I'm getting up. I'm up. I'm up.

I pushed against the ground with my tired arms, rising up to my full height, if only a bit shaky. Kurenai frowned up at me.

"Hotaru-chan..."

Kata. I'd do the katas again. Yeah, that sounded good.

"Hotaru-chan, please," she tried again, rising up from her knees.

I coordinated my arms to rest where they should when she finally lost her patience, grabbed me by my shoulders, and spun me around.

The feeling of her spinning around flashed me back to when Anko did much the same the other day. I saw Anko's concerned eyes juxtapose over Kurenai's red ones for a second before I came crashing back to reality. I pushed Kurenai away, toddling backward before falling down flat on my butt.

Whelp, I wasn't getting up again anytime soon. I'd already used one miracle for the day. I actively glared at Kurenai when she came close again and she backed off, her hands held up to placate me.

"Please! Just ten minutes, that's all I ask!"

I turned my gaze away, staying silent.

"Are you not intending to speak to me anymore?"

My adult self would've walked away given the chance. When someone betrayed my trust that much, there was no getting it back. It would take years and years before I would allow myself to open my heart again. That probably wasn't the best habit, but it kept me psychologically safe, more or less, so I didn't bother 'fixing' myself.

Besides, she'd threatened to murder me and then smiled at me afterwards. Freaking psychopath.

I heard Kurenai sit back and sigh. A few seconds of silence passed. Eventually, I turned back to see her fingers fidgeting in her lap as she stared down at the ground, troubled. Her gaze suddenly rose to make eye contact with me and I scowled without thinking.

She neither smiled back nor frowned, but just looked at me pensively before her eyes fell to the ground again.

"A couple of years ago," she began tentatively and almost unwillingly, "I lost what remained of my family in the large attack. My father, needless to say, meant the world to me. We did not always get along, but we were there for each other when it counted."

I frowned. I didn't know a damn thing about her father, and didn't even know his name. So he died in the Kyuubi attack? That was something a great number of people shared in common. Fucking Madara.

Kurenai swallowed, but she refused to look back at me again.

"I learned something about myself that night when I found his body. I'd always grown up with this expectation that wrongs would be righted and justification would be served. My father was an absolute believer of such things," she continued, never looking at me. "My mother was not on this earth for long, and I can't say that I recall her very well, so for me, my father was my rock. He was my support, and though we argued and constantly spat with one another, I have no regrets, despite him no longer being around."

I leaned back and fixed her with a look of consternation. I could see how we were similar in ways, but, unlike her, I hadn't had much time with my family. I wasn't sure if I had anything  _but_  regret.

Her eyes rose to meet mine fiercely, anger rolling off of her in waves.

"And  _that_ ," she forced out, trying to ease her words, "that, is why it unnerved me  _so_  much when I saw you together with Anko. Your only remaining family is  _right there_ , and you two are dancing around one another as if you're strangers, as if you were from entirely different worlds!"

"We  _are_  from different worlds!" I snapped, considering how literal I was being. "She got  _mind-fucked_  by that retard and can't even remember who she is! The person  _I_  remember is essentially nothing like this woman! They are  _two_  different people!"

Kurenai's fingers tensed, but she just gritted her teeth. "So, that's it? That's the end of it? You're both far too different so there's no worth in bridging that gap?"

I shook my head. "You don't get it. That's not it at all. I'm just saying that these things take time."

She looked away for me for a scant second before the fire was back. "Oh, and you think you have that time?"

I peered questioningly at her.

"You will someday be a shinobi," Kurenai said, tone rigid. "There isn't any such thing as 'time'. One day, Anko won't be forced to stay within the village any longer and she will once again take missions just like any other ninja. The very second that happens is the very moment you no longer have this notion you call 'time'."

"It's not that easy," I argued, glaring at her. "She was hurt so deeply and at such a fundamental part of her psyche that I can't simply rush this because I'm afraid I might lose her. This isn't that simple."

Kurenai stared at me for a moment before her expression filled with understanding. Whatever she suddenly understood though did not please her whatsoever, from the looks of it.

"You're not concerned you might lose her," she said, sounding almost awed from disbelief. "You feel like you already have. To you, the past Anko and this Anko are two completely separate beings..."

"I swear I said that," I muttered, and Kurenai shook her head.

"Enough," she whispered, and I raised an eyebrow in puzzlement. "You're so focused on everything wrong that you can't see any sort of light."

"What?"

She slammed her hand down on the ground, making me jump in surprise. Her teeth were grinding before she looked back at me.

"Stop focusing so much on the past behind it all!" she finally yelled, her temper completely lost. "You are alive, here and in the present! Right  _now_! If all you continue to do is look back behind you for something you lost, you will never understand a reason as to why it may have happened! I lost my father, but as a result of his actions, I am still alive, and I will  _never_  forget that!"

Kurenai continued glaring at me. "You have your sister here with you, right now, and you refuse to see her as anything but some kind of aftereffect from something she could not control, from something  _no one_ could. If you keep on like this, refusing to see what's right in front of you because you're so concerned about what's right behind you, then, sufficed to say, you will  _never_  actually  _live_!"

I stared at her and turned my gaze downward towards the ground. She was right, though it was difficult to admit as much.

"I don't even know where to start," I confessed quietly.

Her anger abated for now, Kurenai sat back and sighed. "Is there anything you do together, just the two of you?"

"We tried to go out to eat yesterday," I said, recalling the fiasco, "but some people barged in on us and we had to get takeout instead."

"Perhaps you should work on that." Her soothing tone was back. "What about hobbies?"

A memory popped into my mind and I smiled.

"Oh, oh, she used to always..." And then I remembered that we were focusing on the present Anko, not on the past one, even though they were still one and the same.

Kurenai smiled gently, urging me to continue. I bit my lip.

"Back then, she always used to read. Any and every book she could get her hands on would always pile up on her desk, and she would come out to the living room, curl up on the couch and just read to Aniki and me. It was nice."

Kurenai seemed surprised – she hadn't apparently known about that part of Anko. "I see. Well, that's one thing. Now, here's the most important part: does she know how you feel about everything?"

I froze before slowly shaking my head. "No... No, she has enough to worry about."

"Then, that's where you need to start," Kurenai said, leaving no room for argument. "I'm glad that you two are gradually starting to do things together again – after all, you've only been reunited for a month, now. However, until you address this...problem, between the two of you, your relationship isn't going to get any better."

"I'm," I started, pausing slightly, "not sure that's a good idea. What if..."

"Yes, things may turn out poorly, but, I promise, you both will feel so much better if you do."

I looked up at the red-eyed beauty with some suspicion. "Since when were you a psychologist?"

"I'm not," she answered. "It's just moronically obvious."

Oh, ouch. It was, but still, ouch.

"Okay," I resolved, sighing out as I thought of my task ahead of me. "I'll talk to her."

"That's all I could ever ask," she replied kindly, before her expression hardened. "Now, there is something you said that struck me as odd. Why, in the world, did you say she was 'mind-fucked'?"

Uh oh. "Something incredibly dastardly has to happen for someone to completely forget their existence with a serious bout of amnesia."

Her eyes narrowed further. "And who is this 'retard'?"

Oh, man, I was just all sorts of intelligent today. Sure, let's just blab about how I know all of these secrets and how I'm from a different universe, and oh, did you know: you future husband dies. Sorry about that!

Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

"Orochimaru," I said without hesitation, and I saw a spark of confusion. "Everyone knows that."

"Everyone who is a  _ninja_  knows that," she corrected. "How did you come by this information?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "She talks in her sleep." This was true.

That took the wind out of her sails. Kurenai sat back and laid her palm against her forehead, fingers intertwined in strands of her hair. She didn't talk to me for another short while before she focused on me again.

"Might I suggest you  _don't_  bring that topic up?"

What, you  _think_  I have a death wish, woman? Despite all the people that seem ready to kill me at the drop of a hat, I don't, thank you very much.

Kurenai exhaled softly before standing up. "Anko should be coming here to pick you up within the next few minutes."

What? I looked at the positioning of the sun and flinched back, surprised. We'd been talking for  _two hours_? Well, the first twenty minutes had been filled with Kurenai gathering up her courage to tell me her life story, but seriously, an hour and half? What the flying fuck? And, speaking of which...

I turned to Kurenai and said as firmly and sincerely as I could, "Thank you."

She turned to me, surprised. "Whatever for?"

"I could tell it was difficult for you to broach the topic about your father," I answered solemnly, and I saw a shadow of sadness cross her face. "And, I want you to know how much I appreciate it. It's never easy being forthright about something like that – especially when you don't know how the information will be received."

Kurenai smiled hesitantly. "You're more than welcome. I am only glad I could help in some way."

She turned away for a second before looking resolute about something.

"And, for what it's worth, I really am sorry. For yesterday, I mean."

I stared at her, kind of stunned.

Kurenai clenched her hands into fists. "I can hardly believe you're five-years-old when I speak with you – you understand so much and respond so eloquently, that I can't help but be suspicious. But when I saw that look on your face..."

She took in a deep breath, her eyes fluttering closed as she lifted her face to the sky.

"I..." she began, stiltedly. "That wasn't the face of a well-fought shinobi, or even a genin. That expression of abject fear is something no one can replicate, no matter how decent an actor they may be. I first consoled myself with the theory that I was merely looking out for my friend's interest, but, upon seeing you today... Seeing how you stiffened automatically whenever I was near, as if I was a danger to you, I couldn't..."

Her voice trailed off as she found it difficult to finish her sentence. I'd gotten the gist of what she'd wanted to say though, and I understood. I didn't like it, but I understood.

"It's okay," I ended up saying, the words piling out of my mouth with little restraint. "I know you meant well."

"Do you," she tried saying once before finally stopping. She tried again: "Do you think you could forgive me?"

"Sure," I said easily with a smile of my own.

The moment the pain and unease faded from her expression, I grimaced slightly.

"But I," I continued, quickly gaining her attention, "will never forget this. I will forgive you, but I don't think I can ever trust you anymore, unless there's no other way. You may have had the best intentions, but all I recall is the terrible feeling that I was about to die. I'm not sure I can forget that, so I'm not sure I'll ever be able to trust you again."

Her crestfallen expression was enough to make me cringe, but, it needed to be said. I just couldn't bring myself to put my life in her hands again like that, not unless I was actively training and needed that push to become stronger. I couldn't do it... No, I couldn't bear to do it.

"I understand," she murmured softly, and that was the end of that conversation.

* * *

Anko came and picked me up not too long after that, taking me home after we'd gone grocery shopping. She cooked lunch for the two of us and then sat on the couch to read up on some material while I went to go take a shower. Say what you will about Kurenai, but she kicked my ass today. I was exhausted, and the only thing left for me right then was sleep. I needed sleep, and I needed it badly.

I crawled in under my one blanket and fell asleep almost immediately. When I awoke some hours later from my nap, Anko was still sitting on the couch reading, her facial expression serious as she perused her materials. I bit my bottom lip again before purposefully walking into living room and catching her attention.

She passed me a glance and looked back at her papers with a murmured, "Hey."

Remembering the promise I'd made to Kurenai, I took in a deep breath.

"Hey, can we talk a bit?"

"About what?" She never looked away from her work.

"About us. About what's going on here."

There was a slight pause before her hands lowered and her feet slipped off the couch as she sat up.

"Hotaru?" she asked, hesitant. I could see a bit of fear in her eyes, which almost made me want to call the whole thing quits.

No, I could do this.

"Please?" I asked, not feeling as brave as I hoped I sounded. "I just... This can't go on."

Her expression neutralized itself and she set her papers aside and onto the floor. She patted the cushion on the couch next to her and I slowly climbed onto the piece of furniture beside her.

"Okay," she said softly, her normal confidence absent. "Let's talk."


	9. Chapter 9

I wasn’t sure how long we sat there, the two of us. Certainly, I had been gung-ho about this confession thing, but this really wasn’t how I’d planned for things to go. I had been hoping for maybe a couple of years for the both of us to ease into our relationship, and then we could start poking at barriers and limits and start the sibling arguments and whatnot for real. Of course, Kurenai was absolutely right when she said that there was a possibility I wouldn’t be granted that time of leisure – who could say my foreknowledge would actually hold any? After all, Anko had never had a sister originally. I was hardly arrogant enough to believe my sudden existence will cause any great changes in the world, but I couldn’t deny the chance that it might.

I just... I didn’t know. Like what Tali had said to Shepard in the third wonderful, but horrible game of Mass Effect, I wanted more _time_ – an abstract concept I wouldn’t be getting now. Honestly, though, we really needed to deal with this gaping rift between us, but, it was times like this that I remembered that I wasn’t dealing with an adult in any sense, but that of a child who had been forced to grow up a bit too much, too fast.

I looked over at Anko discreetly, my gaze taking in her haggard appearance. She was only fourteen, but there were little factors that showed how recent events were taking their toll on her. Because of her work load and the stress her boss was putting on her, she was starting to develop bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. Anko had also started developing a nervous tick that came about whenever we went outside and were confronted with various haters – the middle finger on her right hand would start tapping against her leg, as if reaching for the pack of kunai that she would normally have strapped there as a commissioned kunoichi. Truth be told, that tick made _me_ nervous – what would she do if she was actually allowed weapons on her person?

Then, there were the moments she was allowed some respite and sleep – those didn’t last long enough, in my opinion. Whenever she fell asleep, sure as clockwork, within the second hour, she would be deep within the thralls of a dreadful nightmare. I only knew this because her cries woke _me_ up, even though I was someone who could probably sleep through a raging tornado. She would wake up, get something from the kitchen, go back to bed, and therein would the process begin yet again. Neither of us have managed to get much sleep over the past month, which has made everything even more tense and unpredictable.

I had to praise her work habits though – the young woman was serious as hell and sleep be damned, her work would not be sacrificed so long as she had the energy to impart upon it. But goddamn, she was only fucking fourteen. The girl needed a break.

Fuck this.

I slid off the couch, my gaze looking pointedly away from her. I felt her eyes burn into my back as I walked away from the couch.

“Where are you going?” she asked softly. “I thought we were going to talk.”

I snorted. “The last thing you need right now is more stress; after much deliberation, I’ve decided to forego this talk and save it for another time.”

“I’m fine,” Anko stated, her voice laden with steel. “Don’t be ridiculous. If we’re going to talk, then let’s talk. Don’t prance around the subject.”

“I’m not!” I argued, turning around. “You look half-dead on your feet – there’s no way we can talk when you look like you’re about to keel over.”

Anko stayed in her spot on the couch, her glared directed completely at me. “I’m _fine_ ,” she repeated through gritted teeth. “If we’re going to talk, then out with it! Are we doing this or not?”

I tilted my head slightly as I glared back at her. “Sure, I’ll bite. Tell me: when’s the last time you got any sleep?”

“What?” she asked, her eyes narrowing further. “What does that matter?”

“Just humor me. When’s the last time you actually slept the entire night, from the time you retired for the night to the time you were actually _supposed_ to get up for work?”

“What are you...” she started before shaking her head. “I always sleep through the damn night. What the hell are you talking about?”

Only a few words traded and she was already started to curse. That wasn’t good, for her mental health and my physical. I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Right,” I said, drawing out the word. “So all that whimpering and crying I hear every night must just be my imagination. My mistake.”

“Shut up,” Anko demanded in a low tone. “You don’t want to go there.”

“Oh, but I think I do,” I persisted, knowing I wasn’t getting out of this without some kind of repercussion. “What is it that scares _you_ so much that you can’t help but cry _every_ night? Does it have to do with why people seem to hate you?”

I damn well knew it did. Poking lions with a sticks was so much fun. Behold the sarcasm.

“Shut. Up,” she repeated, her jaw clenched. “You don’t know anything about what I’m dealing with right now. Stop prodding.”

“I’d know if you’d just _tell_ me. That’s what this is all about, right? Talking things out?”

Anko glared at me almost murderously at this point. She slammed her palm against one of the couch cushions, her teeth grinding together as we faced off against one another.

She clucked her tongue. “Is this all a game to you? Whatever might’ve happened to me before is none of your damn business.”

“Oh hell no!” I shouted, making her grunt in surprise. “Don’t you dare pull that shit on me. That ‘it’s-my-problem-not-yours-so-back-off’ shit won’t work on me. You know why? Because you don’t know how to actually keep that crap to _yourself_ , so it bleeds out and affects me anyway. So, no, I’m sorry, but what happened to you before really _is_ kind of my business.”

“Stop pushing me,” she growled out warningly. “This is the last time I’m going to repeat myself.”

Yep, I was going to take a jump.

I grew silent and stared at her as I saw her struggling to control her anger.

“Or what?” I asked. “Are you going to beat me up for real this time?”

My words made her freeze and her eyes widened as every ounce of fury swept from her like a popped balloon. I was hardly repentant by the way I’d approached the situation – if the stress continued building up as much as it already has thus far for her, then there was a very high likelihood that she might resort to violence of some kind. She wasn’t allowed to train, she wasn’t allowed on missions, she wasn’t allowed to do any of the stuff she’d been doing for the past four years to keep herself sane, so she would have to find another outlet. I was no masochist, but I would much prefer she take out that restlessness and unease on me rather than someone else, especially since that someone else could possibly land in her in a whole other mess of trouble.

If I was going to be beat up on a daily basis, I figured that it was my right to know.

Anko broke eye contact with me and turned away.

“That...” she began, “was an accident. I never meant to do that to you.”

“I don’t care if you meant it or not – the fact of the matter is that you did.”

She flinched a bit, and I had no doubt in my mind that she really hadn’t wanted to hurt me. She’d probably been regretting the whole thing for the whole month we’d been living with one another. I didn’t budge from my stance as she struggled with her inner emotions.

“I thought you said we were going to forget that ever happened,” she murmured softly, still not making eye contact with me.

I shrugged a shoulder. “I’d fully planned to. But if this is going to be a issue again in the future, then I’d like to address the problem right now.”

Anko closed her eyes tightly, her fist tightening so hard that it trembled. “I would never lay another hand on you.”

“Stress does silly things sometimes,” I reasoned. “There’s nothing wrong with you raising a hand towards me, but I’d just like to make sure it happens.”

“Am I that untrustworthy to you that you can’t believe me when I promise you something?” she asked with a question akin to a demand. “What happened to familial bonds and trusting your kin?”

I sighed. “I don’t know anything about you anymore. But, you can’t say that I don’t completely trust you. If I didn’t, I would’ve found some way to go back to the orphanage, or hell, get my own place. Besides, I doubt you trust me either.”

“I trust you,” she said with only a moment of a hesitation.

“No, no you don’t,” I countered. “Whenever I ask you what’s wrong, you brush me off immediately. Whenever I try to do something that might help, you shun away my good intentions. If you’d just –”

She faced me with amazing speed, her eyes open and full of fire. “What about you then?” she questioned. “I know you haven’t been completely upfront about your experiences so far. Trust is a two-way street, Hotaru.”

Her words caught me unaware and I paused for a few seconds, my mouth slowly closing as I absorbed her words. She was right – I hadn’t been all that forthright about myself, but I had a reason for that. I doubt she’d much like it though.

“You’re right,” was all I eventually said before quieting again.

Anko scowled at my simply response. It obviously hadn’t impressed her any.

“So,” she started, “you don’t trust me hardly at all, and yet I’m supposed to spill out every secret of mine to make you happy? That’s not how this works, Hotaru, and I’m not going to play that game.”

“It isn’t a game to me,” I rebuked, growing frustrated. “All I’m saying is that even if I did relay all of my menial and mundane experiences and problems to you, nothing valuable would come out of it. They’re meaningless.”

She tilted her head and she regarded me with some slight confusion. “What are you talking about? How exactly would they be meaningless?”

“Well, in the end, I don’t really matter much here, do I?” I explained matter-of-factly.

The moment I saw her eyebrows draw together as she began to react to my statement, I hurriedly held up two hands, one horizontal to the ground as low as I could hold it, and the other high above my head. Anko’s eyes flashed upwards and down before meeting my own once again. Bringing her attention to my lower hand, I said,

“This right here is me with all my issues and whatnot. Let’s remember that I am only five and haven’t contributed to the village in any way, shape or form.”

Anko stayed silent as I next brought her attention the higher hand. I looked up at it as well.

“This, however, is you. You have graduated from the academy, are a chuunin, were the disciple of an S-Ranked shinobi, have completed a great number of missions already, currently work in the T&I, are capable of summoning one of the three great species, and once the town gets used to you again, will be a very valuable commodity to the village as a whole.”

Her eyes quickly caught mine, wide with disbelief. “How did you know I...?”

“I’m not stupid,” I chastised her. “At least, not as far as that goes. Even I can only take so much stupid. Besides, who _doesn’t_ know by now? Besides, I heard it from the other kids on my first day of academy.”

“How do they...?” she was about to ask, her face pale, before redness slowly came to her skin’s surface as she grew angry about something. “Wait. Is _that_ why those fucking punks did that to you? Did they seriously go after you because _you’re related to me_?”

I motioned for her to stop that tirade before it went any further. She was standing up by this point.

“Who cares why they went after me?” I asked rhetorically, my hands finally falling and drawing up to cup my waist. She frowned at me. “That isn’t the point of what I’m saying. What I’m trying to get you to understand is that even if I told you about my retarded life, considering nothing newsworthy ever really happens, it would only add to your stress. That’s the last thing you need.”

Anko seemed almost disappointed, though I doubted that I was reading her facial expression clearly.

“Why do you say things like that?” she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.

“Come again?”

“How can you not give a single damn about yourself?” she questioned me and I sighed.

I was about to give an answer but she cut me off quickly:

“How can you say that you don’t matter?” Anko continued to probe, her eyes narrowing further. “How can you say that no one cares about you?”

I stared at her, feeling slightly uncomfortable. “Why is this such a big deal?”

“Because _I_ care!” she burst out, her voice raised. “I know I haven’t made the greatest impression on you, but I... I really do care. I do!”

My sister’s confession had me at a loss of words. I couldn’t continue looking at her any further and turned my gaze away. Her eyes were filled with an emotion I couldn’t read, and I felt like I’d been missing something for some time.

“You have enough to deal with,” I said instead. “Best not to add to your plate with caring about some –”

“Stop it and _shut up_!” she yelled, eventually losing her temper. I opened my mouth to argue but she cut me off again.

“I mean it!” Anko warned me. “Shut up! You’ve had your chance to talk and now it’s _my_ turn!”

“Okay,” I answered, acquiescing control of the conversation to her.

Anko immediately turned her gaze away and breathed a sigh from her nose. Then, she began to speak:

“I’m sorry,” she began softly, her anger calming slowly. “There are some things I can’t talk about yet, with anyone at all. There are some things that outright terrify me that I haven’t been able to come to terms with, and I don’t want to face such a reality. I don’t want to be reminded of everything that’s gone wrong for me so far – I don’t want to deal with the mistakes I’ve made and the problems I’ve caused.

“I don’t want to be treated as a piece of china that will break as soon as it’s touched. I don’t want to be thought of as a beast on a very short leash. I don’t want to be thought of as a stranger in the very same village I grew up in, as a monster raised to spur on only destruction. I don’t want –”

She paused briefly, biting softly onto her bottom lip as she cast her gaze to the floor. I saw her swallow slightly before she let out a short breath, her eyes closing as she did.

“I was so excited to make a difference, so excited that I would be able to make an impact on the world. I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough. I don’t understand what I did wrong. I don’t understand why I was aban–”

Anko broke off again, her left hand rising to cup her mouth as she glared fiercely at the floor beneath her.

“I thought I was alone after that.” She paused. “The Kyuubi had destroyed so much two years ago – so many died. And then I was aban–... I was left without guidance and felt like it was the end. And then I met you.”

She let out a small chuckle. “I couldn’t _stand_ you. You were a pretentious little arrogant brat who looked at me as if I was going to chew you up and spit you out. You were ‘family’ and yet were no different than anyone else I’d met since coming back. I was determined to dislike you.

“But then, I saw how sad you often looked whenever you thought I wasn’t paying attention.”

I felt myself jump with some alarm. Had I been that blatant?

“And then I realized that you were just like me,” she murmured. “You didn’t have anyone either. Not even a ryou to your name. I would never wish for this loneliness on anyone. Especially not a five-year-old child who suddenly lost everything while being so young.”

Her hand covered her mouth completely now.

“I don’t know how it happened,” she continued, her voice muffled. “I was so intent on hating you, on reassuring myself that we were nothing alike, that when _that_ happened, even I was surprised on how I just...reacted. I hated you for putting yourself in that position. I hated myself for caring. When did I start to care? Why? Hadn’t I lost enough?”

Anko’s hand fell to rest against her hip and her bottom lip trembled as she closed her eyes. “I don’t know why it happened. I’m so afraid of losing everything again but I can’t help it. Burying myself in work does nothing. Yamanaka-san’s always on my ass about taking care of you. Kurenai-chan thinks I’m going to crack soon. I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared, but all I want to do is take that plunge.”

I scrunched up my shoulders to try to make myself smaller. Why was she saying all this? She was making _me_ afraid now.

“But now,” she started again, “now that I know I might somehow take that jump, for you to admit that you won’t trust me, that you won’t let me in... That you don’t even care about yourself... What am I supposed to do?”

The second I saw a tear cascade down her cheek, I felt myself take a couple of steps forward involuntarily.

“I’m sorry, Anko,” I apologized miserably. “I just thought that... I didn’t know it would hurt you if kept silent about myself... I was just...”

I felt myself freeze when she looked over at me, her eyes brimming with tears even as she tried to maintain a strong front. I found myself admiring her tenacity, even if, to my shame, I was part of the reason for her tumultuous emotions.

Anko looked me straight in the eyes, her tears hiding none of the obvious distress she was under.

“Do you think me so much of a monster that I would be incapable of caring about you?”

It hurt me to hear her ask me that.

“No,” I replied honestly. “I’ve never thought of you as a monster in that manner. Have you ever scared me? Yes, you have.”

She turned away immediately, her shoulders slumping as she acknowledged what I said.

“But, do I regret having you for a sister? Not for a  single moment.”

Anko kept her gaze away from me. I frowned. “Anko, please look at me.”

She didn’t. She was resolute in her desire not to show me more of her defenseless self.

“Those bullies,” I began slowly. “One day I will get them back. I will prove to them that they’re wrong – about me, about you, about everything we both stand for. I will get stronger. I’m working hard on it. I don’t want to let you down. I want to make you proud. I trust you.”

Her shoulders tightened as she turned into herself and I sighed away some frustration.

I closed my eyes for a moment before opening them again. With only the barest of thoughts, I moved closer to my sister and wrapped my hands around her thighs, my head resting against her hip as I hugged her as tightly as I could manage. I felt her tense even more.

“I love you, Anko,” I whispered, and much to my surprise, I absolutely meant it.

I didn’t want her suffer by herself. I wanted to become stronger not just for my own sake, but hers. I hated that she felt that she was something less of a person because of what Orochimaru had done to her, and I hated that no one sought to understand how she felt. I hated how she couldn’t trust anyone to let them know how she really felt. I hated that I hadn’t figured this out sooner.

I think my words were the final pieces of straw to break the camel’s back. Anko slowly fell to her knees and her arms tenderly and hesitantly wrapped around my tiny body. I held mine around her neck tightly as I felt a warm wetness soak my night clothes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

“I am, too,” I admitted.

Neither of us moved from our position for over an hour and after that, I can say with little shame that I was content with curling up beside her in her bed as we both fell asleep. She didn’t have a single nightmare that night.

* * *

 

“What do you _mean_ you’re going on a mission for two months?” I yelped. “There’s only two weeks left until my first evaluation!”

Kurenai frowned apologetically at me from where she sat at the kitchen table next to Anko. My sister chose to ignore us.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” she admitted. “This kind of timing couldn’t have been worse, but I don’t have any say in the matter whatsoever.”

I sighed. It was hardly her fault that she was being pulled out for an extended mission. Hell, it was a miracle she’d been around the village as long as she had. I couldn’t really complain – I was about as ready as I was ever going to get in so short a time.

A little more than two months had passed since Anko and I had had our little spat-slash-confession and while I’d like to say that things had gone rather smoothly after that, I’d honestly be lying. Things rapidly became incredibly awkward between the both of us, and it was hard to have a serious conversation after that. We’d both admitted that we shared this strange trust between us, but we weren’t sure how to go about working around that trust and using it to our benefit. So, suffice to say, we skirted around the issue. Neither of us would ever doubt the other again as we’d used to, but... We simply were unsure of how to approach new issues.

Kurenai had already washed her hands of our current issue as soon as she found out, which was certainly understandable. If _we_ felt uncomfortable about it all, how the hell would that woman feel?

“Kurenai-chan,” Anko murmured, “what am I supposed to put into this box?”

My sister was doing our taxes, by the way. She should be happy that I could be used as a deductible. Thank God I didn’t have to deal with that crap anymore, at least for a long while.

The red-eyed beauty glanced down at the sheet, her index finger lingering on the spot before she drew away.

“That is the total sum of remuneration received from accepted and completed missions, minus incomplete missions’ remuneration, divided by the total number of missions as a whole,” Kurenai explained. “The next box has to do with the charges incurred for damages to property, whether personal or governmental, while on site for those missions. Ask me again once you figure those parts out.”

Anko groaned slightly and reached across the table for a few scrolls.

I gave her a pitying smile before frowning at Kurenai. “So, what am I supposed to do now? Do you know anyone else who could work with me?”

“Could?” asked Kurenai, her eyebrows raising. “Certainly. Would? That’s a bit tougher to answer.”

“What about that deadbeat boyfriend of yours?”

“He isn’t a deadbeat,” Kurenai protested with some irritation. “And we aren’t dating. How many times do I have to say that?”

Anko snorted. “Geez, Hotaru, you don’t know that much? In Kurenai’s world, being together with someone every second of every day while blushing and giggling next to him doesn’t much count as dating. They’re just the bestest best friends who just happen to be of different sexes. Who like kissing.”

I laughed as a rosy tint ran across Kurenai’s cheeks. The woman turned on Anko immediately.

“What was that?” she snapped. “You want to finish those taxes on your own? Why didn’t you say so then?”

Anko immediately lost her smile. She hurriedly grasped Kurenai’s wrist, eyes pleading.

“No, no, I’m sorry,” she apologized. “Please don’t leave me to do this by myself.”

“Just keep working on it,” Kurenai eventually muttered, her blush still plain as day on her face. Turning, then, to me, she shook her head. “I doubt Azuma’s interested in teaching anyone. With all the pressure Hokage-sama has put on him lately, I don’t think anyone really wants to be around him right now.”

Anko obviously had to bite her tongue to keep from making another remark. Those taxes must’ve really been giving her a hard time.

I sighed. “So, I’m out of luck.”

Kurenai grimaced. “With other teachers, yes. But, why look elsewhere when you’ve got someone available to teach you right here?”

I tilted my head and she unabashedly poked Anko on the shoulder. My sister shifted her attention away from the dreaded forms and frowned up at her friend.

“Why don’t you teach your sister while I’m gone?”

Anko stared at her. “Who, me?”

“Her?” I mimicked in a similar tone.

Kurenai frowned with some annoyance. “Have you ever once taken the time to teach your sister anything?”

Anko hesitated. “Well, no, but I...”

“Do it.”

Anko was taken aback by the order and seemed a bit hesitant about it all.

“But Kurenai-chan,” she began, her tone soft, “what if I...? I can’t...”

I saw Kurenai smile gently. “You’ve had your little talk, yes? Do you not trust her even after all that?”

“I trust her,” Anko said immediately before grimacing. She’d spoken without thinking.

I smiled, too. “I trust you, too.”

My sister spared me an almost shy smile before relenting. “Fine. I’ll take over her training.”

“Good,” Kurenai said approvingly. “I’m glad to hear it.”

My hands rolled into fists, my excitement building. “Ooo, ooo, does this mean I get to summon snakes now?”

Anko stared at me for a few moments before glaring at Kurenai, who shrugged as if to say, “don’t look at me”.


	10. Chapter 10

My right hand, baring a kunai, flashed up with a speed I hadn’t had months before to divert an oncoming weapon heading straight for my face and my feet kicked up off the ground to shift leftwards, my eyes never leaving my target. I sought her out, but she’d already disappeared from my field of vision as soon as I’d concentrated my attention elsewhere and lowered my center of gravity, hands already stumbling through seals to the only jutsu I had in my repertoire. Just as I’d reached the fourth seal, I felt something disrupt my attention and turned my attention downwards to the hand that had burst out from the dirt and grasped my ankle.

My mind blanked for the slightest of moments and within that short amount of time, Anko had resurfaced slightly and used chakra-enhanced strength to send my body flying across the ground and skidding through the dirt. I tried rising even as I fell back, although she was already on me, her leg pulled back and promising me severe pain.

“Fuck,” I muttered, flooding my entire right arm with chakra as her leg crashed against me and sent me airborne.

I soared through the air, hardly surprised when a chain whipped around my torso and abruptly stopped my momentum midair, making me wince as I felt my spine crack from the sudden strain. The chain tautened and I fell down back towards the earth as Anko flashed into existence, her hands forming the seal for Tiger.

...Damn it.

“Katon:,” Anko began, her chest expanding as she breathed in the necessary air as her right index finger and thumb encircled her mouth, “ _Ryuuka no Jutsu_!”

My first thought: Chakra fucking bomb time, bitch.

My second thought: No, fuck, those cost too damn much to use willy-nilly.

Third thought: I don’t really feel like burning right now.

Fourth: Goddamn it.

Time seemed to slow down as I reached for the pouch at my waist, my vest flipping up as I hurriedly pulled out an explosion tag, my chakra impacting it as I attached it right to the chain hugging around my waist. Anko’s eyes widened the slightest bit before she disappeared from my sight. She flashed in front of me and quickly released the chain before her previous attack could wind its way up the chain to me and I smirked. I’d known she’d think to save me.

I slammed my palm against her chest, or would have, had she not grabbed my wrist, spun me around in midair before launching me down with extraordinary strength straight at the ground. Anko then blitzed into view on the dirt right below me and directed a kick – gentle, by her standards – into my solar plexus and sending me rolling across the ground with all the elegance of a bumbling drunk. I slid to a halt with my face practically one with the dirt.

My hands slid across the ground, clenching into fists as I glared back at the current cause for my distress at that moment. I breathed in and out with large gasps, almost ready to see if I could try charging her for once to see how that would go. That was, however, until I saw her hands flying through yet another number of seals before once again landing on Tiger.

I felt my heart rate jump as I pushed myself and ran for the vegetation the second I heard:

“Katon: Goukyaku no Jutsu!”

What? What was this? Who the hell launched jutsu like that at someone who’d only been training for three months? What the fuck was she on? I was _five-years-old_!

I dove into some bushes, my eyes still wide and darting back and forth as I fought to come up with a plan. She was more aggressive today – she’d taken time off to train me every day for the past two weeks, and at first, she was “gentle”. I use quotes because Anko hadn’t bothered to do anything to me and simply had me run chakra building exercises.

Up and down the tree, up and down, up and down. What’s wrong with the leaf exercise, I dared to ask. Nothing, she’d responded with a bored tone. This just wasn’t the academy, so we weren’t going to do pointless games and tasks – she was teaching me to survive and grow into a capable kunoichi, not just for the underlying sake of learning and growing as a child. I was honored. Really.

Yes, thank you, Anko, for making me run all those laps as soon as I got out of school, and making sure to have checkpoints in specific areas so you could check to make sure I’d done as was told. Thanks for rigging a trap in my bedroom that could “kill” me if I didn’t wake up quickly enough to counter the attack. Thanks for hiding in the village and hiding your chakra signature so I could attempt to hunt you down and end up walking across the entire village a couple of times, only for you to be waiting at home each time with a small smirk.

Oh yeah. And _fucking_ , _thank_ , _you_ , for the _damn_ , _fucking_ snake summon that chases me _every fucking morning_ all the way to school to increase my endurance and stamina, because _everyone_ needs a venomous snake chasing them to feel good in the damned morning. Yeah, I love looking like I’ve just stepped out of a lake the moment I step into the classroom. God damn.

I flinched when I heard her crash through the brush, intentionally making herself loud for my benefit. My left hand darted into another pouch at my waist. I grabbed one long piece of paper and channeled chakra into just as Anko was throwing a punch at me. The smog burst into her face and she backed off immediately, coughs erupting from her mouth as she tried to catch her breath. I jumped out of the bushes and left a goodbye present as I fled for my life. The resounding explosion made me smile – I knew that she’d already escaped that bad situation, but hopefully, even more lackluster skills were keeping her on her game.

“I didn’t give you those to use against _me_ ,” my sister growled out, and I skidded to a halt when I saw her directly in front of me.

Her hands flew through more seals before she bit her thumb and slammed her right hand onto the ground. I cursed inwardly as tentacles of inked kanji ran across the ground away from her hand, forming a seal on the grass. I didn’t even bother waiting around to see how big a snake she’d summoned this time and was already dashing off into the trees to get as far away as possible. I grabbed a bunch of explosion tags out of my pouch, not even bothering to attach them to kunai and just plastering them on every single tree I passed.

When the chain of explosions ran through the forest, causing a small wildfire to race through the vegetation, that was when Anko stopped taking it easy on me. She escaped the billowing smoke and came around to my side, where she shouted with some annoyance,

“Sen’eijashu!”

Snakes flew from beneath her long-sleeved meshed shirt, their teeth anchoring onto my clothes and allowing her send me flying back into the cleared area. The snake she’d summoned earlier wrapped its long body around me, effectively locking me down and sealing my escape. Anko spared me a quick glance before she breathed in quickly and then ran through another series of hand seals. It took her nearly fifteen seconds to go through them all before motioned towards the river running close to the training ground and muttered,

“Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu!”

I jumped when a giant dragon – it wasn’t very big since Anko’s element was fire – rose up from the river and rocketed over the clearing into the trees still burning from my pyrotechnics. Anko breathed in and out almost heavily by this point – she’d used a lot of high ranking techniques within just the past hour, more than she’d used within the past near half-year, for sure. I grunted when I realized she was still preoccupied in drenching the forest and putting out the fire, and struggled to grab a kunai from one of my leg pouches. I swirled it around in my hand before stabbing it straight into the snake binding me.

It gave a soft scream before poofing out of existence, but Anko never took her gaze away from her work. I pushed myself up, beads of sweat running down my face as I clumsily forced my small, chubby fingers to form the seals of the one and only jutsu Kurenai had thought to teach me. To set the record straight, she only taught me because she knew I didn’t have the chakra to hold the jutsu for more than a few seconds without dying, and only because I’d begged her for something cool. She thought she’d been sly, but since every day was practically a death trap for me nowadays, though, why not just make the attempt anyway? Normal five-year-olds would be too scared to. I just want to hit Anko on my own, for once.

Horse. Monkey. Dog. Rabbit. It was odd to see that a jutsu would end with Rabbit, but that’s okay.

“Genjutsu: Fukashi no Kaze,” I muttered.

I bit back a groan, because just like every other time I’d attempted to perform this technique, I felt the chakra rip itself from my body to properly support the cloak of chakra that would cling to me and help me blend myself into my surroundings. I couldn’t hold such a difficult technique, so this wasn’t something I could do over and over again. Luckily, Anko hadn’t been made aware of my new acquisition. I’m certain much yelling would have occurred that night otherwise. So yelling, much scary.

I could barely even tell the difference between my hand and the environment around me as I lifted my right hand and gripped my fingers tightly around my kunai’s hilt. I was lucky that we were just training because using this technique in a real battle would have most certainly guaranteed my fate.

I dashed forward, kunai in hand as I attempted to slash across her thigh – it wasn’t real unless there was blood. Anko must’ve heard me coming, or felt my chakra signature come closer, because she spun around immediately, her eyes trying to focus on the threat but not seeing anything in front of her.

“What the hell?” she murmured out – she’d felt the threat, she knew someone was there, but the fact that she couldn’t see me confused her for  split second.

I tried stabbing her with my kunai but missed when she shifted to the side, her leg coming at me fast before lifting me and shooting me across the clearing to crash onto the ground and roll a few times. My jutsu faded out immediately as I groaned and stared up at the sky. As soon as the jutsu came apart, I was left feeling cold and out of sorts. Fuck, that jutsu as death in disguise.

I heard my sister run to my side, the first words out of her mouth being, “Hotaru, damn it, what the fuck?”

She cradled my head as she pulled me up to a sitting position. I turned my gaze to look into her concerned eyes as she checked my condition.

“What the hell was that?” she asked, steel underlying her voice.

“New jutsu?” I mumbled softly, feeling half-dead. She was decidedly not happy with that answer.

 “That was at least B-Rank. Where’d you get that?”

“Uh,” I started, choosing not to answer directly. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Anko eyes immediately narrowed dangerously and she _growled_.

“ _Kurenai_ ,” she snarled. “When you fucking get back...”

“To be fair, she didn’t believe I’d have enough chakra or ability in genjutsu to execute this technique.”

My sister’s eyes flew back to mine, her teeth baring as she snapped, “You don’t! In _fact_ , if it weren’t for the fact that you don’t know how to override your self-preservation instincts, you would have used every ounce of chakra in your body for a few seconds of camouflage.”

I tried to grin and just ignore the fact that I’d nearly gotten myself killed yet again, but she wasn’t having it. Anko pulled me up to my full height, her hands being the only reason I was standing at all. My head lolled back and I stared up at her long enough to see a number of emotions run across her face before she settled on a mask of impassiveness.

“I hereby forbid you use that technique until further notice.”

“ _What_?” I was quick to complain.

It was a knee-jerk reaction. I knew very well that I couldn’t use it again without better chakra control, or more chakra, or more knowledge of successfully executing the technique, and so on and so forth. I was probably just arguing for the sake of arguing at this point. It kind of took away the sting of being trounced so easily by someone who was hardly paying any attention.

That’s another thing: what the flying fuck did Orochimaru teach her? How the fuck did he teach her? What, did he pull a Ranma and throw her into a pit of snakes and tell her to have a blast? Or, was this just the normal power level for someone her age who’d been taught by a legendary shinobi? My sister was by no means normal.

Anko glared at me even further, but I just shook my head.

“Okay, okay. No more of that jutsu. I get it.”

The pressure emanating from her edged away slowly, and she shifted to situate me on her back to carry me more easily. I sighed a bit and rested my cheek against her back. I was exhausted. I felt Anko adjust me some before she finally began to walk forward. She first paused to look up at the still smoking trees, her head moving back and forth to assess the damage before she exhaled softly and turned around.

“How much is this going to cost me?” she seemed to ask herself softly.

My hands clutched at the back of her shirt as she then walked away from the training ground, her pace smooth but slow. My eyes closed as I grew used to her easy gait and it lulled me into a state of near sleep. I actually did fall asleep at some point along the journey until she roused me awake again. We were already back in the food district, which meant we were very close to home.

“Hey,” she said, catching my attention, and I opened my eyes to focus on her words.

Anko turned her head to look at me. “How about we try for another restaurant again?”

“You’re kidding, right?” I murmured, slightly annoyed that my rest had been disturbed. “Every single time we try to go somewhere, we always run into someone.”

I wasn’t joking. After that Ichiraku debacle months ago, we attempted to go out again the next week, and promptly ran into Asuma and Kurenai out on a “date-that-wasn’t-really-a-date”. That hadn’t been so bad, but a few weeks after that, we came across Gai and Kakashi. Gai had been interesting to meet, but Kakashi hadn’t yet forgotten the incident from when we’d first met, so had been none too pleased to see either one of us. Then, just two weeks ago, to give Kurenai a nice send-off, we attempted to go out for barbeque, and met Hyuuga Hiashi, his wife, and their daughter Hinata. Hiashi had looked at my sister with obvious disdain before requesting that _we_ either be kicked out or left to dine far, far away from them.

Seriously guys, _stay home_ if you have that much of an issue.

Anko fell silent and I immediately grew suspicious.

“Wait. _You’re_ the one who said we’d just stay home and eat in unless for really special occasions. Why the hell do you want to go out?”

She shrugged. “There’s somewhere we have to go first, and since we might get back late, I was thinking we might head out...”

I glared at her and tried pulling myself up higher. “Where? Where do we _have_ to go?”

“It’s been three months.”

“So?”

Anko made certain I couldn’t see her expression. “I have to report in about the mission.”

“What miss–,” I started before pausing and sliding back down her back.

Oh. That’s right. I’d somehow forgotten about all of that.

“I take it I have to be there, too?” I asked, my voice as flat and devoid of emotion as I could make it.

“Yes,” she replied softly.

Of course. Now, I was starting to doubt myself again and wonder if our little thing about trust and all had been so we could grow closer for the sake of the mission, or for the sake of our actual relationship. Fuck me, but I’d made up my mind to trust her thanks to her trying so hard and being family, but if this was all a ploy just to make sure she completed the mission parameters...

She stopped in front of the Hokage tower, and let me down off of her back. I scowled and tried to stay back and let her take the lead, but she grasped my hand firmly, her grip so strong that I wasn’t going anywhere unless she went with me.

“I trust you,” she affirmed, trying to make eye contact with me.

I grimaced. If this had all been for the sake of her mission...

She turned her gaze away, shoulders tensing as she pulled me after her into the building. We walked down the hallway and up the staircase and down another hallway before we arrived at the desk of the secretary. Anko walked up to the desk and bowed her head slightly.

“Mitarashi Anko, here to give a status report on my current mission. I believe I have an appointment.”

The secretary smiled gently before shuffling some paper and picking up a clipboard. She nodded and motioned for us to stay where we were while she checked to see if the Hokage was currently available or not. She came back moments later and waved us ahead.

Anko pulled me after her up to the large oaken doors before she knocked and announced her presence. As soon as the Hokage bid us entrance, we walked into the room with the door closing and locking behind us. Anko marched us towards his desk and stopped a short distance away. She bowed deeply.

“Hokage-sama.”

Hiruzen smiled amicably at the both of us, his hands folding together atop of his desk.

“Ah, yes, the Mitarashi sisters,” he said, addressing us as one. “It has been some time since I last saw the two of you. You seem more comfortable around one another now. That is good to see.”

I narrowed my eyes and frowned at him, though Anko’s grip around my hand tightened in warning. I stayed silent as she nodded shortly.

“I would never have thought this moment possible were it not for being assigned this mission.”

“Tell me, how have things fared between the two of you?”

I wanted to tell him to shove his fake concern. Neither of us were some ridiculous science experiment for him to test out and prove theories over. In fact, I’d have much rather preferred that he stop taking pages out of Inoichi’s book and stop butting into family affairs, or better yet, not have family bonding be the point of a mission.

Anko hesitated and I made no moves to even bother answering.

“There...is something I would like to discuss, Hokage-sama.”

Hiruzen turned his kind gaze over to her, but a frown showed itself on his face due to whatever expression he’d seen on hers. He turned back to look at me with a smile.

“You must be quite tired, Hotaru-chan,” he said with little hesitation. “Why not have a short nap while the two of us talk a bit more?”

What? I’m not going to sleep while you guys talk behind my –

* * *

My eyes opened to stare at a slightly blurry ceiling. I didn’t remember ever going to sleep and my bed was normally comfier than this and...

I sat straight up, my eyes wide as I looked quickly around me. The second I looked to left, I saw Anko standing in front of the Hokage, her expression dark as she stubbornly met the old man’s gaze. Her jaw was tightened and the muscles in her arms were filled with tension. My previous irritation forgotten as the pressure in the atmosphere blanketed and tried to suffocate me, I shifted my legs off of the couch to walk across the room to get a better look at Anko’s expression.

I couldn’t read it. I didn’t know what was going on, but whatever it was, she couldn’t actually tell me.

“By doing this, you understand, you may come out of this with nothing left,” Hiruzen said, capturing my attention. “There is no turning back, should you choose this path. Think of how Hotaru-chan will feel.”

I tilted my head somewhat and looked up at Anko, who only looked even more upset now.

“This is my decision,” she argued, her voice decisively clear. “Please do not attempt to sway me otherwise.”

I’d missed quite a bit. What was going on here?

“Very well,” the Hokage said, obviously less than pleased. “I rescind my previous order. You are free to act as you wish. Remember that this was your choice: any regrets you may have are your fault and yours alone, Anko-kun.”

My attention bounced between the two of them, back and forth, back and forth. What was going on?

“I understand,” Anko said finally. “Please excuse us.”

“Wait, what?” I barely managed before she grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the Hokage and out of the office.

I looked back to see the firm gaze of Hiruzen before the door closed, hiding him from sight. Anko didn’t even bother to acknowledge me as she dragged me out of the building and back toward our apartment. I stumbled every now and then because my short legs couldn’t match up with her pace.

“Wait, Anko, what’s going on?”

Her grip on my hand only tightened further and I clamped my mouth shut for another five to ten minutes of stumbling before I finally lost my patience in the merchant district and forcefully pulled my hand out of her grasp. Anko simply stopped walking, but did not turn to look at me, instead choosing to keep facing forward. If anything, the hand that held mine clenched into a fist, but she reacted no further than that.

“What’s going on?” I demanded to know for the last time. “I thought you were just reporting to the Hokage about your mission. How’d that go from that to putting me to sleep via genjutsu and then you storming out like that?”

Anko tensed more. “Let’s talk about this at home.”

“No, damn it,” I said angrily. “You’ll probably just use that excuse and then once we’re back, you won’t tell me a damn thing. No, you’re telling me _now_.”

“Hotaru,” she hissed warningly. “Not now. Please, let’s discuss this when we get back.”

“Discuss _what_? What’s so big a deal that we have to wait for someplace more private? Your mission was just to watch over me, right? What’s the big deal about that? What sensitive information could there be about that?”

She turned slightly to look at me. Her gaze chilled me.

“I promise to tell you when we get back, so please...”

I didn’t get it. If she had just given me some kind of hint to stew over, I would’ve been fine, but she made everything sound so secretive, that my curiosity wouldn’t allow me to wait any further. Ah, the child in me just wanted to throw more a temper tantrum.

“You promise?” I asked, trying to tamp down on my curiosity.

“Yes,” she said simply, eyes emotionless.

I shut my mouth again tightly, and heaved a heavy sigh. Fine. _Fine_. I could wait. She didn’t seem like she was going to run away from telling me, and she never reneged on her promises anyway, so I could wait. I just really didn’t want to.

She turned back to face forward again and walked on without ever glancing back to see if I was following. I walked after her the entire rest of the way, up the stairs, down the corridor, and right to our apartment door. Anko pulled out her keys and unlocked the door and we both walked in. She made it all the way into the living room before stopping completely.

I popped my neck before finally asking, “So? What’s the big deal?”

Anko didn’t say anything at first before replying softly, “I asked the Hokage to negate my mission contract.”

I felt my eyes widen as I stared at her. Wait, that meant...

“So, you’re not in charge of me anymore,” I realized. “What, was dealing with me every day too much for you?”

“That wasn’t it,” Anko replied harshly. “I just couldn’t take this farce anymore. I don’t want to be bound to a contract for something like this.”

“Something like this?” I asked with some disbelief. “So, what, you’re just going to give up on me?”

“I’m not giving up!” she finally burst out with, glaring at me. “I just couldn’t take it anymore! This isn’t right – there’s nothing right about being forced to be with family out of some misbegotten order from my village. I didn’t want to live under the pretense of a mission anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

Anko turned away. “How many times have you wondered if I’ve done something because I’m supposed to, or genuinely wanted to?”

Too many times to count. Okay, I get it now.

“So,” I started, “what happens now? Now that you don’t _have_ to watch over me, what comes next?”

She hesitated before sighing. “Nothing _needs_ to change. We can continue living together as if nothing changed, as if we were never bound to anything in the first place.”

“Or?”

Anko’s eyes narrowed, but she wasn’t looking at me. “You’re no longer bound to stay here. If you really wanted, you could leave. The orphanage is still available, or an apartment if you wanted it...”

I tilted my head. “So, I could just, _leave_ if I wanted? No red tape or anything?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “That’s right.”

“I could just get an apartment and pretend we’d never even met before?”

“If you wanted.”

“I could leave, right now, and you wouldn’t stop me?”

Anko nodded once. “Yes.”

“Huh. Okay then,” I said, glancing over at the refrigerator real quick before looking back at her. “One last question: do you regret anything about this experience?”

She tensed again, her expression darkening further. “There are some things, yes.”

“That’s too bad,” I said, getting her attention again. “I don’t regret a damn thing. Anyway, let’s get going.”

Her head popped up and she looked at me with some surprise. “Go...? Go where?”

I frowned at her. “You could’ve told me all of that before, but _no_ , you wanted to be in your safe haven first. That’s cool, but I’m still hungry.”

She seemed confused still. “But wait, what do you plan to do? Will you be going to the orphanage again?”

My frown deepened. “Do you _want_ me to go back to the orphanage or get my own place?”

“No,” she answered with some anxiousness.

“Do you _want_ me to leave?”

Again, she replied, “No.”

I clapped my hands. “Good. Problem solved. Let’s go eat.”

Anko continued to stare at me and I sighed. I walked up to her and grabbed her hand.

“I trust you,” I told her directly, replying to what she’d said to me before talking to the Hokage.

She said nothing for a moment, only gripping my hand a bit more tightly. Then, she gave a soft smile.

“Okay,” she finally responded. “Where to?”


	11. Chapter 11

I ran across the living room to the foyer, tugging on my vest as I simultaneously tried slipping on my sandals. Anko frowned from where she sat on the couch, her eyes narrowing at me when I turned to say bye.

"What about dinner?" she asked, still frowning but not moving from where she sat.

I grimaced. This would be second week in a row that I'd missed eating with her for dinner. It was practically one of the only times we were alone together anymore since Kurenai came back from her mission. Now they both trained me together – Kurenai with the solid basics and finesse of katas, forms, and overall follow-through, and Anko with drawing on that learnt knowledge with practical application. Aside of dinner time, we never even saw each other much enough to have actual private conversation. She woke up early to go to work to compensate for leaving early to train me, and then went to bed almost immediately after dinner was finished. I woke up fairly early myself, but it made little sense to get up with her at four in the morning just so I could watch her get ready to go. To be honest, I missed our bonding times.

"Sorry," I said hurriedly, hand already turning the door handle so I could leave. "Eat without me. I'm really sorry, Anko."

She looked back to the papers in her lap. "I don't get why you have to spend extra time at the academy this late anyway. I don't remember there being tutors available long after school finished when I was there."

I chuckled awkwardly. "Well, hey, come on. You graduated over four years ago. You can't expect everything to stay the same. Anyway, got to go!"

I ducked out of the apartment and let the door close on its own as I ran down the hallway to head outside. First tying on the forehead protector I'd grabbed before leaving the apartment, I then pulled out a mini-timer from my pocket and filled it with chakra, immediately satisfied when I saw the zeros light up on the screen. As soon as I pressed one of the buttons and the nanoseconds began recording, I was pushing off of the metal fence and onto the roof on the opposite of the street. I channeled chakra through my legs and pushed my body to speed off at faster and faster intervals. My speed was nothing compared to an active genin, but if I was to laud anything about myself, it would be my speed.

Anko's little idea about having a snake slither after me everywhere had definitely had good results. I learned to control the allocation of my chakra subconsciously, allowing for more comprehensive thought patterns concerning what possible paths would take me where fastest. I also never got bit anymore, after the first month or so of that hell. I got used to the speed and could outrun the tiny – read: incredibly weak – summon without too much trouble.

Then, she decided I was becoming too arrogant and wrote seals into my clothes and sandals. I was now getting bit every damn day. Thank God the damn summon was still a fucking baby.

Thanks Obama. I mean, Anko.

I clapped my hands together for a focal point to concentrate on as I focused my chakra to fight against my weights and give me greater speed. I hit the edge of one roof and instead of falling directly downwards, went down at an angle to hit the wall of an opposite building and then leap to the road from there. The second I looked up to see ahead of me, I frowned as I saw all of the obstacles standing in front of me.

A flashback to when bombed me with a bunch of weak fire jutsu ran across my mind and gritted my teeth.

I slammed my left foot onto the ground, pushing away with a flash of chakra as I dodged through one group of people to an open space on the other side of the road. My eyes were already searching for another gap as my right foot touched the ground for a half-second before I was already moving in a different direction again. I dodged past one person after another, excluding the shinobi. I knew which ones were shinobi because they just glanced at me before I reached them and edged out of the way just barely enough that they wouldn't become collateral damage if I timed a step wrong. The civilians just looked at me with some annoyance as I passed around them. Eh, irritation, I could deal with.

Turning a corner, I ducked into one specific store and quickly pressed a button on my timer to see my time as I breathed in and out with quick breaths. Eight minutes, twenty-three seconds, seventy-two nanoseconds.

Damn. That was nearly half a minute slower than my best time. That wasn't good.

"You're late."

I frowned as I looked across the store at the master who only spared me an expression of annoyance. I adjusted my vest as I walked in deeper into the store towards him.

"My sister held me up a bit longer than expected," I explained, looking down at a few packages stacked up. They looked heavy.

The master gently patted one of the packages. "These are all of the old kunai and metals picked up from various training grounds. This is our project for today."

Crap. I shouldn't have worn my vest today.

"Where should I carry them?" I asked, placing my hands on one box.

The master shoved me away from it, sending me spilling onto the ground. He stood in front of the old metal protectively, as if I was somehow going to eat them for dinner or something.

"You're tendin' to the heat, today, kid," he instructed gruffly, pointing his finger towards the kiln. "I want that hearth to be nice and hot and at an even temperature today, or I swear I'm goin' to toss you in there myself."

I started. "Wait, I thought you said no more working with the kiln?"

It wasn't my fault I'd melted something I shouldn't have. Luckily, it had just been a horseshoe, but still.

"I've got too much stock to be worryin' any 'bout stuff on the grounds. You want that money? Best get to movin', brat. We only got two hours to work 'for I have to kick you out."

I nodded, standing up and jogging across the store to pull off a thick cloth hanging from a hook and wrapped it around my head so it would catch my sweat. I then pulled off my vest and stuck it on the hook instead before grabbing a log and tossing it into the cage beneath the kiln. A lit match went in next before I grabbed a pair of hand-bellows to start the long, annoying process of getting everything heated up. After ten minutes of preparation, the master began tossing in one piece of metal after another. I just continued to measure the amount of heat being funneled.

He called for tongs after some time had passed and I jumped up from my position to grab a pair and give them to him. He pulled out some deformed metal pieces and set them on an anvil to start molding them into new, sharper, better kunai.

"Keep that hearth running strong, girl," he ordered.

I wiped my cheek against my shirt to rid myself of the sweat as I occupied myself with adding more wood to the fire. I heard the giant sizzle some time later as the new kunai was dipped into a vat of water for the initial cooling process, and I felt myself sigh as it started getting humid on top of the already acrid heat.

A brief sense of displacement hit me as I felt exhaustion grab a hold of my consciousness. Dizziness followed a second later but I shook it away to concentrate again on my current task. Using hand-bellows always tired me incredibly since I simply didn't have the stamina or strength to keep using one for over an hour straight. Hell, the stupid tool was practically as big as I was.

When the old man said it was time to finally move today's products into the setting room, I sighed with relief and wiped my face again with my shirt. That meant I could start the process of cooling down the kiln in a timely manner so that the shift in temperature didn't cause irreparable harm to the device. I tiredly stood up and walked across the fire room to get a shovel and broom. With the shovel, I reached deep into the chasm of the kiln's bottom to pull out the remains of the fire and clean it so that nothing would cause problems for next time's use.

Normally, kilns were never supposed to be allowed to be cooled, but chakra allowed for blacksmiths to not worry so much about this part. The chakra trapped the heat, but only at a certain temperature – otherwise, it had to be manned constantly. Meh, it wasn't my field of expertise, so I couldn't say I really cared one way or another.

As soon as I was done throwing out the waste and used charcoal, I stood up only to come face-to-face with my boss. He shoved six hundred ryou into my hands and motioned with his thumb for me to get the hell out. I looked tiredly on as he walked away and then back to the money in my hands. Exhaling softly, I moved to get my vest off of the hook and reached in to get my coin purse out. I pushed the money in and then put the bag back into my pocket. The second my vest was back over my torso, I heard a loud  _ahem_  and nodded slowly. As I walked out of the store, the man glared down at me.

"Best be here again on time this Monday, brat, or the deal's off."

"I'll be here," I promised warily.

I turned away as the shop's doors slid shut with a loud bang and walked down the street, readying myself for the long trek home. I pulled off the forehead protector that I'd put on earlier. I looked at the thing and sighed – one day, Anko was going to figure out that I kept stealing hers and then I'd be in loads of trouble. I was safe for now because she had no reason not to trust me and wouldn't think so wrongly of me to attempt such a thing, but if I couldn't find a way to continue stalling her, she was going to start hunting down the truth herself. I rubbed the metal with my hand as I continued walking.

What I was doing was illegal – there were no ifs, ands, or buts about that. I was  _not_  supposed to be playing the role of the pitiful genin, acting as if I were older than I was, and vying for work to make a quick buck. I grimaced from guilt as I always did after my part-time job finished before my eyes caught a hold of glittering piece of metal in the window of a store. Like every other evening, I automatically walked straight up to it, staring at the beautiful piece of work.

It was a tantou not unlike what the ANBU or Root might use, but it was different in that it had pockets of chakra enhanced metal melded into it. The tantou would allow for one particular element for chakra manipulation, and the user could then channel their chakra into it and voila: wind tantou, or fire tantou, or whatever. But, because it only allowed one particular element, and because it automatically registered only one type of chakra signature, it meant the weapon couldn't be used by anyone else to its full potential. Because of this, though, it was wickedly expensive. It actually cost around 30,000 ryou. To date, I had approximately 10,400 ryou. I had nowhere near enough.

I'd made a deal with the one blacksmith and he paid me about six hundred ryou for an inside job, and anywhere from one thousand to two thousand for any outside jobs or deliveries. I'd also been lucky enough to make a deal with the maker of this particular tantou – if I babysat his children each weekend, he would mark down the tantou for me by nearly two thousand ryou each day if I watched the brats for five hours plus. That meant the total, providing he didn't sell out of the special weapon before I managed to get my hands on it, was currently at around 26,000 ryou. If I babysat tomorrow and Sunday, too, it would be down to 22,000 ryou, and I would be halfway there. A couple of outside jobs for the blacksmith and one more weekend would probably allow me to make enough money to finally get it.

And, I  _really_  wanted the damn thing.

It's been over six months since Anko has gotten back into the swing of things in Konoha, and the Hokage is deeming her worthy of proving herself in duty once again come early October. She'll be joining an active team of chuunin to see how she works alongside others and whether she has any peculiarities that need addressing. She was both excited and overly concerned about what would happen if she left the village and ran into any trouble. That's neither here nor there, though.

Anko's birthday wasn't for yet another month, but I was determined to get her this weapon before she went on her mission even if I had to run myself ragged. She's a close-range fighter anyway, and this would be an excellent way to allow her to catch her enemies off guard. The weapon was so expensive and intricately made that most shinobi didn't bother buying them. Plus, if someone happened to drop it somewhere... It honestly wasn't worth all the trouble of buying it compared t buying lesser brands for cheaper and with more bulk.

I looked back at the forehead protector before sighing. But  _damned_  if I didn't feel guilty for how I was going about doing this.

Thirty minutes later, the scorched, charred, and slovenly me trudged into the apartment, my sandals kicked to the side as soon as I was inside. The light was still on in the living room, but Anko had already retired for the night. I frowned when I saw a bowl of something sitting on the kitchen table and ran a hand through my hair. It was getting longer, and was at this awkward stage where I didn't really know how to style it and make it look cool. So I just ruffled it every day and said the hell with it.

I shuffled quietly down the hall towards Anko's room. Opening the door as softly as I could, I tip-toed in towards her bed.

"I'm back," I whispered, knowing that she'd been aware of my presence from the moment I got home.

"You smell burnt," she muttered, her voice gravelly from having been woken up.

"Fire jutsu do that," I joked tiredly, sneakily placing the hitai-ate back where I'd first stolen it.

She mumbled something before turning away from me and going back to sleep, now secure in the fact that I was home and safe. I chuckled and turned to leave, closing the door gently behind me. Back in the living room, I looked down at the bowl and sighed. I was too tired to eat yet again, so I'd have to just save the meal for breakfast. That was a shame – it looked like she'd made ochazuke, and I loved that dish. Warming it up would take away from the flavor, but I just didn't have the energy to eat it.

I picked the bowl up and stuffed the entire thing into the refrigerator before turning off the living room light and heading into the bathroom to take a much needed shower. As soon as I was into my pajamas, I fell onto my bed and fell asleep immediately, not even taking the time to get under the covers. I'm sure I was quite the sight to see when Anko woke up the next morning, because I found myself wrapped under my blanket as if I'd just gone to be normally when I finally woke up.

I'll say something for my new after school and training activity – it definitely increased my workload, and on top of that, my stress levels. I never saw Anko, and would never consider snapping at my teachers at school, but, every now and then, I would find a wonderful outlet in the form of the most annoying little cockroach.

The following Monday after a wonderful, absolutely riveting weekend of babysitting, Rouri and his band of goons faced me at one corner of the playground when we let out for recess, and needless to say, I was not pleased.

"Hey, look who it is," Rouri said with a quick smirk. "Our little faggot, come to play."

I looked around to see if anyone was watching before my eyes found his again. I didn't say anything since it always seemed to piss him off so much.

My bully snarled at me and reached for my vest. I navigated with my left wrist to push his away before grabbing onto his wrist, tugging him down, to his extreme surprise, and landing a fist straight into his nose. Yuuya yelled out as reached for me, but evaded him, my hands running through the seals for my one and only jutsu.

"Genjutsu: Fukashi no Kaze," I murmured, grimacing when I felt my chakra sucked out to allow for the genjutsu to take hold.

I saw them gasp as I disappeared from in front of their very eyes, and quickly placed a very low-grade explosion tag at their feet – eh, it might give them first-degree burns, but oh well – and ducking around them as I felt my jutsu come apart. I clapped my hands into the Tiger seal and shouted,

"Katon: Fuck You Motherfuckers!"

They barely had enough time to register the danger before the tag burst into a small explosion, throwing them all back. I narrowed my eyes at them as I saw Rouri seek me out from where he still lay on the ground, slightly charred, but more or less just fine. I stood still glaring at them for a few seconds before turning around and walking towards the school building as all of the other students stared at the results of my actions. My homeroom teacher, whose name I finally knew to be Watanabe Maria, took one look at me and then at my bullies before closing her mouth and letting me pass by without a word. Rouri shouted for her to punish me, but Maria-sensei never looked back my way even once as I went back inside.

I sagged against the wall as exhaustion hit me from usage of my jutsu.

Hours later, after classes were over, my teacher pulled me aside, eyes narrowed at me.

"Was that necessary?" she asked me as I turned my gaze away.

"Do you feel less guilty now after ignoring me the first time around?"

Maria-sensei's mouth firmed. "So, this is comeuppance, is it?"

My head tilted to the side as I felt a wave of extreme tiredness pass over me. Damn it, I still had nearly three hours of training and then two hours of work after this. Perhaps I was pushing my young body a bit too hard.

"Do you know why bullying exists?" I asked her, feeling ready to just drop to the floor and fall asleep.

She took in a deep breath. "Because there is no one to tell them no, I would suppose."

I nodded with a small smile. "Perhaps you should be the first to let them figure that out."

"No, no," she denied, shaking her head. "I'll leave that up to you, in exchange for not telling Mitarashi-san about your little afterschool activities."

I froze and my gaze swiveled over to her. I daresay my hands automatically reached for my practice kunai out of habit.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to play dumb.

Maria-sensei frowned down at me. "She came here over the weekend, inquiring about what sort of game we were playing with our afterschool program. You're lucky, Hotaru. If I hadn't seen you working every evening under the guise of a genin, I wouldn't have been able to cover for you."

"How did you...?" I trailed off, giving up on acting as if I didn't have a clue.

"I live across the street from that blacksmith," Maria-sensei explained without pretense. "On the second floor. I know that man very well. He and I also had a discussion about how you're actually my student."

"You what?" I ground out. "I need that job! How dare you –"

"Relax," my teacher said softly. "He knows what's going on. Look, I don't know why you need the money, and I don't know why you're playing the role of a genin, but if you help me out with that, I can keep lying for you, if need be.  _That_  is how I will feel less guilty for that previous incident."

I frowned. "I don't trust you."

"As well you shouldn't, but do you really have much choice in the matter?"

That was a no on my part. I didn't, and if Anko found out, she'd skin me alive for lying and playing her. Goddamn it.

"It's for my sister's birthday," I muttered out some time later. "The gift is really expensive, and I can't get a job as a normal five-year-old."

"Good answer," my teacher replied with a soft smile. "For the record, he knew you weren't a genin. You probably just looked so pathetic that he couldn't really refuse. Plus, he needed the help."

"So, what happens now?"

Maria-sensei exhaled through her nose as she looked out a window overlooking the playground. I saw her suddenly sharpen her focus on something before she finally turned back to me.

"Seems like your sister is waiting for you outside of the gate. I'll make this quick – as a teacher and your instructor, I must say that I cannot, in any capacity, condone your activities as of late. Lying, stealing, using underhanded methods to achieve your goals... This is hardly suitable behavior for a child such as yourself, considering all matters of morality and such."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "But?"

"But, let's face it," she continued, looking back out the window. "As a shinobi myself, I can hardly,  _truly_ , label that as reprehensible behavior. Rather, I should be proud that you have learned to operate in such avenues at so young an age. I'm as proud as I am disappointed – children shouldn't have to grow up so fast."

"So, you'll keep my secret?"

"For now. I won't be able to keep Mitarashi-san in the dark for much longer, I'm afraid."

After assuming my sister had been kept waiting long enough, Maria-sensei escorted me out of the building to the main entrance where Anko and Kurenai were leaning against the fence, waiting for me to come out. My sister glanced at me briefly before giving her full attention to Maria-sensei. The latter just smiled down at me.

"Good luck with training, and I will see you for your remedial lessons later this evening."

Anko frowned somewhat but wasn't able to say anything as Kurenai came up to her side and spoke first.

"I find it rather odd that you would have lessons so late in the evening," Kurenai pointed out. "I thought the school was leaving her training up to outside sources."

Maria-sensei nodded swiftly. "While we do legitimately have training for those students who don't quite grasp the odd concept every now and then, I'm afraid we cannot put any more effort into Hotaru's overall menu due to the agreement drawn up before she began school in April. As it has already been made perfectly clear that she is to seek guidance elsewhere, it would reflect poorly on our institution to take on that task regardless of the previous agreement. However, while we may not be able to teach her new techniques or methods of fighting, that is not to say we cannot work off of already learnt material and help her understand what she's been taught more thoroughly."

Anko appeared a bit miffed by this train of logic. She turned towards me, her eyes narrowed slightly. "If there was something you didn't get, you could've just asked us."

"Pardon me, Mitarashi-san," Maria-sensei interjected quickly, regaining Anko's attention, "but please understand that neither of you are in fact instructors in any capacity. Knowing material and knowing how to  _teach_  said material are two completely different constructs. Just because you understand something does not in any way indicate that you suitable for teaching it yourself. Practical application is wonderful, but sometimes, one needs to know the theories behind movements before the information is truly absorbed."

I stared up at my homeroom teacher, kind of perturbed by how easily she'd made her argument. She was good, and the fact that she was mixing up enough truth to make the lies seem plausible was somewhat incredible. I could even see Anko mulling over it, unable to really dispute it. Kurenai hadn't said anything either so far, which meant she didn't know much of what would be good to say.

Maria-sensei smiled. "You find yourself at odds with my words, but allow me to tell you I am perfectly capable of carrying the reins of what you've taught young Hotaru here. I am a specialized jounin myself. I simply take more pleasure out of teaching than I do fighting in the field."

I gaped some more. She was a jounin? What.

My teacher grinned and winked down at me and I automatically shuddered, feeling nothing short of repulsed by that action. Why do people  _do_  that? It's wrong and disturbing.

I turned away from Maria-sensei and grasped Anko's hand, forcing her to look down at me.

"I just did what I thought was best. Besides, don't you think five hours training with you every day is a bit overkill?"

She didn't say anything for a little while before frowning more deeply.

"What are you doing every day that makes you smell like you've been burnt?"

I tilted my head, quickly replying, "Evasion techniques. Fire hurts more than water at this stage, and I wouldn't survive having chunks of rocks thrown at me or gusts of wind that I can't see."

Her brown eyes, full of irritation, turned back to look at my teacher, but she silently bowed her head before turning away, her hand firmly grasping mine. I bit my bottom lip as the three of us walked away from my teacher, guilt gnawing at my nerves yet again. Anko couldn't be fooled like this for much longer.

I hadn't realized just how suspicious she'd become until over a week later, when I realized I'd finally accrued almost shy of five thousand ryou less than the posted price. I'd come home after a particularly tedious evening of raking some training grounds for old metal and used weaponry to say my greetings to her before she went to sleep and I fell into the realm of unconsciousness.

"Why do you take my forehead protector every day?" she asked me, causing me to jolt in surprise and then grit my teeth as I sought to come up with a decent answer.

"It keeps me safe," I eventually said, my lame excuse causing me to wince inwardly.

It actually kind of did – no one really questioned me when I ran across roofs when I had that thing on. No one bothered me when they saw me hunting for supplies, and no one disturbed me when they saw me doing something a normal five-year-old wouldn't be. I could say that it protected my head from all the remedial training that I was supposedly undertaking at the academy, and that would probably be true enough, if I really actually were involving myself with such.

"I don't like having to do this," I finally admitted, realizing this was one of the few truths I'd told for the past month.

I really didn't enjoy my current role. I didn't like the idea of going behind Anko's back to achieve this, but I felt that if I didn't this with my own blood, sweat, and tears, it wouldn't hold as much meaning. It would detract from what I've been working towards this entire time.

Just another week, I chanted in my head. Anko would leave on Saturday. I had five days to scrape up the remaining 4,600 ryou. Hopefully, I would get an outside job because last week was all working at the kiln. I needed a least one outside job. Just one. No, two. One large one, or two small outside jobs. Then I would have enough. Just a little bit more.

"I really wish you wouldn't," Anko murmured softly, her face turned away from me and looking at the far side of her room.

Crap. Now I'd have to be extra careful to make sure I wasn't caught.

"All right," I finally conceded. "I'm sorry."

I left her room feeling less confident about my plan than ever before.

Just one more week, for better or for worse.

* * *

I plastered myself against the store window, my breath heaving in and out harshly as I stared at the gem sparkling inside. I  _finally_  had enough money to buy the sucker, and had done it in five days to boot! Two outside jobs and three inside jobs would now leave me with two hundred extra ryou to do what I would with it. I was finally finished. But, it was late Friday night, and two my consternation, the shop was closed.

Damn it. Anko would be leaving bright and early at five in the morning. The shop wouldn't open again until ten on a Saturday. I had to buy it  _now_ , so why was the shop  _closed_?

I banged on the door a few times, pleading for someone to open up. I kept banging until a light in the store flickered on and the owner was at the door, peering down at me with a raised eyebrow.

"We're closed, Hotaru."

"I know, I know!" I quickly exclaimed, holding out my purse bursting with the money I'd saved up. "But she leaves tomorrow at five! If I don't buy it now, then it will feel like I've failed! Please, I know you're tired, but please..."

He sighed and held out his hand. I quickly placed my purse into his palm, watching as he walked back into the store and gestured for me to follow. I shuffled in, my eyes catching the glint of the weapon I wanted so badly before watching him count out each note methodically.

"Let's see. I've got a total of 20,000 ryou here," he began, writing down the numbers before looking at a ledger, "and I promised you a 2,000 ryou mark down for each time you babysat my children. That puts the official selling price at 18,000 ryou for six days' worth of babysitting, – that was a big help, by the way – which means you have surpassed your goal and have an additional 2,000 ryou to keep for yourself."

I bounced on the balls of my feet as I watched him go into the back of his store before coming out with a beautiful onyx box with a golden clasp. He gingerly set the box on the front counter and flicked open the clasp. Pulling back the lid gently, he grasped the box and held it down low enough for me to see the beautiful silver edge of the tantou and its accompanying sheath. I stared at it, almost disbelieving that I was able to buy such a magnificent piece of work. I could see the indents of where the chakra pathways were embossed, with each tendril looping around the blade but hardly diminishing from its sharp edge or elegance. I dearly wished to touch it, but that would have made this entire ordeal pointless.

"Is there something you would like embroidered onto it?" the owner asked me kindly.

My eyes immediately flashed up to look at him. "You can do that? But I thought that it couldn't be touched anymore?"

"For a price," he answered with a grin. "And I just can't touch it with my hands. That's not to say I can't touch it with my tools."

Oh. That made sense.

He rose, the box still in his hands. "What would you like for it to say? And in what color? Gold, or silver?"

I hesitated for a few seconds.

"Gold. Please just make it say 'Anko'."

* * *

I had a late start that morning. The embellishing had taken over an hour, so I hadn't gotten to bed until almost midnight. Rising at four had been too difficult for me, and so I'd slept late until nearly a quarter until five. It was with a furious stream of curses that I'd jumped out of bed, shoved on some clothes, and grabbed the box before racing out the door. I didn't bother to comb my hair or make sure I was even dressed properly – those things didn't matter at this moment.

I jumped from roof to roof, both of my hands holding tightly onto the box as I pushed myself for the speed I didn't quite have yet, especially not with my less-than-pleasant start to the day. By the time I'd reached the gates, Anko and the team she was working with for that mission were already walking down the path away from Konoha. I made as if to run out after them, but a ninja I'd never seen before appeared in my path, blocking me from leaving. I pushed against him, my left hand securely around the box, but he wasn't having any of that. Damn it!

"Anko!" I suddenly shouted, not wanting to lose this chance. "Anko! Anko! Wait, come back!"

For a moment, I was afraid she hadn't heard me. I tried moving around the shinobi again, but he just gently forced me back away from the gates. I was starting to think I really had been too late.

When I saw her small, lithe body pause a moment and slowly turn around to glance behind her, I began struggling anew for all I was worth. Anko motioned to the other ninja before jogging back to the main gates where I was standing, still breathing ridiculously hard. Were this any other day, she would have teased me for my inability to do something so basic.

"I don't have much time," Anko said as soon as she reached me, though she did direct the guard to leave me alone. "Make it quick."

I breathed in and out, trying to catch my breath as best I could. Shakily, I held out the box to her, my arms trembling.

Anko looked down at it with some confusion. "What's this?"

"I, uh," I gasped before taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I know your birthday's in a few weeks, but I figured that since this was your first big mission for such a long time, that I'd give you your present now."

Anko's eyes widened slightly and she stared down at the box in her hands. By this time, her fellow teammates had moseyed back, curious as to what the holdup was. Anko frowned as she tentatively unclasped the lock and opened the box. I saw her eyes widen further and she froze as if in shock. The jounin – at least, I think he was a jounin – let out a slow whistle of appreciation when he saw the weapon. Anko just stared at her new gift before her eyes slowly sought out mine.

"What...is this?" she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.

"Happy Birthday, Anko!" I chirped with more energy than I felt I had. "Kick some ass!"

I saw her mouth open and then close shut a few times, no words leaving her lips. Her fingers pressed against the box more tightly as the muscles in her arms tautened. I'm sure that had we been alone, she might've cried, but as it was, she simply gave me back the box, reached into it to grab the tantou and its sheath before channeling some chakra into it. The weapon came to life as fire suddenly blazed around it before cutting out as she broke up the link. Anko slid its edge into the sheath and then tied it to hold at the small of her back for easy access. She turned to look at me again.

"Was that what this whole thing was about?"

I just grinned.

She smiled back before all emotion slipped away from her face. "We'll discuss this later. For now, I need to go."

"Okay," I agreed. "Take care. Stay safe and fight hard."

Another whisper of a grin flitted across her face before she nodded. "Will do. And Hotaru?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."


	12. Chapter 12

I snuggled up deeper into the covers. The winter was actually pretty damn chilly when you didn't have a heater in your apartment. Konoha normally has high temperatures three seasons out of four, so for it to suddenly plummet from twenty degree temps down to the teens and sometimes lower was somewhat jarring. It was kind of humiliating for me – I'd already lived in cold places before, but my new body wasn't used to chillier temperatures. I've never had an opportunity to leave the village before. I was kind of looking forward to becoming a genin, because even if it meant I would essentially be doing chores across the village for a while, I still had an opportunity to leave and head elsewhere.

A knock came to my door as I buried my head underneath my pillow.

"Get up. Breakfast's ready," came the soft voice of my sister.

"It's cold," I whined. "I'll eat later."

There was a pause on her end before she threatened, "I could always throw a fire jutsu into your bed for further incentive. Don't think I won't."

My covers were off in a flash, only for me to shiver as a blast of cold air hit me. As my feet touched down on the freezing cold, wooden floors, I pattered across my room to open the door as Anko looked down at me. Seeking warmth, I threw my arms around one of her legs and stuck to her like glue.

"Gah," she muttered, nearly losing her balance. "If you actually put some clothes on, you wouldn't be so cold."

I clung harder to her. "If you actually bought a heater, I wouldn't have to worry about it."

"You're the one who warned me about conserving our money... Put on a sweatshirt if you're so cold."

I just nuzzled my nose into her sweats and heard her sigh. Then, without my being able to duck away, she tucked her hands underneath my arms and lifted me up to eye level with her. I saw her shake her head before taking two steps into my room and launching me back onto my bed. I allowed myself to roll halfway over and then jumped up and did a small backwards flip. By the time I landed on my feet, she was already gone back down the hallway. I felt myself scowl. That had been completely unnecessary.

Five minutes later, I was all dressed for the day. I took a glance at the clock and grumbled when I saw the numbers flip to six-thirty-two in the morning. I was up way too early today, like all days, but if I didn't get up now, I'd never really have time to see Anko anymore. She worked a very odd schedule lately. Normally, she'd work from around seven to three, when I got out of school. She would train with me, sometimes, and then go straight back to work for another number of hours. We didn't eat dinner together anymore, and lunch was pretty much nonexistent. When she wasn't working at T&I, Anko was off on one mission after another, though the highest ranking she'd touched as of late was B. Still, B-Ranked missions brought in a good source of income, and so long as she kept up the hours at her normal job, we led a pretty comfortable life. She was doing damn well for a teenager with a dependent.

I yawned as I shuffled into the kitchen area and sat in my chair. I grinned when I saw the pancakes. She never made me pancakes. Wait.

"You never make pancakes," I pointed out with a frown. "What's the occasion?"

Anko sighed and cut to the chase without preamble: "I'll be heading out on a one-to-three month mission, starting today. I figured I'd leave you with something good to go with that little bit of info."

The pancakes no longer held my attention. "Where are you off to?"

"Some little place called Rice Field Country," she said, an expression of concern on her face.

My fork cut into one pancake. "You don't sound happy about that."

She tapped her own fork against her plate, her gaze looking far away from me. "Something about it all is just annoying the hell out of me, but I'm not sure what it is. I mean, it's a relatively small country, and nothing has happened there, but there's word that something's going down."

I shoveled half a pancake into my mouth, and her expression showed that she was less than impressed. I grinned at her as best as I could and she glared back as I chuckled and swallowed. As I stabbed at the other half of that pancake, I glanced up at her.

"You worried?"

I caught her mid-bite and she chewed for a bit, swallowed, and shook her head. "No. Not really. Something just feels off."

"You're worried."

She shook her head again. "That' s just it. I'm not. At least, not about my end."

I frowned but said nothing more, choosing instead to focus solely on my pancakes. We both ate in silence, and when she finished, she set her fork down gently. Her eyes were shadowed more so than usual, and not just because she kept a busy schedule. My sister was deeply concerned about something, but I couldn't say that I shared the same worry. It was obvious that she didn't want to leave me behind because her instincts kept telling her that something would go wrong. I, however, was completely confident in my safety.

Over the years, I had forgotten many things that had happened in the Naruto story. But, besides the Uchiha Massacre, something I had no intention of sticking my nose into anyway, I knew for  _certain_  that nothing important really happened until Naruto graduated from the academy. So, from now until then, I still had a good nine to ten years of complete and utter peace. I'd just graduate quietly from the academy, become a genin, train a bit, maybe hit chuunin level, and bam, I'd be doing pretty good. For survival's sake, if I could hit jounin by the time Naruto graduated, that would put me in a lot better situation. Even so, I still had a number of years of peace.

"Hey," she murmured aloud, regaining my attention. "Don't stay out too late, all right?"

"What, you mean for the next three months?" I asked, somewhat bewildered. "You're kidding, right? This is crunch time for me."

"I know that," Anko replied testily, her eyes narrowing. "Just try not to overdo it. I don't even know why a brat like you is even out training so late, anyway. I want you indoors by seven, at the  _latest_. Preferably six."

I shrugged. "Yeah, yeah."

"I'm serious," she said, forcing her point more. I haven't asked you for much lately, so you can at least do me that much, can't you?"

With a groan, I nodded. She was right – she really hadn't been asking me for much of anything as of late. She was always gone, so I'd taken to making dinner at night (hah, the look on her face when she realized I could  _cook_. Priceless.) and doing random chores. Every so often, she would leave a random scroll on my bed for me to read and try to figure out the way to do the jutsu. They were always D-Ranked ones, but anything I could add to my arsenal was good enough for me. Anko was probably still pissed when Kurenai told Asuma my chakra affinity, and then ran off and told Kakashi. Then Kakashi decided to tick off my sister by teaching me a super-powered lightning jutsu that nearly landed me in the hospital for chakra exhaustion. I never got to see Kakashi after that. I thanked him very much for the new technique though.

It was kind of Anko's own fault though, and a little bit of Kakashi's. He tried to belittle her a little by telling her the women in his book sounded way hotter than Anko would ever grow up to be. She, in revenge, snuck into his apartment and doused the whole collection of his with a water jutsu. Then she'd sat on his couch with a malicious grin, asking him who was the hotter woman now.

You know, I'd thought that with myself in the equation, Anko wouldn't turn into that promiscuous woman with sadistic tendencies, and, honestly, she wasn't. At least, not with me. The second she'd started going on missions more, though, she'd needed a persona to keep people at arm's length without having to kill them for either trying to take a piss on her life or putting her down because of her past. So, outside of the apartment, Anko was that crazy person I'd always seen on television. At home, she was...fairly normal. It was a bit difficult to get used to at first, but I adapted.

The thing was, with her change, I'd felt a need to have an outer persona, too, but I just didn't have it in me to attempt to act like some blood-thirsty brat who was one twitch away from plunging a kunai into the nearest person's eye. And, what with all the shit that went down with Rouri and those other idiots at school, it was just easier to show no emotion to anyone whatsoever. It was hardly any different from how I'd normally acted anyway – I just never smiled at all anymore if I could help it. People left me alone for the most part, and I didn't have to act like a normal child at all. All along, I'd thought that Sasuke was a fucking prick, but he'd actually had the right idea. I, unlike him, though, just wasn't at the top of the totem pole, nor was I at the bottom. I'd put myself in the exact middle so no one gave a fuck about me unless I forced myself to stand out...which was never.

Anyway. Back to the previous conversation. No, Anko hadn't asked for much of anything from me lately, which put me in the awkward situation of having to agree to whatever little she  _did_  ask. And hey, it probably  _wasn't_  a good idea for a child my age to be out so late anyway. It was an easy thing to concede to.

Anko smiled at me again, which instantly filled me with warmth. She was doing that more and more lately. I loved it. Then, she suddenly frowned.

"And I swear," she started, her voice low, "if I ever hear a peep that you'd even attempted to perform that damn lightning jutsu, I am going to summon fucking Manda and let  _him_  deal with you."

I paled immediately. My voice came out in a little squeak. "What?"

"I'm not kidding."

"That jutsu is  _awesome_!"

"I don't give a shit."

I stared at her with horror as she stood up, picked up her plate, and set it into the sink. She gave me a small smirk before heading towards her bedroom.

"Do the dishes," she ordered as she walked away. "I need to finish putting my gear together. After that, I can walk you to school."

I didn't budge from my seat, even after she'd left my vision. I'd been planning on practicing that very jutsu the moment I'd realized she'd be gone for a while – chakra exhaustion be damned. Now I'd have to be a bit more creative with how I went about things. Maybe I could do something for Kakashi and get him to owe me a favor? Ah, but just thinking about whatever  _he_  might actually make me do made me sick to my stomach and I sighed. I couldn't practice at home alone, either, because my chakra control was still too shitty with the new jutsu. It required far too much, and the moment it went haywire, it would probably burn the whole place down, or at least ruin everything with scorch marks.

I bit my lip and glared over at where my sister had disappeared. Siblings were a pain in the ass, sometimes.

* * *

A little under an hour later, Anko and I had left the apartment and started heading down steps of our complex. She was decked out in her chuunin jacket, and I loved seeing her in it, much to her usual amusement. It was just so  _cool_  seeing her look so official and ready for action. Anko smirked but didn't do anything more than that. Now that we were outside and out and about, she had a reputation to keep. As for me, I was just being my less-than-cuddly self.

"How are those bullies doing lately?" she asked as we walked down the road.

I smirked evilly, cackling laughter echoing through my mind as I thought about my latest stunt with Rouri. "Oh, I made good use of those ingredients you bought for me. Those guys may as well be married to the toilet with as much crap as I put into those brownies."

Anko chuckled. "It's at times like this that I have no doubt that we're related."

"Hey," I spoke out, not the least bit offended. "It's their fault for trying to steal my food. I just helped their GI tract out a bit."

"With as much as you seem to know about the human body, I wonder why you're not more interested in becoming a medical ninja," she pondered softly.

I scoffed, turning away. "I'll never be one of those."

At one point in time, I'd sincerely wanted to go back to school to become a medical professional. I remember this much clearly about my old life. An anesthesiologist had been my overall goal, but that was before my mysterious incident, or whatever had forced me into my new life. I guess the reason I didn't want to carry on with that goal was the same reason I'd never chosen to be a medic in video games – medics always got shafted. The tanks would all die, and the medic would try to heal, but if the medic died due to lack of protection, then somehow, everything was the medic's fault. Now, that's not saying that real life would prove to be the exact same, but I wasn't sure I was ready to tangle with the style of healing in this world. Of course, I still had a lot of time to choose my career path, but I just couldn't see myself going down that route. Then again, I wasn't sure what I would become.

When the academy came into view, I smiled a bit wistfully. After this, I wouldn't be seeing my sister for a long while. I was no stranger to being alone, but since Anko hadn't said anything about Kurenai coming over to watch after me, I could only assume that I was on my own this time around.

The two of us stopped some distance away from the main entrance to the ground and I turned around to look at her. She frowned at me for a moment before giving me a cocky grin. Translation: "I'm worried about leaving you alone, but I'm sure you'll be fine."

Her grin transformed into a menacing smirk and, admittedly, I gulped. Translation: "And if I find out that you've done anything I've told you not to, your ass is going to get a beat-down."

I shrugged and she let out a small sigh. Her hand ruffled my hair before she walked away, waving her hand slightly as a goodbye. Then, I saw her stop and turn back to look at me.

"I forgot one thing," Anko called out. "My boss will be checking in on you every now and then, and you know how he can be."

I immediately froze, an unbidden "urk" coming out of my mouth.

Anko obviously couldn't help but chuckle at this. "That's why I said to make sure to be home by those times. He might even decide to pick you up from school at times, or the training grounds, even. Be on your best behavior."

_Inoichi_ , I thought darkly to myself as she really did leave this time.  _Why_ him _of all people? His kid's cute and all, and I love his wife, but I just genuinely cannot_ stand _the guy._

It didn't make much sense either for me to dislike him. The man hadn't actually done anything wrong, and was always asking about how I was doing, but I guess I was insulted because he'd always insinuated that Anko wasn't doing the best she possibly could given the circumstances. It irritated me, not for my sake, but hers. Then again, I was the only one who really knew how much effort she was putting both into our relationship and our lives in general. She worked damn hard, but Inoichi could only see one aspect of it all. That wasn't his fault, but that first meeting, and consequently, every single one after, had rubbed me the wrong way. Oh well. At least little Ino was adorable, for a toddler.

I scowled and turned to make my way into the academy grounds. As I was about to go into the building itself, someone called out my name, forcing me to turn my glare on them instead. I paused momentarily when I saw who had caught my attention.

"Hotaru-chan," the girl said with little inflection, her expression hidden by her high collar and sunglasses.

"Shina," I replied with just as much expression. "How goes it?"

I sensed her smile as her deeper voice responded, "I am well, thank you."

Meet Aburame Shina, the twin sister of Shiyou, one of my classmates. Shina was one of the rare few females in her clan, a fact that had considerably surprised me when we'd first met. I'd figured her to be a more feminine boy until both she and Shiyou had told me otherwise. I honestly hadn't thought the clan bore any females, but it wasn't that they didn't, but that they were so rare that the fact wasn't worth mentioning in the first place. I'd met her one day when I'd been bored and had gone up to talk to the one person who hadn't treated me like crap when I'd first joined the academy.

Shiyou had respectfully introduced me to Shina, a girl who hadn't said single word to me at all until I'd known her for some time. Whereas Shiyou was simply quiet, this girl had a hidden anger deep within her that spurred her forward. Being one of the few women of the family made them quite protective of her, which in turn, forced her to grow angry with being treated like she was a China doll. Shina didn't show her anger very often, if at all, and the only reason I knew was from how she would react when teachers attempted to treat her with white gloves, as if she would fall apart. She wasn't very receptive to such things, at all.

I'd learnt a few things about these two kids. One: Shiyou was smart. And I mean, he was  _really_  smart. He was actually at the top of our class due to his intelligence, but he couldn't apply himself as well in battle. He knew what to do, but Shiyou would oft times second-guess himself and considered too many paths instead of going with his instincts. Due to this, despite how he would often score in the academic department, no one paid him much attention. Plus, he was always quiet and didn't proactively try to make friends, so no one really knew or cared much about him.

Shina, however, was probably the exact opposite of her brother. She was strong, and had amazing fighting capabilities. She knew how to plant her kikaichuu on her opponent and use other various tricks to confuse them as her insects simultaneously sucked their victims dry, or, at least, until the officiator called the match. Shina, I found, could prove deadly and had a narrow-minded view that whoever she opposed was her guaranteed enemy. There was no grey portion with her – if she was facing down a classmate, that classmate would be taken down. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts to it. Because of this, most people wouldn't go near her, and if one cared to tack on the facts of her being a female Aburame and someone ridden with bugs in her body, that made her doubly terrible. It was somewhat terrible to realize, because outside of battle, she was simply a shy, young woman who wanted friends as much as any other.

The first day she'd called me "Hotaru-chan", I think I'd choked on my banana.

"Where's Shiyou?" I said, glancing around. Where one twin was, the other was usually to follow.

"He is already in the classroom. I was simply waiting for you."

"That was nice of you," I told her, the two of us walking inside of the building. "You doing all right, seriously? You seem nervous."

Shina didn't bother to answer, but I only knew of that nervousness because I saw a few insects kind of blitzing around her. She stayed silent for a few more moments before turning to me as we reached my classroom.

"I am curious," she began. "Would you be interested in joining my brother and I for lunch?"

Well, this was rare. The two were fairly close, but they didn't normally eat together with one another. For them to even consider inviting an outsider to that was definitely strange. It wasn't the first time she'd invited me though, nor was it the first time I'd accepted, so I wasn't sure what had her nervous.

"Is that all?" I asked, tilting my head with some confusion. "Why would I mind doing that?"

"I will see you at lunch then," she said, effectively ending the conversation as she turned away and walked down the corridor, her black locks of hair waving from side to side as she walked away.

I frowned, somewhat confused. Her behavior was strange, even for her. But hey, what did I know about her, really?

I walked into the classroom and sat down in the top row, furthest back in the classroom, next to Shiyou. He gave me a nod of acknowledgement, but otherwise said nothing. I was used to this. If the boy said anything more than ten words on any given day in public, away from his sister, then that would be reason enough to get him checked out by a medical professional. Shiyou didn't talk – hell, Shina spoke more than he ever did, and that was saying something.

My eyes flickered over to the door where I saw Rouri and his group of flunkies come inside. He looked up and made eye contact with me immediately, his mouth forming a scowl until he noticed who I was sitting next to. He gave me one last glance before shuffling away to his spot. I crossed my arms over my chest as I looked at Shiyou, who never indicated that anything was amiss outwardly. I'd always wondered what it was about the Aburame that seemed to freak out Rouri, but whatever it was, I couldn't say I really cared all that much. As long as it forced the guy to leave me the hell alone, I couldn't say that it was all that big a deal.

When Maria-sensei finally stood up and asked for silence, I stopped thinking about my bullies and strange friend and focused solely on her. Speaking of my teacher, we were on far better terms now, especially after she'd helped keep my part-time job a secret. We weren't exactly bosom buddies, but so long as I did well in school in didn't make much trouble, she ignored my dastardly deeds with forcing doom upon my bullies. You'd think the boys would've learnt to stop messing with me after the sixtieth time.

The hours passed by slowly, but the second lunch time hit, I'd grabbed my scroll and my bag – the last time I'd decided to leave it behind, my bullies had desecrated it – and started heading for the door. Shiyou followed along after me without a word, and the two of us headed up towards the roof, where we found Shina already waiting for us. She'd sat down on one edge of the roof, her bentou in her hands as she waited for us to sit down and get situated. I sat on the concrete ground – I didn't really like sitting on chairs, benches, couches, what have you. It was just far more comfortable to sit on solid ground instead of something I could possibly fall out or off of.

I opened my scroll with flourish, almost smiling when the pieces of fried chicken were waiting for me. I preferred Anko sealing my meals instead of my bringing a bentou because when they were sealed, they stayed warm. I couldn't understand why more people wouldn't do that. Of course, sealing them for more time than necessary wasn't good for the food and it would spoil as quickly as it would unsealed, but it was nice to have warm food awaiting me instead of cold rice. If that meant I had to warm it up every morning before Anko sealed it, then that was a price I was more than willing to pay.

I clapped my hands together before digging into the delicious meal. The three of us ate in absolute silence, like we'd always done. I suppose eating in companionship was far better than eating by oneself, though I guess it was odd for us to never attempt conversation when with one another. I don't know, that's how it's always been since we first started this lunch group, and I was long since used to the fact. So, it was an absolute surprise when Shina broke the silence herself.

"Hotaru-chan," Shina began, an insect darting about haphazardly before she took in a deep breath. "My brother and I have been talking."

I grinned to myself. Now,  _that_  was an interesting thing to note.

Chewing my chicken fully, I spun my chopstick around between my fingers absentmindedly. "I take it that's why you're so nervous today, yes?"

"Yes," she confessed without hesitation. "We were curious over whether you might join us for dinner at our compound."

I nearly choked up my next piece of chicken before staring at them with bewilderment. That... That was a very strange request. It wasn't strange that they were asking me to eat with them, it was odd that they would invite me to the Aburame compound at all. The Aburame clan was well-known for their privacy, and it was strange that they would ask an outsider, willingly, to come over at all. Now I understood, partially, why she was so nervous. That must have taken some thought and courage.

I had to ask. "How long have you been considering this offer?"

Shiyou was the one to answer this time: "For the past three months."

What,  _three_  months? I got the hesitation and everything, but wasn't that pushing things just a bit? Geez, three months? What the hell was I doing that long ago? It was Anko's birthday almost two months ago, so before then... Hell, I don't even know.

I sighed and just said the hell with it. "Yeah, sure. Why not? Sounds fun."

Shina let out a sigh of her own, her shoulders slumping as she finally relaxed. I decided to poke some fun at her.

"What, you thought I was going to say no?"

"We considered the possibility."

Hell no, I wasn't going to decline. How many people can say they've seen inside the Aburame compound?

"When am I invited?" I asked eventually.

Shiyou set his chopsticks down, rejoining the conversation. "In a few weeks. Our mother's birthday is this week, and our father's is next week, so we will unfortunately be rather busy until then. We apologize, but the two of us simply wanted to confirm the probability of your coming before making permanent plans."

Oh, good. That was plenty of time for me to get over squealing in excitement over what I would be allowed to experience in a due time. And damn, I wouldn't even be able to tell my sister about the event. I'd have to settle for second-best: Kurenai. If she was even in the village, that was.

I gave them a small smile of appreciation. "Thanks for inviting me."

The twin sister looked at me for a short while before softly saying, "You should smile more often."

Her words made my smile drop away immediately. I hadn't heard those words for a while. It figured the phrase would haunt me in my new life as well.

I wasn't sure how to rely to her, so I chose not to. I stood up to shake off the strange feeling when something down on the main road caught my attention. I frowned more deeply than usual as I stared down at the people walking down the street. My eyes narrowed subconsciously as I tried to place their clothing.

"What's this?" questioned Shina with some wariness, having joined me at my side without my noticing. "Foreigners?"

"I do not recognize that uniform," Shiyou added, pushing his sunglasses further up his nose. "Perhaps there is an event taking place that we were not informed of?"

I frowned. Maybe this was what had had Anko feeling so off. I was still certain that I wouldn't have any problems whatsoever. I was guaranteed fifteen years of peace, after all.


	13. Chapter 13

I stared at her. She stared back at me. Her blue eyes bored into mine as I peered deeply within hers. We each moved closer together, until we almost touched noses. She was determined, and I would match her step for step.

"Boo," I murmured finally, and that's what broke the camel's back.

Little three-year-old Ino reared back with a squeal of joy and elation. Then she came back, her tiny hands on my knees as she pushed her weight onto them, her face alight with a happy expression.

"Again! Do again!"

I chuckled. "Boo."

She fell back again, her body racking with giggles. She looked so content as she came back again and again, demanding I say the same thing over and over. The twelfth time she came back again, I wrapped my arms around her midsection and pulled her against me tightly, my fingers lightly running over her body as she let out a screech of surprise before kicking and screaming as I continued tickling her. I let her catch her breath for a bit before effortlessly torturing her yet again, much to her chagrin and my endless amusement.

Her face was red when I let up again, and her small chest rose and fell quickly as she struggled to take in air. I smiled softly as I ran a hand through her short platinum-blonde hair and she closed her eyes and just laid on my lap. I patted a hand against her tummy gently in an almost rhythmic fashion. Turning my attention away from the weight on my lap, I saw Ino's mother, Haruka, setting the table for dinner. Today was one of the many instances that I would be having dinner together with the Yamanakas. I didn't particularly mind being at their house for however long I needed to be. Inoichi was usually gone at work until the early evening anyway.

Over the past few weeks, I'd been over for dinner at their place no less than four times each week. At first, I'd attempted to fight it. I could cook, even if I didn't particularly take pleasure in the chore, and I was a bit of a stickler against eating other people's food if I wasn't paying for it. Family was one thing – other people were quite another. The first night, Inoichi had taken off from work earlier and come to pick me up at the training grounds where I attempted to "train". I'd flatly told him to leave me alone because I wasn't interested in chilling with him and his family again if I didn't have to. Rude, yes. I'd be hoping that he might just think me as no longer being worth the effort. The man chose to pick me up by my vest collar and essentially drag me to his place.

I'd sulked. Oh, how I'd sulked. Kidnap me against my will, will you? Don't underestimate my immaturity.

When Haruka had tried to feed me, I'd only turned my gaze away, not bothering to even look at the meal she'd so laboriously created. I was just incredibly irritated. I had food at home. Anko had made certain the fridge would be stocked before she left. What was the point of eating someone else's food when they could save that for themselves and have something else to eat the next day? Inoichi hadn't been pleased with my behavior, though I couldn't say that I blamed him in the least. He'd asked me why I wouldn't eat anything.

"I didn't pay for this meal," I'd explained, my gaze turned away from the table and focused on a wall. "This is your food. Why waste it on someone else? Besides, I have stuff at home already."

"Hotaru-chan," Haruka had tried to say, though I'd still refused to look at her. "I was more than happy to make enough food for all of us. It wasn't a problem at all, and we don't need your money."

"The last time I checked, we weren't family friends. Checking in on me does not require feeding, clothing, or housing me, and I do not want you to bother doing so," I'd continued biting out.

Feeling the tension surrounding the table, baby Ino had started crying, unable to adjust to the terse atmosphere. I turned to look at her, and she really did look upset. That made me feel a little bad and awkward, but I didn't want to owe anything to anyone under any circumstances. My attention then turned to Inoichi when I heard him clear his throat.

"Fine," he'd said, looking less than pleased. "But you will stay in that seat until I take you home. Don't eat if you don't want to."

I nodded, feeling myself relax just a smidgen. I saw Haruka glare at Inoichi, but he resumed eating his meal, more or less acting as if I was no longer there. Haruka gave me a quick glance, but after setting Ino back into her seat, she, too, focused on her meal. No one spoke again that evening, and when Inoichi had finally taken me home, I'd looked at the refrigerator before turning away. I felt guilty, but I refused to let go of my pride. If I was to eat someone's food, then I'd have to pay for it in some way. That's the way things were in my mind. But, then again, if I felt too good to eat someone else's food, then that somewhat meant that I didn't deserve to eat anything at all in the first place. So, I didn't. I went to bed hungry that night.

The second time I'd gone to their place, Haruka had set a plate of food in front of me, but neither of them tried to force me to eat it. While I'd appreciated the gesture on their part, I couldn't allow myself to accept it. I noticed Haruka send me a few glances while Inoichi continued pretending that I wasn't in the room. Ino cried again that evening, and once I'd gone home, I'd once again gone to bed hungry.

The third time had been somewhat different. While Haruka had placed the customary plate of food in front of me, she and Inoichi attempted to a forge a conversation with one another to ease the tension. Ino didn't cry that evening, and I'd felt somewhat more relaxed because it actually felt like they'd taken to pretending I didn't exist. And, if they were already at the point where they thought I didn't mean much of anything, then they might stop inviting me over in the first place. That would make things easier for both parties, most assuredly. This night, much like the others, had me go to bed without eating.

The problem with my new pattern of eating arose the fourth time they'd forcibly invited me over. I didn't even know why we were bothering to keep up the pretense at this point. It was a pain for both sides after all. The problem I hadn't foreseen, though, was that I was  _very_  active as of late. I hadn't realized Anko's penchant for feeding me a large amount of protein to keep me going every day, and I'd underestimated the amount of food I needed each day to keep going. My breakfast and lunches never proved to be filling enough, and going without dinner hadn't done me any favors.

When Haruka once  _again_  set down a plate of food in front of me, I'd stared at it, really wishing I could just dig in without prohibition. I don't know if my eagerness showed in my expression, but I caught Haruka and Inoichi looking at me carefully, as if thinking that I would finally break down. The second I'd noticed this, I'd clenched my hands into fists and turned away from the food. I don't know how they reacted to that. I heard the two sigh softly and return to their meal. I probably would have escaped notice once again had my stomach not let out an enormous, kind of bubbly growl that had me freeze. At this, Haruka's patience finally snapped.

"Eat," she'd demanded, her eyes narrowed.

"Not hungry," I'd muttered stubbornly. Ah, my pride would be the end of me.

"What was that sound then?" she said, pushing the issue further. "I don't remember buying a bear for a pet."

"Haruka," Inoichi had tried to placate her, but she'd only turned her anger on him instead.

"This has gone on long enough! I tried it your way, but it's obviously not working!"

Inoichi sighed. "It would have eventually... She wouldn't have held out forever."

"She isn't some test subject at T&I, Inoichi!"

"Don't you think I know that?" he argued back.

As the two argued back and forth, I winced when Ino began crying again, and I couldn't help but feel bad for her. This past week had not be altogether fun for her whatsoever. I held a hand to my stomach as I breathed out slowly. I was getting dizzy – I had been the entire day, but I was too stubborn to allow myself to fall. I'd pledged to eat something in the fridge that night to make up for this craziness.

As Haruka tried to calm down the crying baby, Inoichi looked incredibly frustrated. I was hesitant to ask him what I'd wanted to, but I ended up breaking down and asking him if I could use the restroom. He frowned at me, but still kindly led me to where it was, and heading back to the dining room to give me a sense of privacy. I opened the door to the toilet and used the facilities before sneaking into the actual bathroom area and looking into the mirror. Crap, I'd looked like shit.

I heard the two adults continue to argue back and forth and frowned. If they had just let me go home, this evening, and all the others, would have gone off without a hitch. I just didn't want to owe anyone anything, no matter what it cost me.

I looked back into the mirror – I'd had to use a stool to even reach it. Another wave of dizziness struck me and grasped hold of the edge of the sink with as much strength as I could. My stomach groaned again and the next time I'd looked into the mirror, I saw the image sway somewhat.

_Uh oh_ , I'd managed to think before I realized that one minute, I'd been standing up straight, and the next, I'd been lying down on the floor, my eyes wide with bewilderment. A laundry basket had flipped over and landed on me, and I felt some pain from where the edges had hit my chest and face. I didn't hear or sense anything, but somehow, in the next second, Inoichi had appeared by my side, his eyes narrowed as he took in my situation.

"I'm okay," I'd immediately said, trying to wave away his concern.

To prove I was right, I stood up immediately and brushed myself off. "I'm sorry for the mess. I'll clean it up."

Inoichi took one look at me before walking away and leaving me to stare after him. At first, I'd thought he'd been willing to ignore what had happened until I heard him say Haruka's name. I'd felt a tendril of fear when I saw the woman come down the hallway slowly, her sapphire-blue eyes darkened to an almost navy-blue as she walked nearer to me. She took one look at the overturned stool and upside basket before looking back at me.

"When did you last eat?" she asked without preamble.

I'd hesitated slightly, unsure of how to deal with this new side of her, but she obviously hadn't been in the mood to be patient with me anymore. Her lips firmed.

" _When_?"

"This afternoon," I'd replied, being completely honest. I did feel myself shift a step back, suddenly fearing for my life. The woman had definitely been a capable kunoichi before having Ino.

"And before that?" she continued to question.

"Breakfast."

Her eyebrow twitched somewhat. " _What_  did you eat for breakfast and lunch?"

I backed away again, and she, in turn, took a step forward. "Cereal and some sandwiches..."

Haruka's eyes closed at that and she let out a short breath. "Yesterday, when you left our house, what did you eat at home?"

I sensed that something very, very bad would happen if I told her the truth, but if I told a lie, that would only catch up with me given enough time. I hadn't been sure how to say the word "nothing" in an appealing manner, however, and the woman immediately picked up on my hesitance. Her hand rose up to massage her brow.

"Please tell me you ate something like you said you would."

"Well, I never actually said –"

"So you ate nothing," she stated flatly, obviously not pleased. "You chose to eat nothing at all. There was food prepared for you, and you ate nothing. What did you eat the other nights?"

My silence seemed to piss her off further. "Why didn't you eat?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I was just –"

"That's it," she snapped. "I'm done."

She turned around, her beautiful brunette hair flowing behind her as she stalked away, her anger obvious. My shoulders slumped as I wondered if I shouldn't just leave to go home. For lack of anything better to do, and an unwillingness to go out there and deal with the woman's anger further, I righted the clothing basket again and repositioned the stool. I heard a large clack coming from the main room before,

" _Hotaru_! Get in here, now!"

The obvious fury in her voice had me shrinking back further into the bathroom, and I was almost ready to hide behind the washing machine. There was a moment of silence, with my heart beating harder than I could take before she slowly appeared at the end of the hallway again.

"Get. In. Here," she bit out, and a flash of fear struck me.

I didn't move. There was no way in hell I was going to head to my doom. Haruka stared at me coldly.

"Trust me, if I have to go down that hallway and get you myself, I guarantee you are not going to like it."

Anko had never made me feel this perturbed. I hadn't felt anything like this since I'd... Crap. This was the power of a mother. And it damn well freaked me the hell out.

When I tuned back into the real world, I noticed her walking towards me, and abruptly freaked out. I tried ducking further into the bathroom, but she grabbed my wrist, and with her grip of steel, dragged me back into the dining room. When we got there, the adults took one look at one another before Inoichi had taken Ino out of the room and upstairs, probably to put her to bed.

"Sit," she demanded, letting go of my wrist. "Do it or I swear..."

I sat down in the damnable chair. She sat back into her own chair. "Eat."

"I can't," I eventually mumbled. "It's not mine. I didn't pay for it."

Haruka continued staring at me before shutting her mouth with a clack and sitting back in her chair. "Fine. Then, I guess we'll both just sit here until you either do so, or I lose my patience."

I think we sat there for another ten minutes before I finally asked, "What's the big deal anyway? So what if I don't eat? That's not your problem."

"Yes, it is," she sighed softly, having not budged from her position whatsoever.

"That doesn't make any –"

"You are a  _child_ , and I have come to care for you dearly," Haruka interrupted, her eyes looking steadily at me. "Does the how or why really matter? I care for you. My husband cares for you. Your sister loves you terribly, and this is how your repay her? By not eating and letting your health deteriorate while she's gone? Do you want her to come back and see that you were in the hospital for malnutrition, of all things?"

That caused a bit of guilt to plague me. "Well, no, but..."

"You don't even have to eat everything," she pleaded, "but please, eat  _something_. It's there! Eat it! Why are you worried about money when you're still so young? Let the adults in your life help you – don't turn away help when you can use it."

"I'm not a beggar," I muttered. "If I'm not going to pay..."

Haruka looked at me before closing her eyes slowly. "You made me cry, you know."

My head swirled around, my eyes seeking hers for the truth of that statement. "I what? I didn't do anything, though."

"I had to ask Inoichi what I'd done so wrong that you wouldn't even look at the dish I'd made. Was it anger at him for something? Was it defiance? Were you just rebelling? Was it even remotely related to me at all? Maybe you'd just had a bad day at school and needed something to throw your anger at. I could understand that."

I sat guiltily through her monologue until she paused and took in a deep breath. "Just, please, eat  _something_. Anything. If you can look at me in the eyes and tell me you didn't like what you ate, or that it wasn't up to par, then I promise I won't force you anymore. I will leave you alone, and so will Inoichi. We won't bother you anymore. But first, just eat something."

I looked at the meal in front of me. My pride was burdening my body, making it so heavy that it felt incredibly difficult to lift my hand to reach for the chopsticks. But, my guilt was stronger than the pride I'd developed, though I probably would've held out had she, one: not told me she'd cried from my actions, and two: not pleaded with me and seemed sincere with how much she cared for my well being.

I'd lifted up the bit of mashed potatoes I'd caught with my chopsticks to my mouth, and with some hesitation, forced it inside. The creaminess and wondrous taste of the seasonings and herbs hit me immediately, and my stomach growled again. I struggled against myself to take another bite, and by the time I finished off the potatoes, I was already reaching for the vegetables.

A thought struck me hard as I ate: I shouldn't have been mooching off other people and eating their food. I was better than this. One look at Haruka's blank face, though, vanquished that thought with some difficulty.

I finished off the entirety of the plate after some time, and Haruka searched my face thoroughly.

"How was it?" she asked softly.

I turned my gaze away. "It was good..."

"Would you like some more?"

My short nails bit into my skin as I bit my bottom lip. "Yes, please," I murmured.

There was some silence, and I looked back at Haruka to see what was wrong, but she smiled a gorgeous smile at me before standing up. As she took the plate from in front of me, she pressed her lips gently against my forehead, whispering,

"Thank you, sweetie. Just give me a second."

When she came back with another helping, she set it down lightly in front of me and retook her seat. Before I could attempt to eat more, she touched the back of my right hand softly.

"Hotaru-chan," she said in a voice barely louder than a whisper. "Please, don't ever worry us like that ever again. I don't want you to repeat this incident again, do you understand?"

I'd nodded silently, and she only smiled at me again.

I hadn't understood why they'd come to care for me so much like they had, and even now, as I looked down at Ino's resting face, I still didn't get it. Since that day, though, I hadn't so much as made a fuss about coming anymore. On the contrary, I looked forward to seeing Haruka and Ino each day – it was nice to be with people who cared for you as a person, even if I didn't understand the reasoning behind it.

"Do you want help?" I asked Haruka, still patting Ino on her stomach.

"You're doing me a big favor already by keeping the little one entertained," Haruka responded, flashing me a quick smile as she set the table.

I smiled myself. "She's worth the trouble."

Haruka stood up at that. "It brings me great joy to hear you say that."

I looked over at her before blurting out, "You're a really great person, Haruka-san. I'm glad I had the chance to meet you."

I wasn't allowed to call her "Yamanaka-san" anymore, because I was now officially a family friend.

Haruka gifted me with a slight flush of red across her cheeks. "I'm happy to hear that, though I wonder where it came from, all of a sudden."

"I don't want to regret not saying how I truly feel about people I've come to care for, myself," I said, determinedly not meeting her eyes and focusing on the tiny human in my lap. "I won't always have the chance to do so, after all."

Silence followed my confession, and I suddenly felt somewhat embarrassed for being so forthright. Maybe she hadn't wanted to hear something like that. I refocused on the present again when Ino was taken out of my lap. Haruka looked down at her child with motherly pride.

"She fell asleep," the older woman said. "You're pretty good at this."

Eh, I had my instances.

Haruka disappeared out of the living room, her footsteps echoing as she went upstairs to put Ino in her bed for a while until the child woke up hungry again. In the meantime, I looked to the door as it opened and Inoichi came home. He took a glance at me and smiled. I rolled my eyes and grinned back.

"Welcome home," I offered.

He nodded, accepting the greeting. "You're here early."

"I wanted to play with Ino a bit before dinner."

"You're welcome here anytime," Inoichi told me with absolute confidence.

I smiled to show my gratitude.

Haruka came down not too long after and kissed her husband as a loving greeting. I hugged my knees against my chest, happy to see the family doing so well and that the couple was still very much full of love. Haruka called my name, saying that dinner was ready. I rose up and navigated towards the dining room table. Before I was able to sit down, Haruka came near me, her soft fingers brushing against my cheek lightly before she lifted my bangs and kissed me tenderly on my forehead.

"I'm so glad I met you, too, sweetie," she whispered before leaving my side.

I stood there stock still as Inoichi looked from his wife bustling in the kitchen to my frozen form.

"What's this?" he said with mocked anger. "Are you stealing my wife from me? She blesses you with a kiss more tender than the one she gave me?"

I couldn't help the flush of embarrassment that crept across my face, and in this lifetime, my skin color wouldn't be able to hide it.

"No! You know it's not like that!"

"Haruka is mine! I will not allow you to take her so easily!"

"Ugh, shut up already!" I muttered, turning away.

Inoichi only chuckled at my obvious embarrassment and Haruka gave us both a loving smile as she brought out the food. As Haruka finally sat down to rest after a hard day of watching her toddler, training, and whatever else she'd had to do, she engaged in some small talk with her husband as he tried to unwind from a long day of work. I watched the two talk, a small smile on my face.

I don't know when I started thinking of Inoichi as less of an enemy and more of a friend. And, for all I know, with his occupation, he may have very well planned for this to all happen. Regardless, I didn't feel as bad as before, and I really liked Haruka. I guess that it was just nice to have people, outside of my real family, genuinely care about me. It made me like this world just a bit more.

* * *

I gazed all around me at the festivities taking place. I couldn't take my eyes off of all of the banners and the streets were aligned with all sorts of people that had come out of the woodworks. There were several street vendors out and about as well, each one trying to take advantage of the crowd and occasion. I would've tried heading to one to see if I could get a bite to eat, but like the party pooper he was, Inoichi held me back.

"Whoa there, Hotaru-chan," he grumbled. "There's plenty of time to eat later."

"Hmph, what later?" I shot back. "You agreed that I could train without any time constraints this week, remember?"

"I did, but how about we hold off on that until later?"

Haruka caught up with us and pulled her husband's hand off of the collar of my vest. I smiled my appreciation, and she returned the gesture before glaring at Inoichi. The man held up his hands to try and calm her down, but she wasn't having it.

"Would you get a look at you?" my savior asked him with a tinge of annoyance. "She's graduating from the academy in  _three_  months, and you're worried about her getting lost in a crowd in her village?"

Inoichi chuckled a bit, but she just glared at him further. He patted her on the shoulder. "I get what you're saying, but something about this entire thing feels wrong."

"That's because it  _is_  wrong," said a new voice.

My eyes slid over to see the Nara clan leader coming over, his hands in his pockets as his wife, Yoshino, came up from behind him while holding a toddler Shikamaru. I sighed when I realized the toddler was sleeping, but I couldn't deny him the opportunity because, well, he was three. The last time I'd met him half a year ago, he'd been sleeping then, too, as well as the time before that. I turned around to give Inoichi a look when I noticed the third party of the little triad show up, a large smile on his face as he walked forward with his wife. She was a nice, rotund woman who'd given me a wonderful dish to share with my sister. In my books, the Akimichi family was all right. The Nara family, however...

Shikaku didn't even glance at me as he regarded his longtime friend, Inoichi. He rolled one shoulder back and cracked his neck.

"I don't trust any of this," the genius tactician muttered. "Something's off about this whole ordeal. I just can't put my finger on what."

"You think Kumo's trying for war discreetly?" asked Chouza in an abnormally low voice. "I know we're not necessarily in the best position to launch ourselves into yet another war, especially since we're still in the red after the Kyuubi event."

Shikaku shrugged and glanced at his wife, who met his gaze head-on. "I couldn't say for sure. As far as our forces are concerned, we could probably handle another war, but it would be tight. Financially, we're not doing as well as we could be, I don't think. Plus, the daimyo's really wary about providing more funds until we prove ourselves to be in a better situation. If he withdraws his support, we're finished."

Inoichi shook his head. "The man won't do that, no matter what the case. His pockets may be deep, but if we get tossed into another pointless war, I guarantee you that the first place he'll attempt for refuge should things go sour is Konoha. The capital may have its own force, but they're just a blot on the map as far as Kumo's concerned."

The Nara sighed. "Well, I can at least safely assume Iwa won't be taking part. We destroyed them in the third war."

"The Yondaime won't be around to save our skins this time, though," murmured Inoichi.

"We'll deal," Shikaku said. "We always have."

I watched this exchange with narrowed eyes. Shikaku assumed there would be something going down thanks to this event. He obviously didn't trust the Kumo representative as far as he could throw him. As far as I recall, though, there wasn't another world war up until after Naruto became a genin, which was nine years from now. I still had Anko's words of warning on my mind, but I tried not to pay them much attention at all. It wasn't that I wasn't concerned about them, but there was hardly anything to be done in regards to them.

Shikaku finally glanced down at me with an unreadable expression before looking back up at his blond friend. "I see you brought the brat."

"The  _brat_  can hear you," I muttered, turning away.

"She's even more annoying than before, now."

Fuck you.

Inoichi laughed and ruffled my hair, much to my own irritation. "We didn't want her to come here alone. This may be an occasion for celebration, but she's still young."

"Yeah, well, she'll be a genin soon enough. You'd better detract those tentacles of yours and let her grow up," Shikaku advised with a bored tone.

Haruka stepped up, a satisfied grin on her face. "You know, that's what  _I_  told him, but he refused to see reason. Honestly, the girl may be going out into the world soon. You can't keep her under your wings forever."

"Someone has to!" Inoichi whined, drawing me into his arms as he whimpered. "Anko's gone! I don't want her to be lonely!"

I could just feel the irritation build up as I tried to fight and get out of his grasp. He held me even tighter and I yelled out my annoyance. Then, a second later, I felt him freeze before letting me go. I bounced forward a couple of steps before glaring back at him. Then, I laughed.

Haruka had Inoichi's left ear between her two fingers as she pulled him away from me, Ino balanced on her other hip as she did. "Leave. Her. Be."

"Yes, dear," he muttered.

Shikaku gave the blond a slow smile. "She's got you whipped."

Chouza laughed at this. "Look who's talking, my friend. Yoshino has you wrapped around her pinky."

"Hmph, I don't take orders from any woman," he denied, before his eyes widened as a sudden killing intent flared up behind him.

He turned to see Yoshino glaring at him, a smirk on her face. "Oh, is that right,  _dear_? I suppose it's a good thing I'm not just any woman, isn't it?"

Shikaku turned away quickly, muttering, "Troublesome woman..."

I smirked at him before turning away myself. I really wanted to head to a lot of the food stands. Man, if my sister were here, I could've dragged her away at my own behest, but now... I glanced up slowly to look at the six adults, standing around talking. I'd either have to try and slip away, or get one of them to come with me. I caught Shikaku's eye, who had obviously been waiting for me to make a run for it. I met his gaze defiantly, though he turned away without caring whatsoever.

I made a soft sound of aggravation. I walked up to Haruka, tugging down on her shirt a few times before she turned her attention to me.

"What is it, Hotaru-chan?" she asked kindly.

"I want to go check out some food stands. I'm going to head out."

"Do you have enough money on you?"

"Anko gave me plenty enough," I replied respectfully. "I probably won't be back though. I'm going to start training right after I get some food in me."

Haruka bent down until she was eye level with me, and Ino held out her chubby, tiny hands to try and touch my face. I humored her, leaning forward to nuzzle her nose before backing away. Haruka smiled at the interaction before turning serious, a rare expression for her.

"All right, but play it safe. Don't stay out ridiculously late, and if you feel like something's amiss, and I mean, if  _anything_  feels off to you, you come straight to our house. Do you understand?"

I frowned. "I'll be fine. You people are just paranoid."

"We're ninja, dear," she corrected. "We'd be dead if we weren't a little suspicious of everything."

I let out a sigh but nodded. "Okay, okay. I'll go right to your place if I happen to get chased down by an army of enemy soldiers."

Concern knitted together her eyebrows. "I can only hope it doesn't come down to that."

"Kay, I'm off!" I exclaimed, waving as I ran away through the crowd.

I ducked in between one throng of people after another, my eyes set on all of the food stands I'd seen previously. I slid in front of one, my eyes wide as I saw the shish kebabs at the stand. The vendor smiled down at me.

"Hello there, little missy. Would you be liking something to eat?"

"Two of the shish kebabs, please!" I said, pointing my finger at them.

The vendor chuckled, but after taking my money, gave me the two I'd requested. I turned away and began gnawing on them. Like this, I went through about five to six other stands, spending my money happily for the wonderful taste of amazing food I would normally never get to eat. Maybe it was a good thing my sister was out of town, because she would've stopped me at the second or third one. Have to live a little, you know?

When the evening came, I was already at the training grounds, limbering my body for my training. If I could help it, I never missed a single training day. For one, if I missed something, my muscles would just hurt incredibly and I would be out of the count. For two, if I missed a day, Anko always made me see reason in some manner, like launching three of her stupid snakes after me the next morning instead of the single one. Or, she'd make my clothes even heavier than usual, where even walking around was a ridiculous chore. The fact that I could turn off the seals didn't actually matter. It was the thought that counted.

I clapped my hands together once I was finished. Today was the only day I'd have absolutely  _no one_  paying attention to whatever the hell I was going to do. So, that obviously meant it was "work-on-prohibited-jutsu" day. I had a few that I wasn't allowed to touch, whatsoever. One, was the genjutsu that Kurenai had taught me. I was way better at my chakra control now, but it still took a lot out of me. Second, was the lightning jutsu that Kakashi had taught me out of vengeance: the Chidori. He, like Kurenai when she'd taught me the genjutsu, never thought I'd ever be able to pull it off without killing myself. Yeah, well, it's been months bitches, and I'm going to pull it off. The third jutsu was a lightning jutsu I'd made myself. But, considering that when I'd used it on my sparring partner for one of my examinations and she'd been put into the hospital for it, that had been labeled too dangerous for me to wield as well. I called it the Hiraishin – there was no connection to the legendary Yondaime's Hiraishin. Plus, the kanji was entirely different.

Well, it was about time to get started. I fell into a stance. My hands flipped through the seals before I landed on Rabbit.

"Fukashi no Kaze!"

* * *

I dreamt about my sister that night. I dreamt that she and I were having a drink together, me with my black tea and her with a cup of coffee. She and I talked happily, almost as if she'd never left on a mission at all.

"How is your training going?" she asked me, lifting her cup to take a sip.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Eh. It's what it is."

Her expression closed off a bit. "You'd better not be working on those jutsu."

I stuck out my tongue. "Hah. Even if I were, you couldn't stop me. You're a thousand kilometers away."

"I'll remember that, brat," she murmured, and I could almost feel her killing intent. "When I get back, you and I are going to have another talk."

" _Again_?" I asked, my heart sinking. "This isn't fair. How will I master those techniques without ever working on them?"

She frowned. "You work on them when someone is around to..."

Anko paused for a moment. Her eyes darted left and right before she stood up. I stood up as well, wary of what might have been going on. Anko suddenly turned her gaze on me, and it was fiercer than anything I'd seen from her in over a year.

"You need to get up, Hotaru," she ordered, a bead of sweat rolling down her face. "Now."

"Get up?" I questioned. "But I'm already standing up, so –"

She cut me off, her hands on my shoulders. "No. You have to get up! You need to wake up!"

"What are you –"

"Wake up!" she shouted, shaking me back and forth. "You need to wake up!"

I was confused. Wasn't this a dream? What was she talking about. I saw her pull back her hand. She brought it forward, her open palm slapping against my cheek with surprising force and bringing about incredible pain.

" _Wake up now_!"

My eyes snapped open, though I was disoriented and still feeling the numbing pain of her crazy slap. As my vision refocused, I saw someone standing over me in the darkness. At first, I thought it was my sister, come back early from a mission.

"Anko?" I murmured curiously.

The person neared closer to me, the man's yellow teeth bared as his eyes glittered dangerously.

"Boo."


	14. Chapter 14

I flew into the realm of full consciousness as the man clapped his hand his hand over my mouth, his other hand grasping hold of a kunai that fell dangerously close to my neck. I froze, my breath coming out more rapidly as I stared up at my attacker. He sneered at me before his left hand formed a hand seal.

"Doro Bunshin no Jutsu."

From the earth formed clods of mud that developed into two more men that looked exactly like him. While it was interesting to see an actual clone jutsu in the flesh, I couldn't say I was pleased to be in the situation I currently was. The original, after slapping a paper over my mouth, moved away as his clones flipped me over and tied me up in ninja wire. I grunted in pain as it cut into my skin, my eyes squeezing shut to block it out. One clone pulled me up off the ground, and I bit my bottom lip as the wire pressed against me even more. I heard two puffs as the original flipped me over his shoulder and turned to greet another person as they came to his side.

"What's the situation?" my captor demanded to know.

"That idiot Saitou failed, but Souen managed to sneak out in the chaos when the Hyuugas killed Saitou off. He's on route to the rendezvous point as we speak."

"Excellent. What about the Uchiha?"

"Ichida's on the run right now. I don't think she'll get away unharmed."

My captor let out a snarl. "I don't fucking care if she's raped and mutilated, so long as she completes her fucking mission."

"I'm highly doubtful, sir."

"Anything else? After those idiots' botches, I'll bet Konoha will be on high alert soon. It'll be hard to get out of here with any other goods whatsoever."

"Two of our people found the orphanage, but those kids won't be much use. We didn't find much good there."

"Damn. Well, at least we got a Hyuuga, and we've got the Mitarashi brat. We may be able to get something from Orochimaru for this."

I let out a grunt to show my irritation, and abruptly felt a slice of pain on my leg. My teeth clenched together as I let out a muffled yell. I rose my gazed when I felt a breeze, and saw the cold eyes of the second person staring right at me. Her eyes were as cold as frozen tundra as they stared at me, and she held out her kunai out right next to my left eye. My pulse leapt up in speed as the sharp neared closer and closer. I tried to pull back but my captor held me tightly, not allowing me to move.

"Stay still, you brat," the woman said as my eyes widened even further. "You don't have a doujutsu, but you are connected to someone great. I'd rather not damage our prize if possible, but don't think I won't."

Much to my anger and humiliation, I could feel my eyes begin to tear up, and I turned my gaze away from her, my teeth still grit together. She pulled away the kunai and left my sight. I heard her walk around.

"Sir, allow me to make a path for you."

"No need," the man said. "Konoha thinks its walls are infallible. We will head in that direction, jump the wall and head back to Kumo. I want you to make sure the others follow my lead."

"Yes sir."

I felt a burst of wind before everything calmed. Suddenly, we set into motion, his arm circled around my body as he blazed forward. I wondered, at first, why he didn't take to the trees, but decided not to worry about it. My eyes opened to see clods of mud forming up from the earth behind him. I wasn't sure what they were for, but I found I didn't care when I heard the siren echo throughout the village. My captor spat out in annoyance, but only kicked his speed up a notch.

I jerked back against his shoulder and cried out as the wire slid against my skin the moment the man made an enormous jump from the ground up onto the wall. I heard the cries of some people as they spotted my captor, but all he did was grab me by the wire ensnaring me and with a great bout of strength, launching me upwards to slam into a hard object. The resounding "oof" made me open my eyes in shock. Then, I saw the Konoha ninja who had caught me get cut down like nothing.

"Raiton:," the man yelled out, "Lariat!"

I fell against the concrete, my chin slamming down hard as I bit back another cry. I clenched my fists and struggled against my bindings, but it only made the situation even more painful for me. I glanced up as the next Konoha shinobi fell, and the man clucked his tongue when he saw his actions had caught the attention of several others. Almost as if he were in no danger whatsoever, he picked me up, throwing me right back on his shoulder. I felt him shift before he muttered,

"Doro Bunshin no Jutsu."

Then, out of nowhere, I could see nearly ten other clones of him appear on the wall from where they'd jumped from the ground. Two of them created a genjutsu to make it seem as if they, too, were holding bundles. I felt my stomach churn as the man suddenly jumped forward, and I felt like I was in a freefall without boundaries as the wall seemed to grow in front of me. Then, without an opportunity to get used to gravity again, my captor fled off again, his two clones right next to him.

I kept my eyes closed because the constant bouncing from tree branch to tree branch was beginning to make me nauseous. I let my ears be my guide, because it wasn't too much longer before I heard the sounds of extra feet making the journey with us.

"Sir, Kudou and Takigawa were sighted and the ANBU is on our trail. We don't have much time before the catch up."

My captor grunted. "Did they at least go down with a fight?"

"They blew up part of a building, sir."

"That's better than nothing," the man continued. "What about you, Satou? Find anything of use?"

A new individual's voice joined the conversation. "Nothing of importance, sir. I was convinced that one child was of a great importance, but security around him has been very tight since we first arrived weeks ago. I could never get near him, and, as Itou already reported to you, the other kids at the orphanage are far too wet behind the ears."

The woman who I assumed was Itou let out a small sigh. "Are we so certain Konoha will not go to war about this? It all seems a bit careless."

"Yeah, well, if Saitou and Ichida had done their damn jobs right," countered Satou, "we wouldn't be having this discussion, would we?"

"I'm just worried," she snapped back. "Konoha is feared for good reason. Could we even win, despite our numbers?"

"Leave that up to the Raikage," commanded my attacker. "The man's no fool. Now, stay alert. We've got trouble incoming."

I opened my eyes to see the woman and man hang back, their hands flashing through seals as fast as lightning.

"Raiton no Heki!" they both shouted, their hands slamming down on the tree branch.

My kidnapper fell into motion once again, his subordinates disappearing from my view quickly before vanishing entirely. I let my head fall as my stomach continued to swirl and churn, a small headache growing as I tried to relax myself. I was exceedingly exhausted, and hadn't had the opportunity to rest much before the incident. For once, I really wished I'd listened to my sister's advice, and a small part of me hoped that the Yamanakas had been alerted to my absence. I was well aware that I just wasn't well-known enough for many people to take alert, and with my sister out of the picture, there weren't really any people that would know of my absence. There was Kurenai, but I wasn't sure if she was even in the village at the moment. I hadn't seen her at the festival.

I was also concerned about whatever Hyuuga had gotten taken away. I shook my head hard but groaned inwardly when the headache threatened to grow larger. Damn it – I couldn't remember this happening in the manga at all. Who got taken –

Oh. Shit. That was the Hinata thing, wasn't it? Fuck, if Kumo actually got their hands on her, then there was a lot of shit that would be going down. But, how did they manage to do it this time around when they couldn't manage it in the manga? ...In the manga, there had only ever been one person to come to Konoha from Kumo, right? What changed then? Did my prior knowledge have some kind of butterfly effect to make things harder to predict and prevent? No, damn it! I wanted my fifteen years of peace!

I gritted my teeth before letting my strength fade away. Regardless of whatever I wanted to do, I did not have the skills to get out of my current situation. Unless someone saved me, or freed me somehow, I was doomed to whatever these people wanted.

A flicker of color in the monotonous green and brown caught my eye, and I lifted my aching head to see if help was on the way, and promptly felt my spirits plummet when Itou sped into view. I saw a cut in her thigh that was bleeding heavily, and there were wounds all over her body as she raced forward. The moment she caught up, she murmured,

"Satou is holding back some members of the ANBU, but he won't last long on his own. We won't make it out of Fire Country at this rate, sir."

"Damn it all," my kidnapper cursed. "We'll get to the rendezvous point and see what we can do from there. Watch my back."

"Yes sir."

Itou fell back by a branch, her cold eyes peering into mine as I stared back. She didn't offer me any kind of smirk or smile, but merely turned her attention away to look to and fro at her surroundings. I couldn't really care about it either, though. My body was so tired, and I really just wanted to crawl into bed at home, and relax for the next day. I didn't have that option though, and as much as I felt like vomiting, I knew I couldn't. So, instead, I was stuck in between and feeling nothing short of nauseous. Throwing up would have been far easier, even if my throat might have complained.

I think I finally succumbed to unconsciousness for a while, because I woke up with a rude awakening when I was thrown to the ground. My shoulders slammed against the cold earth, and I winced, trying to curl up into a fetal position to shield against the pain some.

"Good job, Souen. Saitou was never the brightest."

The man named Souen laughed. "No, he wasn't. But, this only means I'll get the acclaim for getting the Hyuuga. Can you imagine what we could do with our own army of Hyuugas? I can't wait until the little bitch grows up so we can start farming her."

"We have to get out of here first," said the ever practical Itou. "We won't be able to hide here for long. Resting in Konoha's territory is eating at my nerves. This isn't a good idea."

"Cool it, Itou. Either of you two have a soldier pill on you? I need a boost."

"Already?" asked Itou.

"Hey," my kidnapper growled. "I didn't see you fighting a bunch of those Konoha guys with goods attached to you. They were fucking strong, and it took a lot of my chakra to keep them off me. They still haven't found one of my clones."

"Fine, sir," Itou continued, sounding irritated. "But if this comes back to bite us later, don't blame that on me."

Souen laughed again. "Uchimi will be  _fine_ , woman. Geez, you worry too much."

"And you don't worry enough," she muttered in return.

I heard the sound of footsteps coming closer before a foot rammed into my side and turned me over onto my back. I blinked as I tried to adjust my vision to see the person properly. He was a fairly handsome blond with a wide smile and grey eyes. He smirked down at me before looking over at his teammates.

"Hey, she's cute. Mind if I have a little fun?"

My body went cold for a moment as my mind fell blank. No. No. Nonono.

Itou sniffed. "You're such a fucking asshole. She's a freakin' child."

"Yeah, but Orochimaru's gonna get her in the end, right? Imagine what  _he'll_  do to her. At least whatever pain she gets from this will be temporary in comparison."

I tilted my head back so I could look at Uchimi, hoping against all hope that he'd stop the man. Much to my immense relief, Uchimi shook his head. "No can do. Her price will drop if you sully her like that. Besides, Orochimaru likes perfection, remember?"

Souen shrugged a bit. He turned back to me and cupped my chin tightly, shifting my head from side to side. "Aw, that's a shame. At least she's got something to fuck. I can't do anything with a stupid toddler."

The blond let me go so he could walk to my other side and kick a bundle wrapped up in a bag. I heard a soft cry before Souen kicked the bag again.

"Shut up, princess," the man demanded. "Make another sound and your ass is mine the second you're old enough."

"You'll be waiting awhile," Itou said sardonically.

All of a sudden, the three ninja fell silent, and I grew concerned about what was coming next.

"There's too many of them," Itou whispered. "I knew we should've just gotten out of here."

Uchimi grunted. "Fuck it. We never would've made it away in time. Well, at least I'll get to take down some of these Konoha assholes."

"Agreed!" happily said Souen. "I never get to do anything fun anymore, anyway. I won't go down without a good fight!"

"Fine," murmured Itou. "Then I'll..."

"No, you take those two and get out of here," ordered the leader. "Put them someplace safe for another envoy to get to them. Don't take any risks – we need our goods delivered safe and sound."

Itou made a slight strangled sound. "But, what about you two...?"

Souen laughed, as he was apt to. "Aw, darlin', you worried about us?"

"I don't give a shit about you," she bit back coldly. "But, Uchimi... I mean, sir..."

"Get out of here, Itou," Uchimi gruffly commanded. "Doing your duty will make me the proudest and happiest of you."

There was a pause before there was a shuffle of feet. Itou picked me up and I winced at the wires causing me more pain. There was a slight noise coming from the sack when the woman picked it up before we were off into the trees. I heard someone shout out "stop", but it went ignored as Itou flew from branch to branch, her enhanced speed pushing us away from our previous site where sounds of battle were now taking place. I heard the smallest fwip of sound before Itou stumbled slightly, but otherwise pushed on.

Twenty minutes of running later, Itou had begun to slow down significantly, her breath coming out in soft pants. She eventually came to a full stop and jumped down to the ground. Letting both the bag and me fall to the ground, she brushed aside some bushes before coming back and picking me up. She pressed me against the one part of the inside of a tree trunk before disappearing. Then, I watched as she gently set down a bag that was leaking some kind of liquid, but my eyes wouldn't focus enough to figure out what it was. Itou gave me a hard glance before seeming to be conflicted by some kind of indecision. Eventually, she nodded and slammed a kunai against my temple.

* * *

My head throbbed when my eyes next opened, and my throat was dry and parched. I rested my head back against the wood behind me, shifting my stiff shoulders. I heard soft whimpering and grudgingly raised my head to peer in front of me at the trembling sack. My bleary eyes shifted away to look outside. It was far brighter than before, so I assumed that the sun had risen. I blinked slowly, shifting forward only to realize the wiring around me had been cut. I raised my hands up to stare down at them. I was free, but I didn't particularly feel like celebrating.

With a quick groan, I pushed my body into motion, falling forward on my hands and knees to crawl over to the still trembling bundle. I winced when I saw the caked blood that had bled through my sleeves. My vest was also shredded, and I wouldn't be able to wear it anymore if I got through this. I tried unraveling the knot, but my body constantly felt like it was going to shut down at any minute. I sighed before gathering up a boost of energy and forcing the knot loose. I opened the sack to see a dirtied, sullied, crying little girl staring up at me with wide eyes full of fear and hurt.

"Oh, honey," I murmured, my heart strings tearing.

She whimpered when I attempted to touch her, and I shushed her softly. "Shhh. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, Hinata. I promise."

I pulled her into my tired arms, even though she tried to resist a bit. I held the three year old against me, patting her back gently as I realized the liquid I'd seen before had probably been urine. I closed my eyes as I tried to calm her down – she'd started crying anew when she'd realized she wasn't going to be hurt anymore. I slowly patted her hair, resting my head gently against hers.

"It'll be fine," I murmured almost unintelligibly. "Someone will come and save us."

My head wasn't working too well at that moment, but I briefly wondered why no one had come to our rescue just yet. A Hyuuga had been stolen from their village, so I'd expected some other Hyuugas to be about, using their doujutsu to hunt the little girl down. It was strange, but Hyuuga could see through walls and trees and stuff, right? My eyes closed slowly as my exhaustion continued catching up with me.

"Hinata, stay with me, okay?" I asked in little more than a whisper as my eyes closed completely.

They opened again long after, my head not pounding nearly as much and my body not nearly as exhausted as before. Hinata was tucked in tightly at my side, her little fists clutching fiercely to my torn clothing. I slowly lifted my hand to stroke her head softly, my mind on other things as I thought about my situation.

My eyes flicked over to look outside, but it was dark again. I could safely say we'd been gone for nearly a day, or perhaps even longer, without any sort of rescue. That was strange in and of itself, and I didn't understand what exactly was causing the holdup. Konoha wasn't that inept – they should've been able to find two little kids. As far as I knew, we were still in Fire Country, in our homeland. If they weren't finding us, it had to be because they were physically incapable of doing so. It would've had to have been a very high-class genjutsu, or something else that confused the Hyuugas senses. But, the Uchiha were around, too, and they could definitely see through genjutsu. I didn't know what could possibly be stopping them from finding us.

I groaned as I tried to sit up, but Hinata was holding on too tightly for me to move. Her large eyes opened to look up at me, but then she saw our surroundings and started shaking again. Her little fists tried clenching my clothing even tighter as tears fell down her face.

"Mommy," she cried out softly. "Daddy..."

"You'll see them again," I told her gently. "I promise. I'll keep you safe."

Hah. Yeah. Chakra-exhausted me was  _totally_  going to be a big help with that. Oh yeah.

Hinata only whimpered a slight bit more before clinging to my side and not saying anything further. Hell, this was horrible. It was terrible that a child her age had to be subjugated to the torture of being kidnapped against her will and then tossed into a situation where she couldn't rely on the only people she'd ever really known her entire life. I patted her head again, and then tucked my feet underneath me. The moment I tried to stand up, Hinata clutched at me further, causing me to fall back against the trunk as my balance failed.

"Sweetie, you're going to have to let me go a bit," I cajoled her. "I need to stand up."

"No leave," she whimpered, crying more. "I want Mommy..."

"I know, hun," I agreed, trying to stay patient. "But if you don't let me get up, we won't be able to get you mommy, okay?"

"...No leave?"

"I'm not going anywhere without you," I told her firmly. "Don't worry."

She looked deeply into my eyes before her hand slowly released their vice-like grip on my clothing. I breathed a soft sigh of relief before holding out my hand for her to take. Her tiny hand touched mine and I wrapped my fingers around it, giving her a self-assured smile that projected all of the confidence I wasn't actually feeling. I turned around to face the entrance of the trunk and took in a deep breath.

I ducked my head underneath the lip, my eyes darting back and forth as I took in my surroundings. Aw, hell. Who was I kidding? I had no fucking idea of where I was.

Hinata pattered after me, the thumb on her right hand stuck in her mouth as she stayed right at my side. Her eyes glanced around, too, but never once did she attempt to leave my side. I pushed aside the bushes before coming across a line of different kanji in... Was that dried blood?

I fell to a knee as my hands touched the writing before a red spark struck out, sending me reeling back. What was this sorcery? And what time period was I in to think such a middle-aged term?

I backed away quickly from the words, staring with some dawning understanding as I noticed them encircle around the tree. With Hinata in hand, I went along the barrier, making a full circle until we made it back around. Holy shit, this was some crazy stuff. I'd never seen anything like it, but whatever it was, it was definitely blocking anything from getting in or out. But, if nothing could get in or out, then that meant no Kumo ninja could get at us either, which utterly and completely defeated the point of putting us here in the first place.

Well, since looking around wasn't going to help me, I chose to instead look up. My eyes fell on a tuft of red hair that I could see hidden in the branches above. My mouth tightened into a frown and I could feel a spark of anger erupt within me. It was this person fault that I was even here in the first place. I let go of Hinata's hand, much to her confusion and discontentment.

She cried out but I whirled around, my eyes determined. "Stay here, Hinata, and don't go near that black writing. I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

"No leave!" she cried out. "You promised!"

"I'm not going anywhere," I said. "I promised, and I'm not letting go of that. I'm going right up that tree though. You'll be able to see me, okay?"

"No leave!" she demanded again, beginning to cry again. "No leave!"

"You'll be able to see me, okay?" I tried to placate her. "But I need you to be a strong girl for me, okay? Like mommy and daddy."

Her little hands came up to rub at her eyes as she continued crying silently. I patted her on the head before spinning around and glaring at the obstacle of a tree trunk standing between me and my target. I had a good idea that Itou had been the one to lay down the...whatever it was – containment circle, maybe? I needed to contend with her before I had any chance of getting any kind of rescue.

I sighed. My body hadn't caught up on enough sleep, but I didn't have a choice. I put my foot on the trunk, attaching it with as little chakra as I could stand without slipping off. Then, I took in a deep breath and sprang from the ground, my footfalls making pit-pat sounds as I ran up the length of the tree. I came to an abrupt halt and flipped onto the same branch Itou was on. She didn't even bother to move any of her body save for her eyes when I came into view. Dark circles lined the bottom edges of her eyes as she tried to focus on me.

"You're awake," she croaked softly. "...The envoy hasn't made it yet..."

"I'm not going with them, and neither is she," I stated, as if it were only obvious. "What's this barrier thing? Take it down."

She coughed slightly before letting out a wiry smile. "An old blood fuuinjutsu from a family long since dead. You'll have to kill me if you want to leave."

"That can be arranged," I was quick to say, bending down in case she was going to fight.

"Go ahead," she coughed, blood pooling up and dribbling down her chin. "I'm dead either way."

I hesitated slightly, my hands falling down to my kunai pouch before I grimaced. I only had practice kunai on me. I couldn't kill her with those. She saw me seem to struggle with something and tilted her head.

"What's wrong? Afraid to kill someone?"

"No, actually," I replied. "My practice kunai just won't be killing anything right now."

I walked straight up to her and leaned my face in near hers as my hand reached for one of her kunai. She didn't resist, and I realized that she didn't fight not because she didn't want to, but because she couldn't move at all. Itou gave me a half-hearted smile when she saw the realization dawn on my face.

"Do it," she told me, and I frowned.

The kunai flipped into my hand and without any further deliberation, I sliced the weapon across her neck, ending her life swiftly. I stood back a bit before glancing down and seeing the array of kanji glow brightly before disappearing. My eyes closed for a moment.

That had been my first kill, but I didn't really feel anything. It was real life, not a video game, but I just couldn't care at all about the life now gone. She'd never mattered to me, so it was like cutting open an onion, or slicing a piece of steak. Hell, I probably would've cared about the steak far more. Honestly, it would probably bother me a hell of a lot later, once things settled down, but for now, I had too much on my mind. I needed to get a little girl and myself home safely, but there was still a threat out there. I didn't have a lot of chakra to work with, and if we were caught by the wrong party, I wouldn't be in any condition to do anything.

A soft sob caught my attention, throwing me out of my thoughts. I glanced down to see Hinata still crying, her little fists rubbing her eyes even more than before. With that, I made a decision. I walked forward to where the dead Itou laid still, my hands scrounging through her pockets and pouches. I took out my practice weapons and pushed in her real metal ones. I took her pouches and attached them to my belt, and then held up one particular pouch.

Soldier pills. I needed to take one if I was going to be of any real help, but if I remembered correctly, there could be some harsh penalties for taking one. I also didn't know how it would affect someone as young as a six-year-old, and I honestly didn't want to find out. I gritted my teeth as I clenched the bag in my hand. My eyes closing, I took in a deep breath and let out a sigh. I didn't have a choice.

It was just as I was about to reach into the pouch that I heard a cry of alarm, and my gaze immediately shifted to glare down at the ground where an unknown shinobi was standing right next to Hinata. Rage flooded my body when I saw the forehead protector on his head: Kumo. This was that damned envoy!

"That's odd," muttered the Kumo ninja. "The messenger said there was another brat, too."

 _You little fucker_ , I thought to myself.  _You aren't getting either of us, damn it._

With that in mind, I chucked a pill into my mouth and bit down hard onto it, the bitter powder hitting my tongue and making me shiver from its horrible taste. A warmth flared within me as it shot through my body, centering around where my heart was until it raced out to my extremities. I looked down at my fingers with wonder as a sense of unlimited power grew within me. I felt more energized than I had since before I'd begun my training after the festival.

My awe was cut short when I saw the Kumo ninja turn his attention upwards, a smirk growing on his face as he saw me.

"Ah. There you are."

I glared down at him as my hands went through seals that felt as natural to me as walking now. Horse. Monkey. Dog. Rabbit. The man vanished from my view and I saw him land right next to me, though he paid me little attention as he looked at his fellow Kumo compadre.

"Whoa. What happened to you, Itou?" he asked himself.

_Genjutsu: Fukashi no Kaze!_

I let the technique take a chunk of my newly regained chakra as I disappeared from his sight. The man let out a sound of disbelief before jumping back away from me. He threw a few shuriken at where I was standing, but I quickly flipped out of the way, tucking in my knees as I fell in a continuous somersault all the way down to the ground. I hit the ground hard and had to move again as he fell after me, a kunai stabbing right where I'd been.

 _This technique is useless if they can see where I was beforehand_ , I admonished myself, releasing the genjutsu.

My muscles screamed in pain as I contorted my body, trying to escape a lot of his shots at me. I leapt back before jumping forward, my foot slamming into his stomach with as much force as I could muster. He let out a grunt and grabbed my ankle before whipping me around and sending me flying into some underbrush. I heard Hinata cry out with fear as I rolled through the branches and twigs, my face getting cut up as I went. I lifted my head quickly to see where my enemy was, but didn't notice him behind me until he slammed a kick into my back and sent me flying forward. I landed on the ground with a loud thump, my ribs protesting every movement I made.

The man sauntered up with a smirk on his face. "It's time to stop playing ninja, little girl."

"Fuck you," I spat out, my hand reaching into a pouch and drawing out one of the last few seals I had.

I charged it up with chakra before throwing it to the ground. He made a sound of irritation and I flickered through my seals once again, my genjutsu blitzing back into life as I raced at him. I launched myself at his chest, my hand ripping off one of my chakra bombs as I clutched to his flak vest. Pouring chakra into it, I held onto it for a full second.

Three.

He plied me off and dropped me to the ground. I grunted with pain, my face probably showing it as easily as any child's. His foot reared back, and I dropped the chakra bomb from my hand.

Two.

His foot met my ribs, smashing into them as he sent me flying away, bypassing Hinata and slamming into the trunk of another tree. My eyes opened slowly as I winced with pain, but I felt a smile cross my face as I saw him turn his attention down to the glowing blue gem.

One.

The explosion that erupted threw Hinata flying back towards me, and I achingly pushed myself up and into the air to catch her before she fell. The both of us crashed down onto the ground and I hissed as pain surged through me. I coughed, feeling something warm slide down from the side of my mouth. With Hinata cradled to my right side, I used my left hand to wipe at the liquid, and held it up to my eyes.

Blood. I had internal bleeding. That was hardly surprising. I'd also killed another person, since I didn't hear any kind of roar of anger. That wasn't necessarily  _good_ , morally speaking, but it meant I was alive, and so was the child right next to me, although she was a shivering mess.

My chakra was also completely gone again, and I was in an even worse situation than before. I was extremely wary of taking another chakra pill, because that could spell out certain death. I had nothing left to give. I breathed in and out with harsh breaths. Hinata cried out next to me.

"Mommy, Daddy... Where are you?"

I closed my eyes. I wanted my sister here with me, too. When Anko was around, everything seemed so much easier, and far more possible. I was a wreck here on my own.

We laid there for a while, with me just being unable to move, and Hinata completely unwilling to leave my side for another moment. After a few more minutes, I heard the telltale sign of someone, or some people, landing in the vicinity. My muscles tensed as my ribs protested. I was in no condition to fight another battle.

"Hyuuga-sama!" someone called out, suddenly appearing at our side.

I clenched my teeth, glaring at the new person as they tried to take Hinata away from me. The person met my eyes calmly, her own searching mine as she silently fought for control with me. Her eyes were the same whiteness as Hinata's, and I realized she was another Hyuuga. I let go of the toddler as someone came up on my left side. I looked up into their eyes to see the mask of an ANBU staring back at me. It was in the shape of a dog.

"Kakashi," I muttered, exhaustion overtaking me.

Dog turned away and barked out some orders before carefully wrapping his arms around my frame. I winced as his arm brushed against my ribs and he hesitated. Then, with a smooth swiftness, I was cradled within his arms, before he, and several others next to him, turned and headed into the trees. I tried to stay focused on his mask, but my vision was blurring incredibly. I didn't have much more to give.

"Rest," he told me, and I blinked slowly at him before closing my eyes again.

* * *

When I next awoke, the familiar sight of my sister greeted me, though I could see bags under her eyes. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she slept, her chin tucked down to rest her head and not kill her neck at the same time. The beeping from the machine annoyed me slightly and I glanced at the IV inserted into my arm. I breathed in a deep breath before trying to make a bigger movement.

My ribs made me hiss in pain, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before – probably because I was drugged up to the max. Even despite my cry, my sister didn't awake. She looked awfully exhausted, but I was just happy to see her. Although, if I were to be a little honest, I was not looking forward to her reaction. She definitely wouldn't be pleased in the least, and wait. Hadn't she been on a mission? What happened to that? I hope they hadn't thought she'd prove to be a liability because she found out her sibling was in the hospital.

"Anko," I tried to call, but my throat was so dry that nothing more than a whisper came out. I cleared my throat and tried again, and managed to croak out her name.

Her beautiful caramel-brown eyes opened slowly, bleary and unfocused, before her attention fell over onto me. There was a slow pause and then she leaned forward, her hand reaching out to gently stroke my hair. My eyes closed as a feeling of calmness ran down me.

"I heard my little sister saved the Hyuuga heir," Anko said, a tinge of pride present in her voice. "You did well."

My eyes flew to meet hers. I'd expected anger, concern, something else that wasn't the half-happy tone that met my ears. "Anko..."

A tear fell down from her left eye as she continued to smile at me. "I'm proud that you used your teachings in a good way. I'm so sorry that this was the way they had to be experienced, though."

Another tear fell. "I hate that you were forced to kill while so young, but I'm proud that you stood strong."

My chest felt like it was constricting. "Anko."

"But, why is it that when we're apart," she continued, her voice still strong despite her tears, "you always fall into some kind of trouble and nearly get yourself killed? I even knew something was off. I  _knew_  it, and I still couldn't do anything about it."

"I'm growing up," I said, trying to relieve the tension with humor.

"You are," she agreed with a soft chuckle. "Faster than I'd thought possible. I can't believe it's already been almost two years."

"What happened to Hinata?"

My sister frowned at this, her left hand reaching up to wipe at her eyes. "Uh, yeah. The Hyuugas will actually be around later to talk to you, I think. So will the Sandaime, so rest up until they get here."

I reached for the hand that was still stroking my hair and held it to my chest. "...Am I in trouble?"

Anko's eyebrows rose before she understood what I was really asking. "No. Not for that, but I am very,  _very_  angry that you chose to ignore my advice to not push yourself so hard. But, then again, if you hadn't, Konoha would have lost a very valuable person that day. One of these days, I'm going to come home to find no one waiting for me at all anymore."

Her last words sounded incredibly bitter and sad to my ears, and my shoulders slumped slightly. "I'm sorry, Anko."

"Don't be," she said. "This is all part of being a ninja. You'll understand this more when you graduate in a few months."

"How long do I have to stay in the hospital?"

"A couple of more weeks give or take. You've already been here for a full two."

At this, I stared at her with disbelief. "It's been  _two_  weeks?"

Anko frowned. "That's right. You took a soldier pill, didn't you? Plus, you went through a traumatizing situation, and killed someone. That's enough to put you out for a while."

I turned my gaze away. "It was two."

"Hm?" she asked, sounding confused.

"I killed two of them."

She stared at me for some time before closing her eyes. "I see."

I still didn't feel guilty at the moment, but I was sure that given some more time, I soon would. I clutched at Anko's hand a bit more tightly before turning to her.

"...Could you hold me until I fall asleep?"

Imagine: a grown adult asking to be held because she's scared. Unbelievable! Yet, I needed that security blanket. I think what I was more scared of was not the act of feeling guilty, but the possibility that I probably wouldn't feel anything at all. Unfortunately, knowing me, there was a very real possibility of my feeling nothing whatsoever, and that made me feel almost as if I wasn't human at all.

Anko frowned at me, her eyes seeming to be shadowed before she sighed. "Scoot over."

I smiled and tried to shift over enough to let her in the bed. She slid in next to me, her right arm hooking under my head as her left arm fell over my front protectively. I let out a large yawn and she rested her forehead against my ear.

"Sleep," she whispered softly, and I felt my eyes close.


	15. Chapter 15

I gave up on counting the birds that bypassed the window when the hospital door to the room I was in slid open slowly. My interest faded when I saw it was the Hokage, alongside of a couple of ANBU, coming in to discuss the incident that had occurred three weeks before. At this point, I was pretty much over what I'd experienced. I'd killed, but since I still didn't feel anything, I gave up it up for lost and pushed it to the back of my mind. It was probably easier since Itou had never made any sound of pain or suffering, and I never saw what the other Kumo soldier's body looked like, so that made it easier to forget as well.

Behind the Hokage was another person, but because the door slid shut before I could tell out his – her? – face, I didn't dwell on it. The wizened old man approached me with a frown, something for which I was grateful. I didn't like this old man, and if he'd tried to appeal to me in a friendly manner, I might have been more prone to ignoring him altogether. As he reached my bedside, he pulled up a stool and sat down gracefully onto it, while the two ANBU stayed at the door, as if to keep anything from getting out, or getting in. I wasn't sure which.

At the old man's nod, the ANBU with the cat mask quickly flew through a number of hand seals and placed her hand on the ground. I saw a number of kanji stretch out from the circle surrounding her hand, reaching up around the room and across the ceiling. I think she muttered something because right after, all of the kanji lit up and then faded into nothingness. It reminded me of what I'd seen while captured, and my eyes narrowed. Another fuuinjutsu of sorts?

"Hotaru-kun," Hiruzen called, gaining my attention with the lack of "-chan" and the new title of "-kun". What did that mean, I wonder?

"Hokage-sama," I said in return. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You have been through much, little one," the old man said. "And at such a young age, as well. "Not even Kakashi had managed to kill at so young an age."

I stayed silent, wondering where this was heading. He didn't disappoint.

"I would like to discuss the event of the day of the festival on December twenty-seventh and those thereafter with you, if you find yourself in a position to do so," the Hokage said authoritatively. "Please be thorough with your details, as much as you are able. What you tell me may come of great importance."

I stared at him for a short while before asking, "From what part of the day should I start recalling?"

"From the very beginning."

I rolled a shoulder back, pleased that I wasn't feeling as much pain as I had one week prior. Sleeping for so long had given my body time to heal faster, and the medics had been able to jumpstart me a bit more, allowing for a quicker recuperation. I sighed and focused my attention on the leader of the village where I'd been born. From the moment I next opened my mouth, words detailing each and every part of my day, from the time I woke up to when I hanged out with the Yamanakas, all the way until I reached the part where the Dog ANBU had retrieved me and taken me back to the village safely. I told him of how I'd disobeyed my sister's orders to go home early and instead chose to train until I was half-dead.

I informed him of the people who had kidnapped me, of their names, and how they had operated. I went on to talk about the kunoichi who had tossed Hinata and myself into the trunk of a tree and then erected an old family blood fuuinjutsu technique that, in my uneducated opinion, appeared to block out anyone who wasn't allowed access otherwise. No, I had not heard the technique's name, and no, I had no idea of what family the woman was talking of, but I knew that it had been a powerful enough technique that it had rendered the kunoichi immobile given enough time.

How did I feel when I killed the woman? Honestly, I felt nothing whatsoever – it was only a means to an end. Had she not died, we most certainly would have died ourselves, or been taken away with little resistance. Was I pleased she was dead? No, I couldn't even begin to say that was the case. I felt no joy from taking away someone's life, and I was hardly better for it, mentally speaking. Will I allow it to take over my life and keep me from living the way I want or need to? No, I chose to take an action that would most likely result in the highest probability of survival.

What was the large explosion in the forest? I fingered my necklace of chakra bombs that Anko had returned to me, painfully glad that I'd had them because we would've been in Kumo by now. Well, Hinata would've been in Kumo. I would've been with Orochimaru, preyed upon as one of his many experiments. The explosion, I summarized, was from using one of the bombs on my necklace at an opportune time and catching my enemy off guard. Did I know his rank? No, I'm afraid learning that had not been at the top of my list that day.

The last question made me stumble slightly, metaphorically speaking.

"How did you know who Dog was?" asked the Hokage, his expression never once changing throughout the story.

Uh, because I'm from a different world where you're all manga characters, and the manga said he was Dog?

"He smells like dog," I said dryly, telling him about the times I'd met Kakashi.

He, in fact, did not smell like dog. The man actually didn't have much of an odor to him whatsoever, but hey, I was a kid. If a kid says something smells like whatever, there's little point in rebuking them. Kids will say whatever they want, the little fuckers.

The Hokage was obviously amused by my reply, but commented no further on the matter.

"How often do you see the Yamanakas, Hotaru-kun?" he asked.

I rubbed the back of my head. "I was seeing them practically every day for a while there. I don't know. Is my sister back from her mission for good, or is she heading back out there again?"

Hiruzen looked at me carefully. "She and her team fulfilled their mission parameters."

"Oh, then, I'll just see them whenever we bump into each other, I guess. I might see them on the weekends."

He nodded. "I see."

I wasn't fooled at all. He wanted me to talk to Inoichi and get counseling for what I'd experienced, but I wasn't interested in the least. If I wanted help, I'd ask for it. I wouldn't be bullied into opening my heart for whatever reason given me. That was my choice, and no one else's.

There was a small moment of silence before the man spoke again.

"I hear you will be checking out of the hospital this week. Do you feel healed enough to leave?"

"I'm ready to get out of here," I answered honestly.

He chuckled. "I understand the feeling. Give Anko-kun my greetings. And, thank you for relating your experience to me. Rest well."

I nodded once to show I understood and the old man stood up. As he approached the door to leave, the Cat ANBU released the jutsu. Then, both of the ANBU just vanished from sight as the Hokage walked out of the door. I was about to let out a sigh of relief when someone else held the door open to come inside. I narrowed my eyes once I saw that it was Hyuuga Hiashi, his wife, and their little Hinata come to visit me. My sister trailed in afterwards, her eyes immediately seeking mine as I tilted my head only slightly.

"I hope you do not mind my attendance, Hyuuga-sama," my sister said in a formal, respectful manner, her head in a slight bow.

Hiashi hardly even gave her a glance, his focus solely on me, much to my chagrin. His eyes closed as his wife slowly came forward, her every step graceful as she came to the left side of my bed. Anko kept herself back towards the other side of the room, but close enough to interfere should anything come to pass. I met her gaze briefly and she frowned at me, a curt shake of the head and nod at Hiashi forcing me to look away from her and focus on my guests.

Hiashi's wife peered down at me with a blank expression, as if trying to read my every thought and movement. She stayed that way until little Hinata turned around to glance at what had captured her mother's attention so. When she saw me, her eyes widened slightly in recognition, but she otherwise stayed quiet. At the very least, Hinata seemed to relax slightly against her mother, her eyes closing as she tried to rest.

"Please allow me to introduce myself," Hinata's mother began. "My name is Hitomi, the wife of Hiashi, and the mother of the child you sought to save. I have long awaited to meet you and give my greetings."

I frowned, somewhat perplexed as to how respond. It turned out I needn't have bothered figuring that out.

"There," Hitomi started with a slight pause, her own white eyes lifting to focus on my eyes after she rose from her bow, "is much I have wanted to say to you. I have found myself in the unique position, however, of speechlessness in regards to the matter, and am concerned that my words will not do my feelings justice."

Hiashi approached behind his wife, his hand on her small of her back as she gently sat Hinata down onto my bed. I, bewildered, looked at the woman while wondering what she was thinking. Hinata, however, simply looked over at me, her eyes wide as she took in every detail. She glanced back at her mother, but otherwise sat still and quietly. Both Hitomi and Hiashi gazed down at their firstborn with something akin to love and pride, but, I think I also detected a little bit of surprise in their features.

The beautiful woman with long, silken dark-purple hair and an aura of peace and tranquility smiled almost hesitantly.

"She does not spurn your presence," Hitomi said, almost sounding baffled. "Since that day, she has allowed no other person anywhere near her, not even other members of our clan. I find myself at my wit's end, wondering what to do."

Ah, I got it now. Hinata's rejecting everyone as a potential enemy, though it did surprise me that she wouldn't trust her own family members. I could guess that I might've earned her trust by keeping her "safe", but I would've never thought her situation would be so dire. If I recalled correctly, though, Hinata had never been taken out of the village with the kidnap attempt in the manga, and so it wasn't as severe or traumatizing to her psyche. This time, however, she'd not only been stolen, but stuffed into a bag, kicked like a puppy, forced to sit in the leakage of her own urine, and subjugated to a blast of chakra that very well could have killed her before finally being return to her family. That was enough to put down any adult, much less a toddler. It was no wonder she was trying to create her own little bubble.

Hitomi opened her mouth to say something more, but Hiashi put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him as he looked at me fully.

"I wonder if you could tell me what happened that night to our daughter. I realize this is a difficult topic," he said with a glance over at my tensed sister, "but if we know what happened, we might be able to assist Hinata in her psychological treatment."

I grimaced, but just like with the Hokage, relayed to them every detail I could remember that occurred while I was with Hinata. It hadn't been a pleasurable trip at all, and I despised that a child so young had to go through such an experience. No matter what I said though, the Hyuugas' expressions never once changed or shifted – they never showed anything more than a blank expression. It was kind of admirable, honestly.

Hiashi sighed softly. "So, that is what occurred. Then it is only reasonable for her to demonstrate such actions."

Hitomi, on the other hand, while not having shown a single flicker of emotion on her face, seemed to emanate an immeasurable anger. I felt myself back away slightly, and barely noticed Anko tense even more. Hiashi never glanced at my sister, but whispered something to his wife. The dark feeling coming from her seemed to ebb away a bit, but never entirely vanished.

The woman closed her eyes before taking in a deep breath. "I know not how to express my gratefulness in your part in keeping our child safe. If only but I could, I would make you an honorary member of our clan so that all would know you have the Hyuugas backing you at every turn."

My face slackened with surprise and I could tell my sister was also somewhat flabbergasted by the idea.

"Indeed," Hiashi agreed. "You have shown great courage, and due to your actions, no one in my family is left to suffer further. With this event in mind, our family will only push to grow stronger to eliminate the weakness that allowed this to occur in the first place."

I tilted my head slightly. "I did what was right, as far as I'm concerned. There is no reason to thank me anymore than you already have."

"An honorable attitude," Hiashi stated, "but I am incapable of granting that wish. We Hyuuga are nothing if not bound to the words we speak. I speak on behalf of the entire family as the Clan Head: we, the Hyuuga, would like to assist you in whatever endeavor you would ask of us, no matter what it is, no matter how strenuous. We will accept no less."

With this, Anko's jaw fell completely and I frowned with discomfort. Even my sixteen-year-old sister was incapable of taking in this new piece of information – I think it was short-circuiting her brain, actually. Her eyes slowly turned to look into mine as she silently waited for what I would decide. I didn't really know what to tell her, because I didn't know what I wanted.

I shook my head.

"That is something I cannot even fully fathom," I told them honestly. "I don't know what I would ask for, but at the moment, I don't really want anything from you. Is this something that needs to be decided now, or can I come to you for the favor at a later time?"

"There is no expiration date for this," Hiashi firmly said. "Come to us whenever you are ready to make your decision. We will be waiting."

He turned to his wife as if to say it was time for them to leave, but she hesitated ever so slightly. Hitomi's eyes lingered on her daughter for a moment before she dragged them away to look at me. She still showed nothing but that blank mask, but I could feel her burning desire to ask something else.

"Is there something wrong?" I eventually asked to help her along. Not even Hiashi seemed to know what the woman wanted.

"It is about Hinata," Hitomi murmured slowly. "I... We are hardly in any position to ask anything more of you, and no matter how you choose to reply, that will be more than acceptable."

I waited for a little bit, and then waited for a little longer before finally realizing she wasn't going to just come out and say it. "...Yes?"

Hitomi raised her head. "Would you be at all willing to spend some of your time with our daughter? She seems to take to your presence, and if possible –"

"Hitomi," Hiashi said harshly, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. "We are in no position to be requesting anything from her, you realize."

Hitomi, much to my surprise, ignored her husband. "I am concerned about our daughter. I know this is sudden, but..."

I frowned. "Say I did choose to do so. Wouldn't that mean you owed me another favor?"

"Yes," she immediately answered, not looking upset in the slightest. "It would, indeed. A favor I would be more than willing to make possible, no matter the sacrifice I must pay."

Hiashi frowned, but didn't deny her words. He, too, looked at me to see what my answer would be. I felt Anko's gaze on me as well, and took in a deep breath.

"In exchange for taking time out of my schedule to be with Hinata, I'd like two things: training, and meals for when I'm at the compound."

The two adults seemed taken aback by my demand, and I frowned more deeply. Perhaps I should've just stuck with a full-course meal and left the training for some other time?

"That is all you're requesting of us?" asked Hitomi, her voice sounding somewhat hollow.

I gave them a smile. "I'm a terrible student. Just ask my sister."

Hiashi looked down at his daughter before looking back at me. "Training," he repeated.

"Yes sir," I replied.

He nodded. "Done. We will flesh out the details of said training once we settle the date for when you'll first come to the compound."

Hiashi looked at his wife who still seemed to be in a state of shock. She recovered soon after, her hands reaching out to pick up Hinata and hold her close to her bosom. Hitomi gave me a long glance before bowing her head. Her husband also looked at me and tilted his head down just slightly before turning around, his wife and daughter in tow. He looked over at my sister standing off to the side and nodded at her as well. Anko bowed in return and soon after, the Hyuugas left the room, the door sliding shut in their wake.

As soon as they were gone, both Anko and I let out a sigh of relief. The tension in the room had been rather thick, as Hiashi was the type of person to demand attention and respect just from how he carried himself. My sister came to my side and sat on the stool, shaking her head slightly.

"I never thought I would see the day when the Hyuugas intentionally offered a favor to someone else," she said, a bit of awe in her voice. "You could ask them something as insane as fast-tracking you through any program you desired, or for land in the village, or anything incredibly exorbitant. They have so much power in the village that nothing would be out of their grasp."

"Right," I agreed. "Something like that is too big an ordeal for me to decide right here and now. Besides, I don't know what's going to take place in the future, anyway. Hell, they could –"

I froze mid-thought. If I could use their influence to somehow deal with Naruto's situation...

I immediately pushed that idea aside. That was a can of worms I didn't need to get involved in. But, then again, what about the Uchiha Massacre? Could they somehow avert that incident?

Again, I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. No. I wasn't going to think about this right now. No, no, no, hell no. I instead turned to my sister.

"I want pancakes," I demanded.

She stared at me, slowly repeating, "Pancakes. You were just placed in a position others could only dream of, and the first thing you ask from me is not advice, but that I make you pancakes."

"Ten, please!" I added, causing her to sigh.

Anko reached out and ruffled my hair, her eyes soft and warm as she looked at me. "What am I going to do with you, brat?"

"You could teach me the summoning technique..."

She chuckled. "When you graduate, I will make that happen. Do you want to summon snakes like me?"

I shook my head fervently. "No offense, but I hate those things now."

"None taken," she muttered wirily. "I'd get another species if I weren't afraid of dying for ending the contract."

Anko tapped her knee with a few fingers before shrugging. "Fine. Pancakes. I'll go make some and bring them back, I guess."

I smiled my biggest, cheesiest smile at her and she rolled her eyes. "Save me from growing children."

I only laughed in response.

* * *

When I finally returned to school the next week, the village was bustling and buzzing with activity. Construction on rebuilding the buildings that had been destroyed during what was now known as the Kumo Incident, and people were taking to the streets again. It was obvious though, that tensions were high, and I saw a lot of shinobi entering and leaving the gate ever since I got out of the hospital.

I walked up the stairs and sat next to Shiyou, like always. He gave me a nod and handed me a small package. I took it with some confusion.

"A get well present. Shina will give you hers at a later time," he informed me quietly.

I felt myself smile slowly, feeling touched that they would bother with such a thing. I doubt they knew exactly what had happened to me, but it was the thought that they would consider me at all that really got me. I looked at the gift in my hands and put it into my bag for opening later. I then turned my attention to the front, where there was some kind of box lying on our teacher's desk. When our teacher stood up, it wasn't with the normal annoyance of a having to contend with a large, loud class. I could see the calm professionalism masking her features and something that demanded I look at her and pay attention.

I apparently wasn't the only one who felt that way, as all of my classmates soon fell quiet and looked at her with their complete attention. Maria-sensei took the roster off of her desk, slowing going through the motions of a normal day. When she called out every name for attendance and saw that every student was there, she gently placed down the binder and looked up at her students.

"Good morning, all of you," she began, pausing as we all echoed the greeting back. "As I'm sure you've noticed, the village has been quite busy lately. I'm not sure how many of you are aware, but nearly a month ago, our village walls were compromised by enemy ninja from Kumogakure, a village that has always sought out our many advantages. They attempted to steal a number of children to better their own village at the cost of ours, resulting in an incident that we will never again allow to be repeated.

"It is with great anxiety and sadness that I have to make this clear, but as of today, all of you are no longer my students."

My entire class was stunned into silence. I closed my eyes.

"The Sandaime and his advisors have officially declared war against Kumo, and due to this, we are in need of more capable soldiers to help aid missions," Maria-sensei continued, her voice completely lacking enthusiasm. "As such, all classes of this level are forcefully being promoted to genin, despite class ranking and received grades. You have all been separated into teams of three classes. Class B will be performing necessary tasks within the village that require many hands to keep all processes smooth. Class A will attend to border control, and relaying of different information to and from the village into the hands of both chuunin and jounin alike. Class S will be participating firsthand in operations outside of the village that can be performed by genin without too much repercussion.

"This format was decided upon by our lead tactician as a way to hasten your growth and accomplish all that is necessary as a whole. We did not have enough time to train you psychologically in the matters of war, and you will be relying on your jounin instructors to see you through to the end."

Maria-sensei paused for a moment before her lips firmed. "And, to those designated as Class S, I can say nothing more than to know that nothing is trustworthy out in that world. Sometimes, not even the very teammates with whom you cooperate. Nothing is what it is believed to be. Expect the unexpected, and look underneath the underneath."

For once, my class chose to say nothing at all, too deeply impressed by the news given them. Inwardly, I wondered just how many of us would still be alive at the end of this war. My eyes turned to look at Shiyou. I'd finally made a friend, and then this happened. What about my fifteen years of peace?

Our teacher lifted the lid on the box to show a set of shiny, new forehead protectors – one for each and every one of us. She picked up a clipboard and looked up at us.

"I will now call out the various teams. Starting with Class B..."

I heard her call out a number of names, with each student going down to get a hitai-ate to prove his or her adulthood and the fact that he or she was no longer a student, but a soldier fighting in the name of our Hokage. I grew wary when she didn't call out my name in either Classes B or A and closed my eyes again.

For the love of God, do  _not_  put me out in that mess.

"Team Three, under the jounin Nara Shikaku, are as followed: Aburame Shiyou, Mitarashi Hotaru, and Yakawa Rouri. As I mentioned before, you are of S-Class, and will be partaking in different operations out in the field. Please come forward to retrieve your hitai-ate."

I didn't do anything but gape down at her. I wasn't sure what part of what she said irked me the most: the fact that I was going to be out there busting my ass on the field, the fact that the damned Nara was my freaking instructor, or the fact that I was fated to be on the same team as my goddamned bully.

"You've got to be kidding me," I whispered to myself.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned my bewildered gaze up to Shiyou, who pointed down at the desk. Feeling as if I'd had my soul sucked out, I stood up and made my way down to the desk. Picking up a forehead protector from the box, I grimaced as I held it in my hand. It...felt incredibly heavy, for some reason. When another person pushed me out of the way, I fell back a couple of steps into Shiyou, who kept me from falling completely. My eyes narrowed when I saw Rouri, who sneered at me. He turned away and went back to his seat and I let out a small sound of irritation.

"Seriously, what the hell," I muttered under my breath.

By the time Shiyou and I returned to our seats, Maria-sensei was already telling us our next tasks.

"Team One will meet at Ground Eight. Team Two will meet at Ground Three. Team Three will meet at the Nara compound. Team Twelve..."

When she finally ran through every single team, she gave us one last smile, and for a moment, I realized it might be the last one I'd ever see from her.

"You are all capable young men and women," she said softly. "I have no regrets and know you will go far and do great things. I thank you for allowing me to instruct you as your teacher, and I wish you good luck in your journey."

With that said, she bowed deeply to all of us.

I grit my teeth, not wanting to see this. Grabbing my bag, I made my way down to the bottom. I gave my teacher a glance, though there wasn't much I felt I could say. In the end, I bowed my head to her and she nodded her acknowledgement. Then, I turned away and headed out of the door. To my surprise, Shiyou came up on my right side. I hadn't even noticed he'd left with me. Just as I was going to smile at him, someone from my left knocked me to the side. Shiyou had his hand gripped around my arm, keeping me stable as our third teammate passed us and kept going.

"What the fucking hell," I spat out, shifting my weight so I could stand up straight. "Goddamn that fucking brat."

"We should hurry to the Nara compound," Shiyou stated softly. "It is a shame, however."

I continued to scowl. "What is?"

"The two of us were looking forward to your visit."

That made me freeze and I looked over at him, chagrined. "I'm sorry that I couldn't go."

"No," he told me. "You have lived through a difficult experience, from what I've heard. I am only glad you're safe."

My eyebrows rose as walked beside him silently. I wasn't sure how to take that so I turned away.

"Thank you," I finally muttered.

I stared down at my forehead protector as we hurried along to the compound. I wasn't sure where to place it. I didn't want to wear it on my forehead, and I wasn't sure what else was a suitable thing to put it on. I suddenly thought of my sister, who always proudly wore hers on her forehead, and I shook my head. Brushing my bangs aside, I lifted the hitai-ate and tied it tightly against my forehead. I saw Shiyou do the same, and nodded. The two of us reached the compound right after our third teammate, who chose to ignore us entirely.

When we came up to a couple of guards blocking the entrance, they stood aside and let us through to an awaiting Shikaku. He gave us one glance before gesturing that we follow. The three of us followed – Rouri headed in front of us, and Shiyou came up right behind me and a little to the side. We trailed after Shikaku all the way to the Nara forests, where he finally had us sit down in the grass in front of him.

"I'll be quick," the tactician said. "These are not favorable conditions. Under normal circumstances, you would first pass a test at the academy and then pass a test as team to ensure you were ready for this responsibility. However, given the situation, we do not even have time for that. I will be honest: I handpicked you three from the very beginning."

No one said a word as he turned first to Shiyou. "I picked you because you have a good head on your shoulders. You're quiet, and you know how to utilize your weapons. The problem you have is that you second-guess too many things. I'll do what I can, but you'll have to figure out how to get past that on your own while we're in the field."

He turned next to Rouri. "I heard that you are fairly decent at tactics and using pieces of information to unravel plans to be used for your own benefit. Your issue is that you're arrogant and difficult to trust. To be straight with you, I need you to fix that. Pronto."

Rouri scowled, but Shikaku ignored him and turned to me. "You, I chose because you know how to get out of sticky situations when necessary. You can also be diplomatic when the situation calls for it, and you read social cues fairly well. What you need to overcome is your physical disposition and your recklessness. You'll get yourself, and all of us killed if you charge in like you always do."

I shrugged my shoulders. He spoke the truth.

"Now," Shikaku continued, "you may be aware that I am the lead tactician for our village. This puts me in a difficult position as a jounin instructor. I need to be there for the Hokage and advise him on matters, but I also need to take care of all of you. That is why you were assigned as a Class S, because we will be taking things a step further than other teams. I need information, and Kumo is particularly stingy with allowing anything to get out. Our goal is infiltration. Under normal circumstances, fresh genin would never be assigned anything so risky, but we have little choice."

Rouri scoffed, but I wasn't so willing to ignore the subtle implications of our task. "We're infiltrating Kumo? The main village, or the outskirts of the territory? Do you even know what we're getting ourselves into?"

Shikaku frowned at me. "No. That's why we're going. And, while we have declared war officially, Kumo doesn't know this yet, and we'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible. Only a few teams of genin will be undertaking this difficult task, and the rest will be left to various jounin and ANBU. We can't send in very many teams, though, because they'll figure out something's off soon enough."

I looked at Shiyou as he leaned forward. "Am I to understand that we are also acting as a surveillance team? Will there be a distraction provided to us as we slip in? Will we be undercover?"

"Yes to all three questions," our instructor said, seeming slightly pleased. "This operation needs to be kept under wrap as much as possible. We will also not be leaving as single unit, either. When it is time for you to leave, you will receive a notice the morning, afternoon, evening, or night of. When that notice will come, I can't say. It could be today. It could be in two weeks. No matter what the case, prepare yourself, because as soon as you receive it, you are to leave immediately. Understand?"

"Not much time to plan for anything," murmured Rouri. "No one knows what's going on. We're going to be sitting ducks."

"We'll see," Shikaku replied. "For now, this is my lone order to you: leave and prepare for your journey. You will receive mission details in due time."

I grimaced as I stood up. He'd briefed us solidly, but I didn't feel like he'd really told us anything. I didn't like the idea that we were going in blind, and I definitely didn't enjoy the idea of possibly heading off on my own. This definitely didn't sit well with me, and I felt like I had more questions than answers at this point. As the two boys stood up and began to leave, Shikaku held me back.

I frowned at him. "What is it?"

"Get your gear. You set off tonight."

This time, I stared at him with my mouth slightly open with indignation. "What? But I..."

He handed me a scroll. As I looked at it, my heart sank. "Why me...?"

"You can get out of sticky situations," he repeated his words from earlier. "Don't worry. We won't be far behind."

I slowly let my gaze fell. "Anko's not going to like this..."

Shikaku shook his head. "You can't tell her."

"What?" I exclaimed. "But, how am I going to get prepped? How can I just leave?"

He set his hand on my head to calm me before saying, "I know. But the moment you received that scroll, Mitarashi Hotaru no longer existed, at least for the time being. Look at the scroll. Unseal it when you are alone, and get out as soon as you can. I'm sorry, but this is how it has to be."

I stared at the scroll. Oh, she really wasn't going to like this...


	16. Chapter 16

I stood at the crossroads between the road that led back to the apartment and the one that led up to where my sister was currently working in between missions. The scroll in my hand felt like a five-thousand ton piece of metal that I had to lug around without any other choice. I looked one way before glancing back down towards the administration building off in the distance. I'd considered turning away, forcing myself to simply look forward and attend to my mission, never once letting myself see my sister again until all was over and settled. I was convinced that would be the best path to take when I left the Nara compound.

Now, as I watched the normal civilians mill about without any idea that we were in a state of war, or soon completely would be, I wasn't so sure that was the best plan. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath before letting out a sigh.

No, I couldn't do it. I couldn't just leave and never attempt to see her one last time. Who knew? Maybe I'd die along the way. I was just a genin after all – a genin being sent on a mission that should have never been considered for someone of my age level. Who knew if I would ever see her again? Besides, who was to say that my sister wouldn't also be sent out into the field, risking her life for a goal we might never realize?

I slid the scroll into my inner vest pocket and walked down the street. My eyes caught the glint of a line of plastic boxes sitting on the counter at one restaurant, packaged and ready to be paid for and eaten. I paused before turning and walking over towards them. My eyes ran over them, taking in the sticks topped with three balls of pressed rice. When the elderly lady came to the window and smiled at me, my hand was already reaching for my purse. I unwound the thread tying it closed and pulled out two coins.

"Two, please," I requested, gently setting the coins on the counter for her to take.

"What flavor would you like?" she asked kindly.

I looked at the dango, my eyes watering slowly. "Mitarashi and kinako, please."

Anko had tried to get me to eat the sweet lately, but I had never much been interested. I hadn't had much of a craving for sweets in this life. I don't think I could appreciate them much, or perhaps it was my more mature mind pushing them aside, saying that I shouldn't eat them. She always wondered how I would know that I didn't like them if I hadn't ever tried them before, but it's not like I could ever tell her I actually had.

I took the plastic box holding the two skewers, thanked the woman, and turned away. The scroll brushing against my chest seemed to radiate a heat that wouldn't allow me to ignore it and I grit my teeth as I continued to walk forward. When my feet reached the administration building, I looked up at it, my eyes trying to take in everything I saw. For a moment, I wondered if I would be seeing it again. My shoulders slumped slightly before I took in a deep breath, righting my posture, and then moving forward again.

I walked into the building, taking the various turns necessary until I came up to a formidable looking door with the words "Torture and Interrogation" written across it. This wasn't the first time I had visited Anko at her work, but it was the first that I had come of my own volition, instead of because she'd demanded I see her about something. That hadn't happened too often, but, when it had, she'd been painfully pissed off at me. I don't recall those times as being particularly wonderful.

Without knocking, I opened the door to the spacious room, my hands holding the box of dango as if it were the most precious thing I had ever come across. I saw many people glance up with some interest, though none stood up as Inoichi and Morino Ibiki chose to ignore me. Inoichi, however, was kind enough to call out my sister's name, which did make me somewhat grateful. I didn't like coming down here if I could help it. It wasn't the fact that I wasn't that far away from mass murderers, rapists, traitors, and whatever, but the fact that it was just so damn cold in the room, and I wasn't referring to the temperature.

My sister seemed a little harried, but she didn't turn me away like she might have once upon a time. Anko looked down at me with a frown, something I knew demonstrated her concern. It was just as well – she knew I hated her place of work. I forced a smile to my face, something she saw through almost immediately. But, when I silently pointed to the forehead protector that now accompanied my fashion choice, her eyes widened first in appreciation before she seemed to look at me with something akin to sadness. With that, I knew she was well aware of what the Hokage had commanded, and she knew I was just as affected as she was. She just didn't know how much, and wouldn't until later tonight, when she went home to an empty home.

_"One of these days, I'm going to come home to find no one waiting for me at all anymore."_

I never knew those words would come true so soon.

I showed her the box of dango.

"Eat with me?"

She looked at the box with complete surprise, and I only smiled wirily to show her I knew what she was thinking. This was a special occasion though. I could eat the tremendously sweet food this once, as cheers to her and what all she'd done for me up until this point. Anko nodded her head back up at the stairs, and I grinned at her. I suppose it must have been somewhat of a shock when I chose to take her hand – it was something I never did. I detested holding hands with anyone, or having my hands touched in any way by any other person. Anko paused with a moment of uncertainty, but gripped my hand tightly, but not too much so.

We walked all the way up towards the roof in silence, hand in hand. I looked at her hand as we walked. It was scarred from training, callused and rough, yet soft and gentle as the skin of most women tended to be. Her grip was strong and unyielding, yet warm and inviting. Her gait was slow and confident, but reeked of something dangerous, something to be cautious of. The back I saw whenever she walked ahead of me was large, shouldering a great responsibility, yet housed a body so small that I knew could break with the right amount of force.

My eyes took in every detail of the person I'd lived with for the past two years, the person I'd loved for the past six, though in different ways. I'd come to learn about this new Anko, the woman she was becoming as she grew up and redefined herself. I'd come to accept that she would never be the Anko I'd known before the whole Kyuubi mess, but that wasn't necessarily bad. I would always hold the memories of that younger Anko deep within my heart, but this Anko wasn't any worse or better than the one she'd been. She was just as kind and special in her own way, though I hadn't realized that at first. I ducked my head down as we continued climbing the steps.

I don't want to go.

We sat down at the edge of the roof, the two of us, side by side. My short legs dangled next to hers, and I realized just how small I was compared to her, and how much she symbolized to me as my older sister. Perhaps I was mentally older, but I had never dealt with the trauma inflicted on her. I was lucky in my past lifetime, a lifetime I found myself beginning to forget. My teeth clenched together.

I don't want to go.

We both took the dango that enticed us most, and I bit into the kinako-flavored one, the soybean flour covering my tongue as I tried to keep it off of my clothes. Anko sat quietly next to me, looking at the view we saw from the roof. I'd expected her to ask me how I felt about graduating early, about how I felt in concern to the war, but she never asked a thing. She never asked me many questions anymore about my actions, why I did what I did and why to the end I chose to do it until. It was something I wasn't quite sure how to take, this calm acceptance of hers.

That' s what it was: acceptance. Somehow, over the years, she'd chosen to just accept what I do and guide me if she could. I hadn't done anything near as comforting for her. My empty skewer fell towards my leg as I lowered it, my mood plummeting further.

"Everything's going to change again," my sister suddenly said wistfully.

"It will," I agreed quietly.  _And not in a good way._

When I'd felt her gaze on me, I turned to look at her with a sad smile, and ran her hand through my hair locks. She brushed my bangs out of my eyes, and then drew her hand away. I had the oddest temptation to grab it back, and hold on so that nothing could separate the two of us.

Don't let them take me away.

My inner tumultuous thought went unheard and Anko turned back to look at the scenery. I watched her hand fall back onto her lap and forcefully ripped my gaze away from it. My hands trembled slightly around the plastic container before I felt it slide out of my grasp as my sister stood up. She gave me another smile, her expression seeming more open than I'd ever seen it before in public. Her caramel brown eyes seemed to be filled with a warmth that showered over me, trying to calm me, but for once, it just didn't work.

I don't want to leave you.

"A-Anko!" I stammered, rising up quickly as I almost reached for her, before holding myself back.

My sister turned around, eyebrows raised as she tried to wait for me to gather my thoughts. I opened my mouth once before shutting it. I tried again.

"I'm going to become the best ninja I possibly can and make you proud."

Can't you see? You're my sister, can't you see?

"Yeah," she replied. "I know you will."

I forced another grin to my face. "I'm heading home now."

Save me.

Save me.

_Save me._

Anko gave me a smile I had never seen from her, something filled with promise and hope.

"I'll see you later then."

My heart ached at her words, but I gave her a wave and turned away.

_I don't want to go._

* * *

I looked down at my bed from where I stood. My normal clothes were folded up neatly, my bed made and looking nicer than it had for two years. I shifted around, looking instead at the full-body mirror on the back of my bedroom door. My eyes, normally a rich hazel-blue, now looked back at me with a deep emerald-green. My hair that usually sported a lighter shade of purple in comparison to my sister was now jet black, leaving no trace of the color I' been blessed with at birth.

I wore a dark grey, heavy flak vest, with wide shoulders, and three scroll pouches on my chest, and metal clasps along my right side. There were also additional extra pockets on my left side, for places to put notes or other necessities. A sash wrapped around my middle, and my black pants billowed down until my ankles, where they were wrapped tightly with white tape. My black shinobi sandals were similar to the ones I'd had over the years, but I'd left that set at the door, set neatly as if nothing was awry. My fingerless gloves covered my palms, and I looked them over as well. My hands fell to the side as my shadowed eyes looked back up at my face, and then at the headband I wore on my head.

Instead of the wonderful, shiny, new hitai-ate I'd gained just hours ago, I looked at the foreign symbol of the land of Cloud. I slowly traced the symbol before my eyes fell to the floor.

What was I doing?

There was no more time left to think about it though. I gave my clothes on my bed one last glance before turning around and leaving my room. I shouldered the bag holding all of my gear, and turned my senses towards the kunai and shuriken holders attached to my thighs with tape. The pouches attached to my waistband felt cumbersome and more dangerous to my person than anyone else's, but I didn't bother to mess with them as I walked through the apartment.

I went towards my sister's room, breathing in the smell of her shampoo and the soap she used each day. This smell... I hoped I would never, ever forget it. A solitary picture on her dresser caught my attention, and I moved forward to look at it. It the two of us together at a restaurant we'd gone to for her sixteenth birthday. I'd given her a handmade necklace – she'd never had the opportunity to wear it over the months. It sat aside next to the picture frame. That had been the only picture we'd ever taken together. It very well could be the last.

My eyes narrowed slightly and I turned away again. My feet carried me through the next room, where I looked at the couch and remembered our many fights and spats, and then to the kitchen, where we had a number of food fights and times to bond. I tore my eyes away and continued forward, stumbling when I got to the foyer. I looked at my old shoes, lying there, as if waiting for me to turn around and go back in. My hand twitched before I once again turned away. As I rested my hand on the door, my other hand reached for the top of my head and pulled down a mask that covered my features, save for my hair.

The mask had nothing of interest on it – it was just plain white, just like my new existence. A blank slate to be written on or forgotten as necessary. I wasn't anything extraordinary, like ANBU, or Root. Even members of Root had codenames, ways to identify themselves. They had meaningful existences, even if they were ultimately tools to be used at the hand of another.

_"You are nameless, a token child trained in the art of "_". You have no meaning, no real existence. You are easily replaced and are one of many. No one knows you are there, no one cares. You are nameless, but filled entirely with blame."_

It was a system Shikaku had learned of from one of the several Kumo shinobi they'd captured and taken for interrogation. The unfortunate part of the system was that most of these kids just died because they weren't trained well enough. Kumo hadn't gone the program off the ground enough for it to become very effective, and so it had died in recent years. Some people followed the old way, silently, carefully, without real notice. However, not even most of the people in Kumo agreed with the idea of throwing away children without a real cause. It was why Kumo had switched to the idea of bringing in other clans from different nations to build their strength for a faster, quicker, more deadly manner. It was a dead system, yet I...

I casted a genjutsu, replacing my current attire with how I normally looked – purple hair, hazel-blue eyes and all. I walked out of the apartment, closing it with a click. As I'd done for every day for the past two years, I walked down the corridor and outside, the moon glinting high in the sky. I glanced at it once before jumping down to the ground. My heart felt heavy as I ran over my mission parameters. Was this what he'd gone through?

My eyes turned to gaze at the administration building in the distance before I flickered away from the street and onto the nearest roof. There were no seals to slow my speed now. There was nothing holding me back. Inwardly, I cursed Shikaku.

My knees bent slowly before I raced forward, jumping from one rooftop to another until I'd reached the entrance. Just like earlier today, I walked down the many twists and turns towards the "Torture and Interrogation" room, my mind on the tantou at the small of my back. It reminded me of the one I'd given my sister just last year. How time had flown.

I forced my hands through seals in the empty corridor, feeling some of my chakra drain away as I turned invisible to the world. This is not what I'd ever wanted to use the technique for. I'd never planned to become this kind of person.

It was difficult to mask my chakra, especially as utterly frightened as I was. There was supposed to be something happening that would cover my presence, but –

My stance lowered immediately as soon as I felt the rolling of the floor as a large explosion occurred in a nearby area. I jumped up to the ceiling, attaching myself to it with chakra as several shinobi ran out of the room due to the alarm that sounded throughout the village. Flipping back down the moment I sensed most of them were gone, I fingered a couple of smoke bombs complete with sleeping powder in the pockets of my flak vest. Holding two in each hand, I slipped into the room, unsurprised to see several people still in there, holding the fort and waiting for the news. My eyes caught sight of my sister who was standing up, away from her seat, her eyes narrowed sharply as her hands clenched.

I wish she had saved me.

Without warning, I threw the bombs across the room, each one exploding and alarming every single shinobi in range. I saw each one look around wildly, trying to pinpoint the enemy, but I had no killer intent for them to detect. I swear, though, that Anko's eyes slowly turned to me, even as her pupils widened as the sleeping powder began to take effect. Her eyes burned right into mine, despite my genjutsu, and for a moment, I swear she knew. Then, like each one of the other shinobi, she fell to the ground, her face calm and peaceful as she slept.

I walked past them swiftly, leaping again to the ceiling to bypass any other shinobi I might come across. I scuttled across the ceiling, going in deeper and deeper into the dungeons that held all of the prisoners. The moment I found my two targets, the only ones still left alive, I fell down to the ground, my genjutsu finally fading away. When I stood up, the man in the cell glared up at me before frowning with some confusion. I pressed my hand against the seal containing the cage before muttering the correct phrase to free the lock. My hand opened the prison door as I stared at the man.

Uchimi, my captor from one month prior, looked back at me with something akin to disbelief. I turned my attention away and instead moved to the next cell, the one holding Souen. My eyes turned upward to the several pieces of pebbles falling from the ceiling. I could only assume there were a great number more explosions taking place. I needed to hurry.

I glared meaningfully at Uchimi and Souen both, holding out a kunai for the two of them to take. Then, as if I hadn't become their savior, I raced forward suddenly towards the exit. There was a bit of hesitation before I heard each of them close in on me, riding my curtails as we climbed the steps. The three of us burst into the room and, honestly, I'd hoped that no one had returned or woken up from their slumber. My hopes were dashed when I saw one man staring at all of his coworkers lying on the ground as if they were dead. My eye twitched as I sought to fight my inner turmoil, but I pulled out a couple of more kunai and dashed towards my target.

He saw me before I'd even taken a step, his hands already flying through seals.

"Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu!"

I took in a deep breath and forced myself to dodge away from the large water dragon, my face contorting in pain as it scraped across my arm. I threw both of my kunai at the Konoha soldier, hardly surprised when he'd dodged them. My gaze flickered over at the two Kumo ninja as I clapped my hands together and slammed them into the water on the ground.

"Raiton: Hiraishin!"

I felt my body complain as chakra ripped out of me to the ground and formed tendrils of lightning that communicated across every bead of water. This hadn't been how I'd intended to use the technique, but I figured it would have to do when I saw the Konoha ninja yell out in pain as he was electrocuted. I let out a breath and bent down, readying myself to launch another attack when I saw Souen shift into motion.

"Raiton: Rakuraitsuu!" he shouted, diving forward and throwing a fist screaming with lightning straight at the man's chest, plowing it into him and making the man shudder violently with a thousand currents of electricity. I saw his eyes roll into the back of his head as he fell backwards, dead.

I hesitated only slightly, but forced myself to turn away and run into out of the room. Souen and Uchimi were right on my heels again, both seeming more determined as we reached the main halls of the administration building. With a grunt, I ripped a smoke bomb from my vest and threw it at the first Konoha ninja we ran into. She cried out in surprise, but only a gurgle continued escaping her lips as Uchimi did away with her life with incredible ease.

I jumped up and crashed through a window, opening our way to the outside world. I saw a flash of orange further along in the city where another explosion took place, and motioned for the two escapees to follow along after me. We dashed through the shadows, and I winced when I felt another explosion rip through the area. As I did, my two cohorts ran up the large wall separating the village from all else, and we were, of course, met with some resistance.

Sweat was beading down my face as four Konoha ninjas approached the three of us, and I clapped my hands together, inwardly wondering who would have the last blow I'd be capable of without a soldier pill. Uchimi must have sensed what I was trying to do, and from his mouth shot bullets of water, blasting and hitting the ground near each ninja, if not barely scraping them. I took in a deep breath, and shouted out,

"Raiton: Hiraishin!"

My body absolutely screamed this time as my chakra poured out of me, or maybe I was just hearing the vocal cries of my enemies – no, comrades? No, what were they right now?

Souen spun in the air and kicked one man off of the wall, sending him plummeting down to his death below. Uchimi slammed his one kunai into the chest of another, before blasting yet one more with another lightning jutsu. I raced around Souen, a kunai in my hand as I leapt up and plunged the kunai into the next man's chest. Blood spurt from his mouth, splashing onto my mask as I slowly backed away. I was already tired – I didn't have the chakra to vomit out all of these intense, high-powered techniques.

My eyes met up with Uchimi's, who gave me a nod. I gave him one in return before jumping off of the wall, flipping over and over until I crashed down on the ground, shudders of pain racing up my legs as I winced. The two men landed right beside me, and my mind flashed back toward the map I'd painstakingly memorized for hours. I stood up slowly, my shoulders tight as I turned myself to face a specific direction. I pushed myself forward, hearing them follow after me.

I reached into my lowest vest pocket and pulled out a brown pill, looking at it with a frown before quickly consuming it. Energy raced through me, filling me with power and a strength I wouldn't normally be able to access on my own. My speed increased as the three of us hopped from one branch to another. As we left Konohagakure behind us, I glanced back to see a number of explosions still taking place, and sent a silent thank you to the person who had covered my ass. There was no turning back for me anymore.

By the time we left the territory of the Land of Fire, I could already feel the two men with me slowing down. In a way, I had to hand it to them – they'd been locked up for a month, but had still managed to make it this far without dropping back. I looked back at the two of them, my energy still roaring strong from the pill. I wasn't ready to stop until we got further away, and I didn't feel safe being so close to the border. Yugakure may no longer have been an actual hidden village, and there was no way they knew who I was, but I was wound way too tightly to think that I was safe in any capacity.

I was antsy, but forced myself to sit still as we saved our strength along the bank of a stream deep into the forest. We didn't build a fire, despite how chilly it was. Not a single one of us knew if we had been chased, and if any hunter-nin were on our trail, the last thing we needed to do was alert them as to where we were. I looked at the two shinobi that I had risked my ass for.

You ruined my life.

I was a bit bitter.

After we'd rested for some time, Souen flashed me a tired grin, his weariness showing as he leaned forward. "Hey there, mystery person. Thanks for the save."

"It makes me wonder what your game is," Uchimi questioned darkly, his eyes glaring at me.

I straightened slightly and then stood up fully. "No game to play."

"Why did you save us?" he continued to question. "I'm not going to fall into whatever ploy you've got concocted."

I fished into my pocket for two more soldier pills, tossing one to each of them. I then pushed my mask up slightly, so they could see my face. I saw Souen's eyebrows raise in response as he let out a small whistle. I didn't bother to acknowledge him, instead facing Uchimi and pointing my thumb at the hitai-ate on my forehead.

"I simply had a role to play."

Uchimi seemed surprised before glaring at the mask on the top of my head. "You remind me of something, something that Kumo should have killed off by now. You shouldn't exist."

"I don't," I replied, mentally whispering the words for the genjutsu that would show them what I originally looked like.

To say they were stunned when they saw my appearance was putting things lightly. Souen gaped.

"You're...that kid we tried to get," he trailed off. "You were with Kumo the entire time? We never knew anything about that..."

I let the genjutsu fade as I turned away, pulling my mask down.

"There's a lot you don't know," I murmured before peering back at them. "Let's go."

Souen laughed as he came and clapped me on the shoulder. "You're a good sort. Glad I didn't fuck you."

I stared at his hand before shrugging it off and walking forward.

I didn't do this for you.

_You ruined my life._


	17. Chapter 17

A few kilometers outside of the large village that was Kumogakure, I fell to a stop, my feet sinking into the snow. Souen and Uchimi paused when they saw I was no longer moving forward, each one frowning – Uchimi with suspicion, and Souen with confusion. I closed my eyes and turned my head away.

"This is as far as I go."

Uchimi narrowed his eyes, marching forward and grabbing me by my flak vest. "I knew there was something off about you. You've led us into a trap, haven't you?"

I sighed. "I don't exist, remember? I had never intended to enter the village together with you. I was just here to guide you back safely."

At least, I wouldn't be taking the front door in. That would've been reckless, even for me.

Souen gave me another grin, with more bout of laughter to go with it. I was sick of hearing him talk – I'd heard it for the past near full week straight. I was also on edge because children were not supposed to take soldier pills, much less two of them. I needed to get someplace where I could collapse without concern for my well-being in the meantime.

"Well, we're here," Souen finally continued after falling silent. "That's far closer than we were not too long ago, Uchimi."

"This kid's up to something," Uchimi argued. "I don't trust her at all."

"I risked my life to get you out of Konoha," I murmured quietly to hide to my growing ire. "What do you possibly expect me to do to you now that I couldn't just have done when you were locked up?"

Souen clapped a hand on Uchimi's shoulder. "She's right. Let it go. We're here. Let's head home."

The other man continued to glare at me for a while longer before throwing me back and cracking his neck. "You'd best hope we never cross paths again, brat."

As Uchimi turned around, intent on forgetting we'd ever met, Souen gave a wink and a parting grin. I ignored him, only waiting around in the spot where I stood for the two to begin their trek back to the village. I soon lost track of them in the whiteness of the snow and the splashes of brown and green of all of the trees. I shifted my body around to face a different direction, a few beads of sweat running down my face as I breathed in and out more harshly than before. I took one step forward before feeling my body seize up from exhaustion and fell flat, right into the snow.

I clenched my hands into fists and pulled my arms closer to my body. With a grunt, I strained to push myself off from the ground, my eyes narrowed from the strenuous effort. My arms trembled and shook as all of my weight fell onto them, but I managed to reach a sitting position. I took a deep breath, counting to three before launching myself up to stand again. I clenched every one of the muscles I could to secure my standing position and then allowed them all to relax somewhat.

My eyes turned to look in the direction I needed to go, and it took some time before my body finally obeyed the command for it to begin moving again. Each step made my muscles ache, and each breath I took brought me yet one second closer to exhaustion, but I couldn't allow myself to fall unconscious just yet. I pushed forward through the snow – I didn't want to go up into the trees because I was afraid of falling off, and if I ever fell, there was no telling when, or rather if, I would be standing up again.

Trudging my way through the snow took more time and wasn't nearly as efficient, but it was just what I needed at the moment. If I ran into any Kumo ninja out for checking around the border, then I needed to save whatever energy for that moment of confrontation. Even with my better chakra control, – well, better than when I'd first started the academy – I highly doubted that I would be able to manage even my Fukashi no Kaze technique right now. I had hardly anything but my throwing experience to rely on, and that wasn't exactly my forté at all.

It took me another solid seven to eight hours of walking like that to get to my final destination, which really wasn't anywhere special at all. There were a great number of trees, a lot of snow, a cloudy sky... It looked about the same as all of the area I'd been walking through since the very beginning. For a moment, I dearly wished I had my mission scroll on me, but I'd burnt it up as clearly directed. I kept looking around tiredly, but wasn't sure what I was supposed to be looking for in the first place.

My hands fell on my hips as I finally began to give up, and it was only then that I felt the hair on the back of my neck begin to rise as I felt someone's gaze on me. I felt my shoulders stiffen and gritted my teeth as I forced myself around, a kunai suddenly in my right hand. I looked up into the tree where a man complete in a white cloak that covered most of his body, all the way down to his ninja sandals. I grunted as I shifted a step back, but the man merely stared at me before jumping down to land in front of me.

"So, you're the one," he said in greeting, making me tense and take another couple of steps backwards.

I frowned. "The call of a raven..."

"...Brings with it a death swifter than the fastest kunai," the man finished. "In lieu of the rising sun..."

"...The moon, instead, will rise and cast a light for all those bathed in darkness," I said, completing the phrase. I grimaced – those were the set passwords to say in this situation, but I wanted to make certain. "Redness means not the end..."

The man rolled his eyes. "Suspicious, little thing, aren't you?"

I stayed silent and glared at him, raising the hand wielding my kunai higher.

"Fine," he muttered. "Redness means not the end, but simply the truth of weakness and failure. Happy?"

"No," I admitted irritably. "I'm tired. I'm cold. I want the hell out of here."

He pointed back behind him. "The base is this way, just a few kilometers out."

My armed hand fell to my side as I slid my kunai back into its holder. "I won't be making it that far anytime soon."

My contact merely stared at me with an unreadable expression. "How many soldier pills did you take?"

"Two."

He grunted. "You're a stupid child. That would normally mean your death. I don't know what the hell that man was thinking, sending a greenie like you out for this. What a waste of resources and time."

I blinked slowly, my exhaustion taking hold of me as felt my legs slacken and send me shooting down to the ground. The man came up to me and I stared up at him, my eyes narrowed but unable to really take in much detail anymore. He tapped a finger against my skin, right underneath my forehead protector.

"Sleep."

* * *

I dreamt again. This time, I was in some kind of building, looking outside at the rolling fields of green grass that went as far as the eye could see. I was sitting down in front of a pane of glass, my eyes open wide, clearly taking in my surroundings. I looked to my left where my sister, Anko, sat next to me, her eyes shadowed. She didn't try to look at me even once, her eyes focused on the outside, a part of the world neither of us seemed able to access. I turned away from the window, looking at the wonderfully decorated interior. It was as cozy here as it felt in the home I shared with Anko, only bigger with more room to spread out.

I moved to grasp my sister's hand, and she finally turned her attention to me, as if suddenly realizing that I had been there with her the whole time. She stared at me for some time, but eventually shifted her gaze back outside at the green plains. I flicked my eyes over to look outside as well, though I couldn't say I was wholly interested. Grass was grass, and it was everywhere in the world, practically. Sure, Suna didn't have much to offer as far as that was concerned, but most everywhere else had that piece of nature.

"Let's go sit on the couch," I suggested to her, but she only turned her somewhat empty gaze back at me.

I pointed at the couch in the living room, saw her look in that direction, but then turn that empty expression back towards me.

"What couch?" she asked blankly, sounding somewhat confused.

My immediate response was to hesitate at the question. I didn't know what she meant. When I pointed out the couch again, she once again informed me she had no idea of what I was talking about at all. Finally growing fed up with her attitude, I pulled hard on her hand and dragged her after me up to the couch. She followed along obediently, but only continued staring ahead of herself absently with an expression that denoted she wasn't completely all there. I went behind her and pushed her into the leather couch, and for the first time since I'd seen her at the window, her eyes seem to clear and she stared up at me with surprising intensity.

Anko looked as if she was going to get up off the couch and do something, but she paused and looked at the couch warily. Her caramel brown eyes flickered around her at her surroundings, and then she closed her eyes, almost as if in resignation. Admittedly, I was somewhat confused by her actions, and looked around myself at all of the décor, though I wasn't as taken in by it all as she seemed to be.

A hand suddenly grabbed my wrist, and I, surprised, quickly turned to look back at her. Her arm was trembling before she glared up at me and fiercely dragged me forward, pushing me again the couch right beside her. Then, as with years previously, grabbed hold of both of my shoulders. Her eyes stared straight into mine with a ferocity I hadn't seem from her for a while.

"You shouldn't be here!" she scolded me with urgency. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here?" I questioned, tilting my head. "We live together, remember?"

Anko's eyes widened a small fraction before her head bowed and appeared to tremble. "I never wanted you to ever come here..."

I stared at her, a little bit of fear digging its way into my heart. "What are you talking about?"

"I never noticed..."

I saw something drop from her face and land on the cushion with a small splash. Then, another fell, and another. I never saw her face when she wrapped her arms around me tightly, as if to hold on for her dear life and never let go. Her grip became so tight that I began to have trouble breathing. I grunted out her name questioningly, wondering where this sudden need for physical touch came from. Anko had never been much of a touchy-feely person, even with me. I could count on one hand the number of times she'd ever hugged me to display her love for me. She showed her love through other actions – touching wasn't necessary. For that reason alone, I was somewhat at a loss of what to do.

Anko finally relaxed her grip, but she never did let go of me fully.

"This isn't over," I heard her promise, vehemence, fury, and hatred lining her voice. "I won't let it end like this."

I touched her shoulders gently, trying to push her away without hurting her emotionally.

"Don't worry," I told her. "Everything'll be fine."

"No," she whispered back, her reddened eyes finally lifting to meet mine. "Not anymore. Nothing will be."

At those words, I felt a sharp ache in my chest.

* * *

When I came to again, I found myself swathed in darkness. I had been undressed as far as the pair of shorts and undershirt I wore beneath all of my other clothing. I sighed, rubbing my face with a hand as I thought of what to make for breakfast. I wondered if Anko was already cooking something up in the kitchen, but I couldn't smell any tantalizing aromas, nor could I hear the clanging and banging of any pots and pans. I groaned to myself before pushing myself out from under the covers. My feet hit against a cold, hardwood floor, which confused me for a moment. I wondered where my carpet mat had gone off to. At this, my chest seemed to ache something fierce, but I couldn't understand why.

For a moment, Anko's face came to my mind, and I blinked back tears. My hand reached up to rub my forehead, and I wondered if I was starting to suffer from PMS already – I'd thought I'd have another six years or so, at least before dealing with that version of hell again. I walked across the room, flicking on a switch and watching the room suddenly flood with light. Blinking a few times, I looked around for my dresser so I could get changed. That was when I saw it.

The outfit hanging on a hook on the wall stared back at me unabashedly, and suddenly, memories of the past couple of months raced back into my mind, unbidden and unwelcomed. With a jolt, I slammed back into the present, my body falling to the unrelenting floor as emotions swarmed me. My eyes grew teary and my hands slapped at the ground as I blinked rapidly.

Just like that, I remembered beginning the mission assigned to me by my jounin instructor Shikaku. I remembered breaking out the prisoners from jail, fighting my way out of Konoha, my home, and escaping with the two people who were the ones to essentially start this entire mess. I recalled meeting Kenichi, a longtime contact of Shikaku, and someone who had been in Kumo's ranks for a long while now. It was this man, a fearsome person in his own right, who had suggested the idea of using a system long since abandoned to start this farce of an infiltration mission. It was he who had resigned me to never again seeing my home.

I'd been here for a couple of months already, but I'd never actually visited the village of Kumogakure even once. Because Shikaku had never had any time to train me, Kenichi took it upon himself to enlighten me of every part of the current politics within Kumo, as well as the important figures and places. He taught me of the two jinchuuriki, Killer Bee and Nii Yugito, and how they currently ranked in power and strength. I was then specifically told that I was to never go near either one of them, no matter what happened.

I remember protesting to never actually going out and seeing what was happening for myself, but the man immediately slapped that idea out of my mind. No, literally, he physically slapped me.

_"You go out there, and all that's going to happen is your quick and immediate death."_

I'd glared at him that day.  _"This is an infiltration mission, but I'm just sitting here, rotting away. I can't even leave this area."_

 _"Let's get this straight, greenie,"_  Kenichi had said, looking at me dismissively,  _"you're only here because it's more convenient and easier to explain away. You think a newbie like you, fresh out of the academy, is actually going to go out there on your own and work some magic? No, brat, you're nothing. You mean nothing. You're an insignificant insect, a pawn on the board of a chess game bigger than you could ever grasp."_

 _"What about my teammates?"_  I'd asked with no small amount of irritation.  _"Where do they fit into this? Are they coming out here to meet you, too?"_

 _"What teammates?"_  he'd asked, stroking his unshaven chin.

I'd narrowed my eyes, but he'd only shaken his head.  _"You're it, toots."_

_"I thought we were all working together for reconnaissance."_

_"They may be doing reconnaissance, but I can guarantee you it's nowhere near the actual village. I told you: newbie genin are useless to missions like this. They're too fragile and prone to spontaneous combustion. Plus, you'd all die and then we'd have to find other means to achieving something that should have been simple in practice."_

_"Then what am I doing here?"_

Kenichi had smiled, though it'd only looked predatory, evil, and cold to my eyes.

_"I've been here for a while, but I recently got caught and had to get out of dodge before they caught onto me for sure. That means, I have no real way of keeping an eye out the current situation, so Konoha can't really move and make solid plans. That's where you come in, brat."_

_"I don't think I'm going to like what you're about to say."_

_"You're what, five?"_

_"Six. Technically."_

_"Right. Perfect. Hey, you'll be right there with all those other brats. Hope you make a lot of friends."_

Oh. Right.

That's why I'd hung up the clothes. Honestly, I was supposed to have sealed them away, but I hadn't brushed up on that part of fuuinjutsu just yet, so I couldn't do that at the moment. Bah, I'd have to do that later. I turned back to look at the one room apartment, complete with the tiniest kitchen I'd ever laid eyes on. It was small, but just enough for me, a supposed young, little academy student fresh from the orphanage. It amused me somewhat that I was practically in the same position I'd been two years ago, but I wondered if Shikaku had planned for that, as well. I very well knew how lonely life in the orphanage could be, and there was enough poverty in Kumo that the number of parentless or abandoned children rang so high that it wouldn't be unreasonable for a few or so to slip through the cracks.

Kenichi had gotten me into the city through a hidden tunnel, and had called in a favor under a different name to get me my new residence, but now, I was on my own. I wouldn't be seeing that guy for another number of months, or unless I fucked up somehow. Honestly, though, I think the thing that irked me the most about my current situation was how I'd had to get locked up into it.

I gazed down at my hands, a frown marring my face. I'd killed fellow shinobi for the sake of getting here, and had broken out two people I would've rather had seen terminated. I couldn't understand what the reasoning behind that was. I understood now, after the sixth beating from Kenichi, that I was in no position to try attending to the mission on my own in any other capacity – I just wasn't experienced enough. However, what had been the point of the mask, the outfit, the secrecy, everything? For what reason had I essentially "died" in my real home and been "born" here in Kumo?

Whatever. There was time for reflection later, but for now, I had to get ready for my first day of school, again. And this time, I'd have to build a reputation for myself from scratch. Kenichi hadn't told me whether to lie low or to acquire some notice by showing a good deal of proficiency here and there. Both had their pros and cons. If I hid most of my true abilities, I'd be able to sneak around and see what was going on, and people would ignore me whenever I went "snooping" around. I'd miss a lot of information up top though. I wasn't very good at branching out, making a lot of friends, and becoming popular, gaining information that way.

Then again, I could always take the dumber path and make myself a well-known figure. If I made myself well-known, important people might start taking notice of me, which would clear the way for more advanced training and options. After all, I was without a family, and young at that – I was obviously impressionable, and could be molded into a better weapon for the future. The pros for this path, of course, were that I could gain insight of the tensions within the village, see what was really happening up top, and be taken seriously if I chose to try to understand my surroundings. The evident flaw of this route, however, was that as a high-profile character, I wouldn't be able to get away with much, and people might start sniffing around, trying to figure out things about me. That could land me in some hot water, especially if they really started looking into my history. As an orphan, it was expected they wouldn't find much, but if those two prisoners I saved ever had a say in anything...

As I pulled on my heavy, long-sleeved shirt and tied a sash around my waist to keep it secure, I tilted my head. When I considered my personality, I knew what choice would be easiest for me to work with, but I wondered if it was actually a good idea to go with that. If I made a mistake, would I be able to get out of Kumo with my head attached? I wondered how far ahead Shikaku had thought of the scenario and what he had expected me to do in turn. Had he assumed I would go around, guns blazing and causing chaos everywhere, or did he think I would reflect on his words and take the lesser, but safer path?

Ugh, I wasn't even sure what  _I_  wanted, much less others. I would just have to take it one step at a time.

I approached the door, fiddling with dark-grey pants. There just weren't enough pockets in comparison to my normal wardrobe. I opened the door and closed and locked it behind me. Walking down the corridor to the outside, I opened that door, sunlight striking me hard enough to make me bow my head and close my eyes. After a few blinks, I grew accustomed enough to leave the apartment area and head out into the brilliant day light. There was still some snow left on the ground, but not a ridiculous amount for April.

I lifted my foot and placed it on the railing that went around the apartment complex. I looked down first at the many houses and buildings on the ground before turning my gaze up to the spiraling, tall infrastructures that Kumo was well-known for. It was strange being in a village like this, a place that was surrounded by mountains and forced to adapt to the lack of decent foundation.

I stepped back, my now green eyes looking around me as I judged the quickest way to get to the academy. It was fortunate that the building was on ground level so all children would be able to access it. Instead of jumping down like I'd have preferred, I took the long way around, my shinobi sandals clacking against the wooden steps as I went down. The moment I reached ground level, I was taken aback by all of the general liveliness of the village people, both civilian and shinobi alike. For some reason, I'd always thought of Kumo like a North Korean settlement, where there was little freedom available for normal people and where the high-ranking soldiers controlled all.

As a bunch of other kids around my physical age brushed past me, their giggles and laughter ringing out throughout the air, a sudden thought that this village hardly seemed any different from mine struck me with impressive impact. That made my position even odder – I wasn't very good at dehumanization.

I looked up to see a few shinobi, both female and male alike, staring at me with some kindness, smiles on their faces. I wondered how I looked to them and I returned their stares, my head tilting slightly. Then, after a few moments, I walked forward, heading to where the academy was, the location burned into my mind as if with branded there with fire. I moved with confidence and purpose as I normally did – I knew where I needed to go, even if I didn't know what would happen once I arrived there. There hadn't been pre-exam here, after all. It seemed like Kumo took in relatively anyone. I suppose that if the students failed somewhere along the way, that was a real shame, but Kumo was not about to turn away potential ammo fodder.

I walked into the academy alongside several other children, a glance at the board outside telling me exactly where I needed to go. When I arrived at the classroom, I took the seat at the very back of the classroom at one table, my eyes constantly looking to and fro at the happily playing children that just looked excited to be present for the first day of school. Well, technically, it wasn't their first, but eh, they were only seven-years-old, or around therein. As the room began to fill up more, people began migrating to the back of the classroom because the front was completely full.

A cute, little dark-haired girl came in quietly, her eyes downcast. She caught my interest immediately, though for what reason, I wasn't sure. Her navy-blue eyes looked around to see where there was an open seat left. I saw her avoid sitting herself near a few boys, and inwardly sighed. That's right, this age was the one where kids were all squeamish about being near the opposite sex, wasn't it? I'd never gotten that even when I'd  _really_  been this age. Japan had made me want to tear my hair out sometimes with the separation of genders for  _everything_.

The girl seemed to give up, venturing to the back of the classroom shyly. She looked at an open table, but apparently had no desire to sit by herself. Almost as if seeming a little uncertain, she bit her bottom lip and then slowly turned to me. Her blue eyes glanced at me, as if asking for permission. Squashing the need to roll my eyes, I gave a small nod, gesturing to the seat. She sat down, her hands in her lap as she pushed her shoulders back and looked forward. My eyebrows rose at the action, and I again wondered exactly what it was about this kid that had taken my interest so quickly.

At this point, our instructor came walking in, her dark-brown skin seeming to glow as she smiled at us. She opened her mouth to give a spiel similar to the one I'd received back in Konoha, and I longed to bury my head in my arms. Why was I going to school like this for the  _third_  time in a row?

There were apparently new additions to the class, like myself, and so each student stood up to give a brief speech about themselves. When the order finally came around to the back, the child next to me stood up, holding her head up as high as could, although I could see the trembling of the fist she kept at her side.

"My name is Itou Mizuki. I look forward to making everyone's acquaintance."

I froze, my gears and cogs in my mind unable to continue churning as I heard her surname. No, but, no way. There had to be a ton of Itous in this village, right? It had to be a common name. My luck couldn't be that shitty, could it?

I felt the stares of other people on me, and shoved my new realization to the back of my mind as I stood up. I stared down at my right hand resting against the tabletop before slowing adjusting my posture and looking up at all of the curious, yet somewhat bored stares of the children.

This was a new life. I had to be different.

I attempted a small smile.

"Murakami Shinrai. May we all get along splendidly."

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think.


End file.
